Bullying

[Lace Neil Singer]

Can you define "normal" for me? O_o Does "normal" even exist?

[Flyndaran]

Can you define "normal" for me? O_o Does "normal" even exist?

No physical, mental, or emotional problems or handicaps. Or sometimes, within one standard deviation suffices for normal.

[violetyoshi]

Umm you seem to assume that I qualify as normal. That's completely untrue. But I don't whine about how it's everyone else's fault for getting upset with my failings. Yes, they are my failings.
Normal is healthy average. Being rude is rude regardless of the mental illness or disability that creates it.
Also, your arguemnt fails from argumentum ad absurdum long before you fail from your intended argument. I don't like rude people or what have you, so naturally that means I want everyone abnormal to be segregated, right.

That's the thing, I choose not to blame myself for problems I have due to being born with Asperger's Syndrome. Maybe if you stopped blaming yourself for the problems you have because of what makes you different, you wouldn't feel the need to be so hostile towards those who have managed to do so.

[BroomJockey]

That's the thing, I choose not to blame myself for problems I have due to being born with Asperger's Syndrome.

After all, if it's not a problem you caused, you don't need to work on it? Everyone else has to accommodate your problem?

[the_std]

I personally have a few mental disorders that led to being bullied in school. Yes, to the point of contemplating suicide. However, I don't blame everyone else for this and exclude myself from said blame. I recognize that the majority don't have the same disorders I do and can't be expected to change the way that it works for most people just to accommodate me. It would be nice if everyone could recognize every possible mental disorder and take them allllll into account when dealing with situations like this. However, this is pretty much impossible.

Yes, it sucks that some people get victimized. Yes, life is difficult. Yes, it's hard to be on the fringes of society. But guess what. You (generic you, not specific you) are the only one who is responsible for your actions. I am a functioning member of society, happy and productive, because I realized that I was the only one who could change me, who could control me. Personal responsibility could change anyone's life.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I went thru a lot before I got to that stage. That was due to the fact that the bullying and victimisation made me not trust anyone, plus I'd been taught by my experiences that the only way to deal with people who didn't accept me was to lash out.

[Flyndaran]

That's the thing, I choose not to blame myself for problems I have due to being born with Asperger's Syndrome. Maybe if you stopped blaming yourself for the problems you have because of what makes you different, you wouldn't feel the need to be so hostile towards those who have managed to do so.

I don't blame myself entirely for my problems. I just don't coddle myself with thoughts that mine are worse than everyone else's or that they should deal with my uniqueness rather than I deal with the public at large.

What makes me different is my odd sense of humor. My anxiety is what me less than perfectly healthy. It's not a badge of honor. It's a neural fuck-up.

[violetyoshi]

After all, if it's not a problem you caused, you don't need to work on it? Everyone else has to accommodate your problem?

This is how people thought about people with physical disabilities before it was accepted that they should receive help from society. Having to hear, well we're not bothering to build a ramp for you, it'll cost us money.

Then again, it's not new that people who don't have visible disabilities are disregarded or ignored. I find it rather ignorant that people need to see someone's disabled, in order to respect and take into consideration their situation. It's like a little child who refuses to believe air exists, because you can't see it.

I don't blame myself entirely for my problems. I just don't coddle myself with thoughts that mine are worse than everyone else's or that they should deal with my uniqueness rather than I deal with the public at large.

What makes me different is my odd sense of humor. My anxiety is what me less than perfectly healthy. It's not a badge of honor. It's a neural fuck-up.

So because I don't feel ashamed of having Asperger's Syndrome, and you feel ashamed of having anxiety, that means I'm being obnoxious? I'm sorry for having self-esteem, and not needing to bring down others in order to build myself up.

Seems to me, your attempts to make me feel poorly about having Asperger's Syndrome, are to make yourself feel better about your low self-esteem. Not the first time that's happened.

[BroomJockey]

Then again, it's not new that people who don't have visible disabilities are disregarded or ignored. I find it rather ignorant that people need to see someone's disabled, in order to respect and take into consideration their situation.

Again, you manage to put your foot in your mouth due to your staggering lack of knowledge of me. Guess what? I have a foot of medical steel in each hip, keeping the bone in the socket, making it so I can walk. Got it in grade 3/4 (one side each year). I know all about invisible disabilities. Walking up a flight of stairs puts a ton of stress on the joint, and hurts like hell. But I'm overweight, and taking elevators and escalators. Guess how people look at me? They think I'm lazy, not that I'm avoiding being in pain for the next 3 hours. The only time anyone can tell anything is when I'm tired, I limp a bit. That's it. That's my only external sign. So don't "invisible disability" me. You've not earned that.

[violetyoshi]

Again, you manage to put your foot in your mouth due to your staggering lack of knowledge of me. Guess what? I have a foot of medical steel in each hip, keeping the bone in the socket, making it so I can walk. Got it in grade 3/4 (one side each year). I know all about invisible disabilities. Walking up a flight of stairs puts a ton of stress on the joint, and hurts like hell. But I'm overweight, and taking elevators and escalators. Guess how people look at me? They think I'm lazy, not that I'm avoiding being in pain for the next 3 hours. The only time anyone can tell anything is when I'm tired, I limp a bit. That's it. That's my only external sign. So don't "invisible disability" me. You've not earned that.

I replied to your quote, I didn't see anywhere where I mentioned you specifically.

[BroomJockey]

I replied to your quote, I didn't see anywhere where I mentioned you specifically.

Nice cop out. You reply to my quote, but not to me? Especially when every other time HAS been to accuse me? Transparent at best.

[Flyndaran]

...
So because I don't feel ashamed of having Asperger's Syndrome, and you feel ashamed of having anxiety, that means I'm being obnoxious? I'm sorry for having self-esteem, and not needing to bring down others in order to build myself up.

Seems to me, your attempts to make me feel poorly about having Asperger's Syndrome, are to make yourself feel better about your low self-esteem. Not the first time that's happened.

I never once said that I'm ashamed for having emotional problems. Please reread what I wrote. Thinking your problems are so much worse than everyone else's is egotism, and won't help you live peacefully with others.
I don't want anyone to feel poorly for thier problems. But demanding that everyone deal with you rather than you work on your own problems is not having self esteem.
If you act rude to me, I won't simply bend over and let you. I will first find out if you have the ability to act nice. If you can, but simply choose not to, then I will avoid you and consider you a jerk. If you cannot, then I may exert extra effort to avoid making social situations worse, but I still won't hang out with you.
That's life, deal with it. I expect others to do what's best for them, not me.

[Depot Denizen]

I was bullied when I was in school. Middle school to be precise. I was picked on a lot for where I lived (I lived in a teepee for a year - it sucked). That and I wore flannel and jeans, which apparently wasn't "cool" back then.

Counselors and teachers were of no help whatsoever. They told me to ignore the problem, which only seemed to make it worse. I took it until 8th/9th grade when I started developing a spine.

A jock bully shoved me down a few stairs after gym class and I snapped. I leaped back up the stairs and beat the everloving shit out of the guy. It stopped when some of the others managed to pull me off of him and hold me against the wall. He limped away and didn't bother me after that. We both got suspended. It wasn't more than a few months until I tranferred to another school.

Even there I was picked on for a while, more mental bullying than physical. Again, teachers and counselors were of no help. The one guy that did want to start a fight got slammed against the wall by a senior who looked like Paul Bunyan. He didn't bother me after that. I went to vocational school after my sophomore year and didn't have to deal with it after that.

My temper didn't help much, I have a short fuse. In a way it fed them, but it made me feel that I was at least trying to do something. After going to voc school I think I had a problem with one student, but that was a one-time issue.

It's funny, once I got out of high school the bullshit ended. Looking back on it now, I find it funny of all the energy I put into it. Then I went to college and it was like, all of the bullshit didn't matter at all. No one cared. The idiots I had to deal with in high school didn't exist where I was. I think the really nasty ones never made it into college.

Since I had grown a spine and learned to stand up for myself I never had any problems. That and I learned how to be confident in myself. I'm still learning to like myself, as if I'll perfect that. :P

I think things improved dramatically after going to vocational school, though. People are there because they -want- to be there, unlike the vast majority of public academic schools.

[violetyoshi]

Nice cop out. You reply to my quote, but not to me? Especially when every other time HAS been to accuse me? Transparent at best.

I think you just want to make this all about you.

[BroomJockey]

I think you just want to make this all about you.

I think you're embarrassed and are now trying to backpedal. That's okay. I'll let you gracelessly deflect and bow out now.