Punishment in Schools

[Flyndaran]

Yet you expect others to make things easier for you? Why should they?

Because it would make things easier for her... oh wait circular reasoning.

[the_std]

I don't understand where you get the idea I'm blaming others for the way I am. I simply was BORN different. It wasn't the fault of anyone. I simply don't feel I should have to apologize for being different. Or trying to go out of my way to make my differences easier for others. I'm sorry if that irks you.

You're missing the point here.

Going out of your way to make your differences easier for others would in turn make them easier for you. Learning to deal with who you are in relation to this whole big damn world, instead of saying "no one else understands because I'm different" would make it easier for you, because it would change how these people interact with you.

I've done the exact same thing. I hated the world when I was first diagnosed with my disorders because they couldn't understand what they were doing to me. One of my disorders is an anxiety disorder, and it meant, at the time, that even walking into my high school was so scary that I threw up every single morning. I hated my parents for making me to go to school and having to feel these feelings. I hated the teachers who would ask me why I looked so haggard, making me the focus of attention and triggering these feelings again. But guess what? That made it worse. Hating everyone for not understanding me made my anxiety blow up completely, and it was getting to the point where I was either going to stop going to school completely, or kill myself.

Then, one morning I woke up with the realization that, hey, my anxiety was coming from a chemical imbalance in my brain. Nothing anyone else was doing was causing this feeling. It was in me, coming from me. How could I expect anyone else to understand and make the world easier for me, if they weren't me, if they weren't a part of this feeling? From that day on, I took steps to reduce my anxiety by changing the way I dealt with situations. Through therapy, medication and a lot of of self-study, I found a way to minimize these feelings, all without blaming the world. It's not their fault I was born the way I am now. My life is now easier because I took responsibility for something that is a part of me, and is no one else's fault. I could have continued saying "no one else understands me", and I would probably be a shut-in by now if I had. But I didn't.

In summary: your problems might not be your own fault, but it's no one else's fault either. If you can't deal with yourself, why should anyone else be made to deal with you?

[violetyoshi]

Yet you expect others to make things easier for you? Why should they?

I guess cause I'm ignorant enough to believe people share concern for their fellow human beings, and would do whatever they can to help others.

[Pedersen]

I guess cause I'm ignorant enough to believe people share concern for their fellow human beings, and would do whatever they can to help others.

And yet, with the way you talk, you do not try to reciprocate the same. Interesting.

[violetyoshi]

And yet, with the way you talk, you do not try to reciprocate the same. Interesting.

You mean I'm not making enough of an issue out of other people's problems?

[Pedersen]

You mean I'm not making enough of an issue out of other people's problems?

*chuckle* No, my dear. It's quite alright, I understand that my references can be quite difficult to grasp, even for normals.

No, you mentioned how you expect your fellow human being to care and try to make things easier for other fellow humans. However, instead of trying to make it easier for them to deal with you (as any caring human being would do), you expect them to make your life easier.

That sort of double standard is what I find interesting.

[violetyoshi]

*chuckle* No, my dear. It's quite alright, I understand that my references can be quite difficult to grasp, even for normals.

No, you mentioned how you expect your fellow human being to care and try to make things easier for other fellow humans. However, instead of trying to make it easier for them to deal with you (as any caring human being would do), you expect them to make your life easier.

That sort of double standard is what I find interesting.

Um, I try my best. I just can't change my Hyperacusis, or my Asperger's Syndrome. I wish I could be less of a problem for people, I'm sorry.

[Pedersen]

Um, I try my best.

You do? This is the first time you've mentioned it that I can remember. Every other post has been railing about how the world treats you horribly, and how the world needs to change to accommodate you.

I can't find the post right now, but I recall when someone mentioned that you needed to actually try to make an effort to get along with people around you that you simply blew up. Instead of saying something similar to "I try my best" your reply amounted to "Hell no! I've got a problem, and everybody else around me needs to accommodate me!"

Perhaps you should try focusing some effort on showing us how you try? I can guarantee more sympathy.

Or, you can continue to bitch and moan about we all just don't understand, and we can all sit here, read your posts, and shake our heads sadly as we wish we could help, or commiserate, or something. Instead, we're told to go to hell and accommodate you.

I'll do just that: I'll flat out walk away from dealing with your and your ilk in real life. I've neither time nor desire to deal with people who want to tell me I'm an asshole for not understanding them. You want to teach me? I'll listen. You want to be rude? Buh-bye. Got more pleasant things to do than that, like go chew on tinfoil.

[the_std]

In summary: your problems might not be your own fault, but it's no one else's fault either. If you can't deal with yourself, why should anyone else be made to deal with you?

Looks like I have to quote myself. Why should other people take any interest in helping you, in making your life easier, when you won't do it for yourself? I'd like to see a response to some of the points I've made, as they're still valid.

[violetyoshi]

I apologized, what more do you want me to do?

[the_std]

I wasn't looking for an apology, I was looking for a debate. You defending your points of view, bringing up new evidence of them, topics of discussion, that sort of thing.

Isn't that what we're here for?

[violetyoshi]

I wasn't looking for an apology, I was looking for a debate. You defending your points of view, bringing up new evidence of them, topics of discussion, that sort of thing.

Isn't that what we're here for?

Well when I did that people told me to not be so self-absorbed, and stop complaining. Now you want me to start that again?

[the_std]

I'm sorry you feel that was what we were saying, but we were, in fact, debating. You feel that yours was the right way for your to deal with it, we feel that a different way is more effective, and we go back and forth debating why each is so. If you feel you're under attack, maybe a debate whose topic is so close to home might not be suited for you. I hope you know that I, for one, wasn't intending to attack you. I just enjoy a good debate.

[violetyoshi]

I'm sorry you feel that was what we were saying, but we were, in fact, debating. You feel that yours was the right way for your to deal with it, we feel that a different way is more effective, and we go back and forth debating why each is so. If you feel you're under attack, maybe a debate whose topic is so close to home might not be suited for you. I hope you know that I, for one, wasn't intending to attack you. I just enjoy a good debate.

Maybe the problem is people don't understand that having Asperger's Syndrome is a personal issue. That it can't be cured, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Flyndaran]

Maybe the problem is people don't understand that having Asperger's Syndrome is a personal issue. That it can't be cured, and there's nothing wrong with that.

You could say the same about so many things. I'm fat and it's a personal issue and unlikely to be cured. I'm severely anxious all the time; personal, can't be cured. I'm nearsighted; personal, can't be cured without surgery that I'm unwilling to have.
I think we all understand that. There's far less venom than you seem to think.