Couples getting married without communicating?

[violetyoshi]

If your so immature you can't even bring up the issue of who takes the garbage out, you shouldn't get married. These people need some growing up to do first.

[the_std]

If your so immature you can't even bring up the issue of who takes the garbage out, you shouldn't get married.

But it's not necessarily a maturity concern. In lots of cases, people come from different backgrounds where things are just expected. On occasion, it doesn't actually occur to someone that it could be a different way to their partner, or room-mate, or whatever. I, for instance, never thought about buying toilet paper until I moved out on my own the first time. It was always something that was just there. It never occurred to me that I might actually have to buy it. But I realized it and learned from it. Sometimes, all someone needs is to have it pointed out to them and then they don't mind changing the way they do things.

[Slytovhand]

Firstly, Anriana - got it as soon as I read it!

Everyone replying to Anriana's post....

I'm really not trying to offend anyone or anything here,

(my emphasis)

Made even more poignant, because the thread is about communcation.... (Or lack thereof... not that we're married or anything...)


About the OP... yes, a lot of people need some form of counselling.. but not about 'garbage' - although, if it's youngsters getting married, I suppose that needs to get mentioned as well! Perhaps that came up because some people weren't able to think things for themselves??

But there are a lot of other huge questions and issues that need to be covered as well.. hopefully they were focussed on???

[anriana]

Firstly, Anriana - got it as soon as I read it!

Everyone replying to Anriana's post.... (my emphasis)

Made even more poignant, because the thread is about communcation.... (Or lack thereof... not that we're married or anything...)

I am offended that you got it.


This is a topic where I almost agree with the more conservative points of view (god that hurts). Catholic churches require pre-marriage counseling and evangelical xtians are starting up something called "covenant marriages" that require counseling beforehand and make it harder to get divorced (don't agree with that part). I don't really get the point of being legally, religiously, and societally joined if you're not going to actually try to do a good job of being joined.

[guywithashovel]

Firstly, Anriana - got it as soon as I read it!

Not sure if anyone's going to believe me or not, but I pretty much figured that was what she was referring to as well. I didn't say anything because the mods seemed to want everyone to drop it.

[Flyndaran]

The problem is that few regularly discuss their assumptions. They just assume they are on the same page when proposing marriage.

[Slytovhand]

Sounds like, Flyn, that people tend to live in their own little world, and because someone else has stepped into it, they figure that that person is just another part of their own little world.


Anriana - I take offence at your being offended! And you too, Guy!

[BroomJockey]

Anriana - I take offence at your being offended! And you too, Guy!

No. Seriously. Can we drop the offended and actually talk about the thread.

Note the lack of question mark.