Should managers kick parents of screaming children out of their store?

[MaggieTheCat]

A couple of threads over on CS brought this issue up in my mind. If there are screaming babies/young children in a restaurant or any kind of store, should managers throw the parents out if they refuse to try and quiet the kids down? or even if they DO try to quiet the kids down, but are unsuccessful?

There was one thread on CS...I don't remember which one it was, but it was fairly recent...where the OP was working in a restaurant and a table demanded that management throw another nearby table out because the kids were noisy/bratty/whatever. The OP and his/her manager refused, because kids (especially babies, as I think was the case) will sometimes scream and cry and sometimes there's not much to be done.

Blas had a thread today under Sightings where the opposite was brought up (quick backstory, she was grocery shopping and two kids were screaming the whole time she was in the store and the mom didn't attempt to quiet them):

I shared this story with some coworkers last night, and a few of them said that they will up and leave a store, no matter what they were intending to buy, if there are screaming, wailing, out of control children not being told to be quiet or worse, the parents are ignoring them or worst of all, encouraging it.

The way they figure, if management treasures sucky parents like that more than customers who come in to be quiet and shop, that place doesn't need their business.

I do note that she said, if the parents weren't trying to quiet the children...so, should managers be expected to watch all the families that come in, and if the kids start crying and the parents try to calm them but fail, it's okay, but if the parents DON'T try to calm them, they should be kicked out?

What do you guys think?

[AFPheonix]

I'm wondering why a parent would let their infant who is obviously in distress just sit there, in distress.
Either something is wrong, or the baby is tired or sick, etc. Get it somewhere where it is more comfortable.
I maybe could understand an older child having a tantrum, but even then, removing them from the situation is still a better move than letting them sit there.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Also, why bring a pile of toddlers to a restaurant anyway? If you can't get a babysitter, then either stay home and get takeout, or go to a child oriantated restaurant that will be better suited for you and your family.

I've been in a posh restaurant with my boyf, trying to have a nice dinner out, with a screeching, wailing child next to us who we got chucked out along with its mother. Why would we do something so mean? Well, I personally didn't see why my boyf's birthday dinner should be ruined by some stupid mother who chose to take a flipping toddler to a swanky restaurant.

As far as I'm concerned, either quiet the child or leave and get a doggy bag. Better yet, leave the kids at home in the first place or put off going out to places til the child is either old enough to learn how to behave in public, or you've gotten a babysitter. I know my viewpoint seems harsh, but honestly, a lot of the time people now expect every single place to cater for children when a lot of places just aren't meant for them. On the other hand, if I go to a restaurant and see well behaved and quiet children sitting there, that's fine. I won't grudge them being there. I was at the pub one night and this mother had brought two little boys there. They were perfectly well behaved; so much in fact, that I gave them a pound to have a game of pool. They all left around 9pm with no problems.

[powerboy]

If the parents are not able to quite the kids or are not doing anything about it. Then yes, they should be kicked out. If you are not going to stop them, then leave them with someone, while you are out shopping. If you are unable to stop them, then leave and come back later. Not everyone wants to hear children screaming and crying. I for one, cannot stand it when it keeps going on.

[MaggieTheCat]

I do like the idea of "zero tolerance" in places like fancy restaurants and movie theaters. If kids are gonna interrupt other people who are trying to have a nice evening out then they should go. However, in places like grocery stores or Wal-Mart I don't think it's a big deal. Yes, it's annoying. But parents shouldn't have to get a babysitter every time they want to step out of the house. It's just grocery shopping (or whatever.) And, I believe Rummy has said, that sometimes kids will just go ballistic and have a complete meltdown, sometimes for no apparent reason, and there's not much the parents can do about it. Should the parents abandon an hour's worth of shopping to leave the store? Maybe, if it's really serious. If the kid is really sick or seriously distressed something, then yes. But parents aren't perfect and even the most well-behaved child is going to have a moment, sometimes when least expected.

[Mr Slugger]

I pretty much agree with Maggie. In a good restaurant I think they should kick them out. If you're going to friendly's then you should expect screaming kids. But out at mall, store or something like that they shouldn't kick them out.

[guywithashovel]

If it's a posh restaurant, then yes, I think the parents should leave if their kids are being loud and fussy. Those places are typically designed to be "adult atmospheres," anyway. Though if it's a grocery store, then I don't think they should have to. Screaming kid or not, you still need to have groceries for the week.

Also, I think some "kid antics" can be tolerated in restaurants such as McD's, Denny's, and other such places (keep in mind I said "some"). If the kid's having a compelte meltdown, then the parent should probably just pack it up and leave. But I think the usual antics that you usually get from kids can be tolerated there to some extent.

[violetyoshi]

I think if the parent does nothing about it, yes they should be kicked out, and explained to that when in public you at least make an attempt to quiet your child. If they're trying to shush it, well it shows effort at the very least.

I don't know what else would work, other than signs saying "If your child is screaming and crying take them to the restroom or outside." It seems parents are so self-involved, or the mothers seemingly brain damaged from giving birth, that they need someone to treat them like they are children. Since that is the level of thinking they are at.

[IDrinkaRum]

My daughter will scream and cry but then again, it's probably because something has set her off. (A cell phone rang, a random person, too much noise, etc.)

We have a bag of tricks that we take with us when we go out. It's got books, coloring books, crayons, stickers, a stuffie or two. One of 2 Leapsters.

We still get dirty looks at like Red Lobster or Macaroni Grill when we bring our child. (And that's before she opens her mouth).

I'm not saying all children who are having meltdowns are Autistic. However, keep in mind: When a child's having a metldown due to Autism, it's very hard to calm them down.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Still, the parent should know that, and plan accordingly. If your child always has a meltdown when you take them to the cinema, then don't go. Or only go to "mother and child" matinees where the behaviour will be expected and tolerated.

[boringscreenname]

Well I have an 11 and a half month old son. For the most part he's pretty laid back and easy going and behaves fine in public. But there have been times in the grocery store, he's gotten bored, tired or hungry and starts crying and 99%of the time distracting him works. But when he's crying while we're at the check out lane unloading groceries onto the belt, trying to get out coupons, and pay the cashier, and load our cart that he's just going to have to cry for a few minutes.

Like someone else mentioned you don't know what's going to set a kid off either. For instance one time we were at Starbucks, we've been there countless times with him before, never been a problem. Well on this day they had to run the blender which caused him to start crying hysterically. He's heard the blender hundreds of times before, so who knows why it scared him that time and it's never bothered him since.

So in a grocery store, retail store or a mall or someplace like that I don't believe parents with crying kids should be kicked out. Yes it's annoying, but usually it's easy to get away from or drown it out.

[guywithashovel]

In all honesty, I think that if people are going to go out in public, they should learn to tolerate some annoyances from other people. This includes tolerating fussy children. I'll admit to getting secretly irked at some people when I go to malls, stores, and other places. However, I also realize that the world doesn't revolve around me. This is why I don't associate with the "Childree" and "Childless by Choice" communities, even though I am childless and will most likely stay that way my whole life. Many people in those groups seem to think that parents are supposed to hide their kids in the attic until they turn eighteen.

[AdminAssistant]

Whenever I've done or seen any kind of 'Theatre for Youth' production, there's always an announcement that, "if your baby starts to cry, take them out to the lobby". You can guess how often that happens. That's always irritated me, because live theatre doesn't have the benefit of speakers THIS LOUD like movies do. So, a squawling child can and does ruin the show for everyone else in the audience. Of course, we do this at the same time as the "shut off the cell phones" announcement that doesn't do any good either.

When I'm going out with my friends, I will and have asked for a table away from children. Why? 1) I don't generally like children and 2) I've got a bit of a potty mouth sometimes, especially if I'm going to be having a drink or two. I don't want to have to censor myself, so...keeping me away from the kiddies is a good thing for everyone.

Parents should make every best effort to keep their kids in check. In a grocery store, in a fast food chain, or in other child-friendly places, I will happily tolerate baby babble and the otherwise loudness of children. But ear-splitting screams...I'm not going to be happy with that wherever I am. Whatever you're doing, stop, and shut it up. Stick a paci in its mouth, give it a piece of candy, I don't care.

Fine dining establishments, opera, theatre not designed for children - leave them at home. That's part of being a parent. When Big Sis and BIL want to have a nice dinner, they send Monster to spent the night with grandparents. Do they get to go out a lot? No. But that's part of what you sign up for when you have a child.

[Boozy]

In all honesty, I think that if people are going to go out in public, they should learn to tolerate some annoyances from other people.

I agree with this 100%. Children are people too, and it's important that they get out and become socialized. It's also important that we not restrict the freedom of parents to an unreasonable degree. Raising the next generation of citizens is an important job, and parents shouldn't be punished for it.

But (and this is a big "but"): There are places where children just don't belong. And I don't mean just strip clubs and R-rated movies. I mean fancy restaurants, upscale boutiques with breakable goods, and other public places where a child can't be reasonably expected to behave appropriately. My sister doesn't take her toddler to five-star restaurants, not just out of respect for the proprietors and patrons, but also because forcing her son to sit still and be quiet for very long is cruel and unusual for someone his age.

But McDonald's? Sure, she'll take him. She doesn't allow him to run around or disturb others, but if he raises his voice or dances around his own table a bit, it's okay. No one expects a peaceful and romantic meal at a fast-food joint.

[IDrinkaRum]

I know my daughter can't sit still during a movie so I take her to the sensory friendly films where it's expected that the children will run around.

I also do not take my daughter to Red Robin restaurants. No matter which one we go to, she fusses so Red Robin is out. (At first we thought it was just something about the employees at the local one, but no, it's not).

But there are tmes when I need to go out, I have to take Child Rum, and if a cell phone goes off, or there's an employee using a vacuum cleaner or one of those large floor washing machines, and she just goes off and I have to soothe her. It seems to take forever, especially with the people who just glare, but really ... there's not much I can do at the point, but take her away from the situation and calm her and hope she stays calm.