Man refuses to pay child support for prostitute's child

[Boozy]

It should be a mutual decision and not just hers. If so damn much of responsibility is his then he should have just as much say about how his sperm is used.

If he was so concerned about how his sperm was being used, he should have kept it to himself. He could have left it in a condom. Instead, he left it inside a prostitute.

He made his decision.

[Peppergirl]

Jackass.

Ain't karma a bitch?

[DrFaroohk]

That's why we have coathangers.

[Peppergirl]

That's why we have coathangers.

- Damn, where's the popcorn icon over here.

[Nyoibo]

For breaking the law, the brothel should also be fined. It's beyond me how you enforce the use of condoms
<snip>
Do the legal brothels have some kind of workman's comp that pays for pregnancies of failed birth control?

That guy's a scumbag, regardless.

I'd say fine the prostitute not the brothel, it would have been a private thing.

They do have workcover, but whether it covers pregnancy I don't know.

And why is everyone saying this guys a scumbag all the time, just because he visited a hooker?

[Slytovhand]

Thanks Nyoibo, I was thinking about that today.

In some forums and threads, people would be all for treating prositutes as normal human beings worthy of respect. In this thread, it's getting attacked and ridiculed... She's still a human being! And so is he. If you are forced to accept what she does for a living, then by extension, you've also got to show respect to those who use her services... that's pretty logical, isn't it?? (presuming, of course, that she's actually there of her own free will, and not coerced).

What I'm a bit surprised about is that, as a prostitute, she'd actually carry a child to term... in her line of work, how was she going to know who the father was to take that sort of chance? It could have been any of X amount of guys. Being in that profession, pregnancy is really a pretty silly thing to have happen!

[Rapscallion]

What I'm a bit surprised about is that, as a prostitute, she'd actually carry a child to term... in her line of work, how was she going to know who the father was to take that sort of chance? It could have been any of X amount of guys. Being in that profession, pregnancy is really a pretty silly thing to have happen!

Depends where she was in her career. You're generally not going to stay in that job for much past the age of thirty-five (at a guess), so maybe she was feeling broody and wanted a child and a line of financial support, or maybe she's just anti-abortion. I don't know the full situation, since the link provided is very sketchy, but I do see that he was already paying support and just cut it due to a cut in his income.

I'm assuming that the one hundred per week wasn't really a living income, since I've no experience of New Zealand income rates.

Rapscallion

[Slytovhand]

I've got no real idea of New Zealand's income rates either, but I know they're lower than Australias... what does that have to do with this issue? How did NZ enter this discussion???

[Nyoibo]

I think Raps got confused with geographical locations.

[Rapscallion]

The fact that I got the country next door is a minor miracle.

Rapscallion

[BlaqueKatt]

And why is everyone saying this guys a scumbag all the time, just because he visited a hooker?

um no he's a scumbag because he cheated on his wife, and a scumbag because he thinks he shouldn't have to pay support.

If this wasn't a woman he paid for sex but merely a "girlfriend/mistress" he'd still be a scumbag. The woman's occupation does not enter into the scumbag equation at all.

then by extension, you've also got to show respect to those who use her services... that's pretty logical, isn't it??

not when the person using her services is cheating on his or her spouse-I have no respect for that. No issue with the career path this woman has-it's legal and it's her decision. If it was legal and regulated everywhere it would be safer for everyone involved.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

This guy had sex with a woman, and she got pregnant. No other information is relevent; he's the father, and he has to support his child.

This is dead on right. Nothing else really matters. I mean, what, his mother's profession takes away that child's right to be cared for?

I also find it pretty amusing that Dickhead Dad is all of a sudden all interested in honoring his "contract" to the letter. Especially in light of the fact that he's been wiping his ass with the one he made with his own wife.

[DrFaroohk]

I don't have any sympathy for guys who can't be bothered to take care of their own birth control situation and then cry when they end up pregnant.

How about sympathy for women who deliberately deceives a man into thinking there will be no children and then cry when he doesn't want anything to do with the child?

It happens that women are not always honest about such things. It also happens that no birth control is 100 percent effective.

Then maybe if the dishonest women stopped being such damn liars and thinking about someone other than themselves there might not be so many fatherless, unsupported children.

There's more to personal responsibility than "he should have worn a condom!" So far everyone's attitude has been this: "It takes 2 to make a baby. The woman has to show up, but the man it responsible for 110% of everything else!"

I've heard every excuse in the book. "How can a woman be expected to say no when there's a big heavy man on top of her!?" or "She didn't know any better! HE HAD A GOOD LINE!!!11!1!!!11!!" Well how can a man be expected to say no when there's this fine piece of ass just begging him for some dick? He didn't know any better! She had huge breasts!

If it was so important to him that he not pay child support, maybe he shouldn't have ridden bareback on a broad that was not his wife.

And if it was so important for this woman to make sure she had a man to support her child, she should have been more careful and actually chosen a man who wanted to be involved instead of just trapping some guy who was paying her for sex. Life is full of difficult decisions, and one of them is sometimes "Should I have this baby or not?"

So, according to you Dr Fahrook, is that because people don't agree to have kids, that means that the child should not be supported by both parties?

I'm saying people shouldn't be having children if its not an agreed upon situation. It's not fair for one person to just decide it's going to happen and then dump all the responsibility on another. It's not fair to either one of the parents and it's ESPECIALLY not fair to the child. There are many many ways to avoid getting pregnant, and even after you're pregnant there are things that can be done about it. Once again, life is full of difficult decisions. "Should I just go ahead with the procedure, or should I have this unwanted baby that will never know his father and never be properly supported because I made a selfish decision and decided to bring a life into a world that wasn't ready for it?" A message to all women like this prostitute: It's not all about you.

Then teen dads shouldn't have to pay child support.

Wow, that's harsh. Obviously, a child born from a mature, responsible woman who consulted her partner about this major life decision should be supported.

A woman is raped and ends up pregnant, the rapist shouldn't pay child support.

Apples to oranges. Completely different situation.

That is awfully harsh not only on this mother who now has to raise this child alone, but on the child also.

Guess we should have thought that before carrying the baby to term, shouldn't we?

Both people agreed to have sex. Sex comes with consequences, children being one of them. Both parties are now responsible.

Except that humans have sex for other reasons than reproduction. Those of us that know what we're doing also have it for pleasure. Unless you've had a really serious discussion with your partner about how you both are ready to procreate and bring another child into this world, it needs to be understood that it is a pleasure only experience.

If he was so concerned about how his sperm was being used, he should have kept it to himself. He could have left it in a condom. Instead, he left it inside a prostitute.

Not to sound like a broken record, but if she was so concerned with making sure her child was supported she should have been more careful too. She could have left his sperm in her mouth, instead she left it in her vagina. She made her decision.

If this wasn't a woman he paid for sex but merely a "girlfriend/mistress" he'd still be a scumbag. The woman's occupation does not enter into the scumbag equation at all.

It has at least as much to do with the equation as his scumbag status.

I also find it pretty amusing that Dickhead Dad is all of a sudden all interested in honoring his "contract" to the letter. Especially in light of the fact that he's been wiping his ass with the one he made with his own wife.

Again it really has nothing to do with anything. If he was living in Utah married to 6 women it wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter if it wife has AIDS or cancer or genital herpes. All that matters is he made an agreement to have sex for pleasure. I don't see any other relevence to anyone's personal status.

The woman got pregnant from a man who made it clear he did not want any children produced from this act, and the woman agreed to this. She got pregnant and chose to carry this child to term even though she knew the father was in no way interested in supporting or raising said child. You want to talk about an irresponsible, dirtbag thing to do? I hardly think dipping his wick behind his wife's back even compares to that.

[McDreidel09]

Dr Fahrook, it seems that you are placing all of the blame on the woman. As you said, it takes two to tango. I can spread my legs, but it takes a penis to make me pregnant.

And as for the teen dad comment, I was saying it as I think you are saying it. If a baby is not part of the agreement, then it shouldn't be supported, is what you are saying.

Which is really not fair at all to the child. It is not the child's fault that his parents didn't take precautions when they really didn't plan them. So you would be willing to condemn the child to a life of hardship because of their parents' actions. Nice to know that I shouldn't have been fully supported. That I shouldn't have been cared for because my conception wasn't part of an agreement.

Not all women lie. You seem to paint us all with the same brush. That's not fair at all.

And it doesn't really matter what precautions you take. You can have a condom and be on birth control and still there is somewhat of a chance. Sex is pleasurable, but it doesn't mean it doesn't have its consequences. When you have sex with someone, you take a chance at what could happen.

And you say "They shouldn't have carried it to full term." as if abortion is an option for everyone and it's not. I certainly would not get an abortion. To me, it's not an option.

I'm sensing some contempt from you. I really am.

[SteverinoNY!]

Dr Fahrook,

I'm with McDreidel on this one...the guy isn't being much of a man by not stepping up and taking care of his children, regardless of how they were conceived. And he also is not being very truthful to his wedding vows of "in sickness or in health" by screwing around on the side while his wife is ill. The man needs to step up and pay his child support. The purpose of support isn't to benefit the mother, but rather the child. It makes sure the little one has food, diapers, and a roof over his or her head. Sure the mother gets some benefit, but it isn't the same as if the man were there living with her and raising the child as his own.

My apologies, but you are wrong sir. He should pony up and support his child and deal with his mistake as a man.