Mother told off by stranger for disclipining her child

[Lace Neil Singer]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ion-brats.html

This nosy parker told a mother that her daughter would end up in therapy from being told off. Seems as tho someone needs to mind their own bloody business.

[IDrinkaRum]

I've done a similar trick that the mom in the article with her 3-year-old.

I've told child rum that if she doesn't do X (i.e., like come back to mommy 'cos mommy is calling her, or she needs to stop whatever destructive behavior she is doing), I'll either take her favorite toy away or something like that. Works about 90% of the time. (Sometimes she's just stubborn and won't stop what she's doing for no one).

How much you want to bed that those other moms in the article are the ones who are having complete strangers smack their children?

Yeah .. .I don't think disciplining a child is bad.

But for the entire playground to go silent and everyone glare? A bit over-reaction on the parts of the other mothers. Do those other mothers say "Come on sweetie. Please come to Mummy? Oh, no, you don't want to go over there! It's .. it's messy and you might get dirty. Oh dear! Oh dear! Why won't you pay attention to what I say!?"

I say: "Yo! Child Rum! Get your tookus over here right now, or your *insert favorite toy of the month here* is mine!"

Yeah ... I can tell you which one works better.

[powerboy]

Yeah but Rum, just because your methods works for you. Doesn't me that they are going to work for others. To each their own, I say

[Flyndaran]

I agree that that particular person's comment, if fully accurate, was absurd. We only have one side of it. Is all criticism out of line?
Should it only be a binary issue of alert the authorities abuse or not say a word?

Is this only an issue of what was said, free speech, or is it an issue of overreactions, something we all do at least once in our lives?

[MaggieTheCat]

Yeah but Rum, just because your methods works for you. Doesn't me that they are going to work for others. To each their own, I say

I agree. However, I think the line needs to be drawn there. The other mothers in the article were overstepping that line by telling the author that her way of disciplining her child was wrong. Who are they to say that the author's way is wrong, any more for Rum to say that her way is right?

[kibbles]

To be fair to the strangers mentioned in the article, I believe there is a world of difference in taking away a child's favorite toy and destroying/threatening to destroy it. It may be an unpopular opinion; but, I believe destroying or threatening to destroy something is a bit on the cruel side.

JMO.

[Lace Neil Singer]

In my experience, reasoning with a toddler is like teaching a pig to sing. You don't succeed in doing anything, save annoying the pig and making yourself look ridiculous. In any case, I don't see how "get off the swing or I'll pop the balloon" is cruel whereas "behave or else you don't get dessert" or "come in at 11 or you're grounded" is not. I doubt many three year olds' brains have developed enough to understand negociation or reasoning.

In any case, the softly softly parenting method irritates me to death. Nothing is more annoying than seeing some brat rampaging around a store while the parents bleat, "Susie dear, don't do that, please be quiet, please stop strangling that puppy" over and over again. -.-

[IDrinkaRum]

I do not believe in the "coddling" approach to child rearing. That doesn't mean I apply "the rod" liberally", I don't at all.

However, I know I'm not going to get anywhere if I tell Child Rum "Don't do that, please, pretty please with sugar on top." Child Rum is the type of child who is in the here and now. I can't tell her she's not going to get supper (which could be as little as 30 minutes away or 4 hours away) if she doesn't/do something. However, if I tell her that she has to give up something she likes right now, and she watches me lock it up? Yeah, you bet your britches she's going to start behaving in a New York second.

I'm not saying I'm going to write a book titled "OMG! Actually disciplining your kids is good for them and you too!" and make people follow me religiously. However, I'm saying some sort of structure is needed in the child's world no matter who you are.

[Boozy]

The headline of this piece: "I was told off by a stranger for disciplining my child... no wonder we're in danger of producing a generation of brats."

That's quite a leap. We might as well rephrase and say, "Some random person said something nutty. From this we can draw sweeping sociological conclusions."

[Lace Neil Singer]

Er, that headline has little or nothing to do with the article; just ignore it. That's just how the Daily Mail always seem to headline articles so please just concentrate on the article and the issue at hand, please.

I read the Sun rather than the Mail, but people tend not to take the Sun seriously as a source. -.-

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Ha. I'd would love to see an Onion style "point-counterpoint" type set of articles. The second would be "I told a nosy idiot to fuck off on the playground today."

This right here is why so many people hate kids...they hate them because so many of them are brats. And so many of them are brats because so many idiots out there are afraid to discipline their kids and think reasoning with toddlers is effective.

I'm glad the writer of the article didn't stoop to arguing with idiots. That's about as effective as wrestling a pig...or reasoning with toddlers.

[Rapscallion]

A customer of mine had five children. Very sensible person. She told us about how she had to go to three different schools to pick them up on an evening, since they were of somewhat different ages.

One of the other parents objected to how she got one of the youngest into the child seat - using a knee to hold the reluctant child down. This was the sort of parent who had only one child and had all the time in the world to say, "Don't do that Francesca. Mummy will be very annoyed if you do. I said not to do that, Francesca," sort of thing.

As Mrs J told them, she had children at other schools to collect, a limited amount of time, and there was no way she was going to ride around with her child as a pinball in the back or leaving other children unattended at the gates of other schools. The invitation was open for the coddling parent to give a method of getting said child into the seat quickly. It wasn't taken up.

Rapscallion

[tropicsgoddess]

In any case, the softly softly parenting method irritates me to death. Nothing is more annoying than seeing some brat rampaging around a store while the parents bleat, "Susie dear, don't do that, please be quiet, please stop strangling that puppy" over and over again. -.-

Ugh, I can't stand that crap. That kind of parenting or lack there of creates more bratty children. The balloon popping thing worked and if the other parents don't like it, they can sod off. Unless the kid has bruises, welts or anything seriously wrong with them, it's none of their business!

[suchislife2]

try the childcare profession.

there is no such thing as "no" or "don't" or "can't"

You must explain why the child shouldn't do something and offer an alternative.

i.e. "Don't throw those pine cones from the play equipment it'll hurt someone!"
What you have to say instead " Throwing things is a lot of fun isn't it? How about you throw those bean bags or ping-pong balls instead as the pine cones are a little too hard to throw from hights"

[Lace Neil Singer]

If I were the child, I wouldn't take a blind bit of notice of that; after all, bean bags won't hurt people if I threw them! O_o

Very small children can't be reasoned with, as their brains haven't developed enough to understand it. They just care about "now" and "me". Saying, "Don't hit Johnny, you'll hurt him very much cuz he's much littler than you" won't be nearly as effective as, "If you don't stop hitting your brother, I'll take away your toy".