non-spanking punishments that can be more harmful?

[Rageaholic]

Making her stand on one leg? That's just wierd! Typical of super religious parents to come up with the strangest punishments.

Personally, I think spanking is perfectly fair. I was spanked as a kid when I did something bad and turned out alright (at least I think I did. ). To me it's not so much the punishment (as long as it doesn't involve serious bodily harm or death), it's what your being punished for. My parents were fair and understanding when dealing out punishments. No cursing, no back talking, no hitting my brother, and that kind of stuff. However, I've had some friends who's parents set the bar too high. They would expect perfect, exceptional kids. If they were to leave a candy bar wrapper on the floor, they would be sent up to their room or spanked. In other words, there was no room for even the slightest error.

It was similar to how it was like at school for me. I was written up for walking in class a second late. I could only imagine what it would be like living with that kind of authority 24/7. When the bar is set that high, the stress it causes can be overwhelming, no matter what the punishment is.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Which furthers my view that parents who spank, are taking the lazy way out of raising their child.

Hardly. Making a child stand in the corner on one leg is lazy, to my mind. You are not explaining to the child why they are being punished.

I understand tho that seeing as you are rigid in your views you won't be shaken from them, but giving a child a neat swat is NOT going to turn them into a psychopath. Lumping smacking in with physical abuse is like prolifers insisting that abortion is murder.

[violetyoshi]

Hardly. Making a child stand in the corner on one leg is lazy, to my mind. You are not explaining to the child why they are being punished.

I understand tho that seeing as you are rigid in your views you won't be shaken from them, but giving a child a neat swat is NOT going to turn them into a psychopath. Lumping smacking in with physical abuse is like prolifers insisting that abortion is murder.

I guess you've failed to notice, that when parents spank children, they tend not to explain why they're being punished as well. Both are examples of parenting, where instead of teaching the child a lesson, they are teaching the child fear.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I guess you've failed to notice that your opinion isn't the only one that matters. When my parents smacked me, they always explained. Hitting out in anger, once again, is NOT THE SAME AS SMACKING.

[Racket_Man]

my Mother (now 92) told me about one punnishment she got as a child (uber strict old country type parents where FATHER ruled the roost with an iron fist)

they had to KNEEL with a ridgid straight as a flagpole back in the corner on a wood floor that was sprinkled with rice. could not touch the walls or lean in or out or to the side. imagine how painful that was

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I guess you've failed to notice, that when parents spank children, they tend not to explain why they're being punished as well. .

Really? They do?

You mean to tell me that you have spies in the homes of people across the globe, and you are actually seeing what parents "tend" to do?

Or are you citing some compelling statistical paper published in a reliable medical journal?

Fascinating. See, I failed to notice that, too. But I was thinking that was because I was not privy to what other parents do to discipline their kids.

[Flyndaran]

Really? They do?

You mean to tell me that you have spies in the homes of people across the globe, and you are actually seeing what parents "tend" to do?

Or are you citing some compelling statistical paper published in a reliable medical journal?

Fascinating. See, I failed to notice that, too. But I was thinking that was because I was not privy to what other parents do to discipline their kids.

It seems like you and others claim to go with the majority when it's in your favor, but not when someone criticizes you?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Hey, I'm just curious who these rampaging hoards of bad parents are and how Violetyoshi knows what they do when they discipline their kids. I want to know where the hidden camera in my house is so I can throw a sock over it or something.

In fact, I don't know what the parents I hang out with actually are doing when they are disciplining their kids, so I'm just curious how she is making this broad comment about what parents who spank their kids are doing or not doing. I am willing to bet money she doesn't hang out with a lot of parents, since she clearly has so much open contempt for all of them. But I do, see, and even I am not privy to this info.

Especially since our failure to know this information is somehow a grievious oversight on our part.

I'm just horrified at my own cluelessness, is all. Well, that and the fact that there is a secret spanking camera somewhere in my house that at some point has probably recorded two middle age people screwing. That's probably worse than it recording the conversations I do or don't have with my kid. But I guess that is a matter of opinion, based on what you're into.

[Ree]

Nope. I could pick up mt head on the day I was born. This might in part be due to the fact that I gestated for almost 10 months.

Hmmm...me too. I was due Oct 25 and was born on Nov 25, but I don't recall my mother telling me of my standing in my crib at 8 weeks, nor do I have vivid memories of thought processes at that age.

I'm sorry...I guess you would never exaggerate for the sake of a story, but I suspect it ain't just my sore throat that's making this one hard to swallow.

(My Mom went 10 months with all her babies, except for the twins. They were born at 9 months. Her sister went 10 months with her babies, too. Back then, they didn't induce because they believed that babies come when they come.)

[Boozy]

Hey, I'm just curious who these rampaging hoards of bad parents are and how Violetyoshi knows what they do when they discipline their kids.

Mod Note:

I'm quoting this post in particular (as an example) but this applies to everyone, as I've seen this happening elsewhere:

Please make a habit of addressing your points directly to the member you are debating. Speaking of them in third person (as if they were not here) comes across as rude and snarky -- although I'm sure that is never the intent.

Common sense, please. Forum etiquette should not differ much from real-life etiquette.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Most of the time, my dad hit me. Multiple times. But sometimes, he would tell me to 'run a bath' and when I'd go into the bathroom to start filling the tub, he'd come in and push my head under the water until I stopped struggling. I quickly learned to not fight back. But I think that was worse than the smacks across the mouth or on the ass. Even at 14, I wished I'd be spanked instead of whipped, drowned, beaten repeatedly.

When disciplining my daughter, I put her in time out the first time. If she's violent, I grab her hands and tell her that hitting Mommy hurts. If she does it again, I spank her. She's learning not to be violent, and instead, when I displease her, she says 'No, no, no thank you!'


And on the RARE occasion I do spank her on the bottom, it is one deliberate but appropriately gentle smack. I don't hit her repeatedly and I always talk firmly but calmly with her when she misbehaves.

[blas87]

SIGE, that is just awful what your father did.