Double Standards in Relationships?

[Lace Neil Singer]

There are also abusive women in relationships; those go unreported cuz a lot of guys would be ashamed to admit that they were being beaten by their wife/girlf, and think they wouldn't be taken seriously. There are also abusive homosexual relationships, too.

I agree with crashhelmet about the trust issue. If you don't trust your SO then there really is no point to the relationship. In any case, if you're constantly being paranoid and accusing them of cheating, one day you'll just drive them away.

[Kalli]

I will point out that I was making comparisons, and I'm a woman. Then again, I also tell blonde jokes.

I don't follow what you're getting at here?

[jackfaire]

A woman wears jeans (before seen as traditionally a males attire, but not anymore). A man wears a dress..he is a freak or a loon.

Many years ago I was watching the news and this school had decided shorts were against the dress code. The next day every guy in school showed up wearing a skirt.

Since they couldn't outlaw skirts, girls would protest, and they couldn't say guys couldn't wear them as that would be discrimination they got their shorts back.

[Anthony K. S.]

Don't forget the best one; he's a stud, she's a slag/slut.

A female friend of mine once pointed out that this particular double standard has a counterpart that goes in the other direction :


If a man sleeps with many women :

"He's a miserable bastard who deserves to be [Insert Whatever Gruesome Fate Your Imagination Sees Fit To Dole Out] for all of the heartache he's caused all of those women he's used and taken advantage of."

If a woman sleeps with many men :

"She obviously has a severe lack of self-esteem, perhaps some very serious emotional and psychological issues. She clearly needs help, sympathy, and support."


Now, those are stereotypical conclusions, of course. I have no doubt that in many cases, they are actually true . . . but not in all cases.

And that is where the double standard lies - the fact that some people will automatically view the man's motivations negatively (a lack of moral character) and the woman's motivations sympathetically (emotional/psychological issues).

Just some food for thought . . .

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't follow what you're getting at here?

I was under the impression that you were getting antsy at men making the comparisons and I was pointing out that I was a woman and doing likewise. If that wasn't what you were doing, then sorry; it wasn't very clear.

[guywithashovel]

If a man sleeps with many women :

"He's a miserable bastard who deserves to be [Insert Whatever Gruesome Fate Your Imagination Sees Fit To Dole Out] for all of the heartache he's caused all of those women he's used and taken advantage of."

If a woman sleeps with many men :

"She obviously has a severe lack of self-esteem, perhaps some very serious emotional and psychological issues. She clearly needs help, sympathy, and support."


Now, those are stereotypical conclusions, of course. I have no doubt that in many cases, they are actually true . . . but not in all cases.

And that is where the double standard lies - the fact that some people will automatically view the man's motivations negatively (a lack of moral character) and the woman's motivations sympathetically (emotional/psychological issues).

Yeah, when things go south in relationships, men usually do bear the brunt of most of the blame, whether it's deserved or not.

[Fryk]

Many years ago I was watching the news and this school had decided shorts were against the dress code. The next day every guy in school showed up wearing a skirt.

Since they couldn't outlaw skirts, girls would protest, and they couldn't say guys couldn't wear them as that would be discrimination they got their shorts back.

This happened at my school, too. And it worked: Next school year, shorts were allowed.