Double Standards in Relationships?

[Lace Neil Singer]

If you really want to experience some of the pain that a period and/or PMS can cause, get someone to punch you in the gut several times, followed by a few kicks to the nuts. Then you can truly emphasise.

Cuz I do get snappy during that times, I want to be alone in my free time so that I don't snap at my nearest and dearest.

[Boozy]

How come I don't get three to five days each month to treat everyone like crap?

I completely disagree with your premise, and furthermore, I find it offensive.

I am not allowed to be rude and nasty when I'm suffering from PMS. Mature women excuse themselves from optional events when they are feeling cranky, or suck it up and behave respectfully when they have no other choice (like they need to work).

What you are describing is the behaviour of rude and immature women, and you are ascribing that behaviour to all women. That's a logical fallacy, and it's an offensive one.

[MaggieTheCat]

Fact is, some women are jerks and will use PMS as an excuse to act like a jerk and (try to) be justified about it. But guys can be jerks too, they just don't have PMS to use as an excuse for it. Not all women use PMS as an excuse to act this way, though.

I get a little cranky and emotional when it's that time of the month. I just asked my husband about it and he said I don't go overboard with it -- he usually doesn't even notice it's that time of the month unless I mention it to him. And I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) so for years, I would bleed uncontrollably for more than a few days a month and have horrible cramps (the debilitating kind that would leave me curled in a fetal position on the couch or bed unable to move or hardly breath. Guys, I am NOT exaggerating, it is a HORRIBLE experience.) Thankfully I am on medication now which lessens the cramps and bleeding by a lot and regulates my cycles. But even before I got the medication, I was not a jerk to people about it. I would sometimes have to skip school simply because I could not move but I didn't go out of my way to look for sympathy or cause trouble.

[gremcint]

That's because men are evil, self centred, unfaithful chauvanists who should only be kept around to open jars, heavy lifting and the occasional quickie.

I completely disagree with your premise, and furthermore, I find it offensive.

I am not allowed to be rude and nasty when I'm suffering from PMS. Mature women excuse themselves from optional events when they are feeling cranky, or suck it up and behave respectfully when they have no other choice (like they need to work).

What you are describing is the behaviour of rude and immature women, and you are ascribing that behaviour to all women. That's a logical fallacy, and it's an offensive one.

Look I was joking and I wasn't the only one making jokes, I completely understand that you guys can get a bit cranky at that time and that mature women won't take it out on those around them and that's fine even further if you are on that time then I know I should avoid annoying you as it would be the equivalent of touching a sore spot. However I have seen tons of times in real life where one does act like a bitch and then blames on their period as if that makes it ok.

I also understand there is a flipside to it as well with men dismissing your emotions and blaming them on the period rather than listening to you. Both sides are guilty of crap and both side have wonderful people. If I want an example of a good strong woman I can just look at my sister not since she was a teenager has she taken that stuff out on me.

What I should have done was put after the question.

[XCashier]

I think a more valid example would be one like the girl goes out for a "girl's night," gets trashed, and crashes at a friend's place, everyone thinks that's fine, but if the guy goes for a "guy's night" and gets trashed, and crashes at a friend's place, he's a jackass for not going back to his girlfriend that night (and that's a real example I've seen).

That is a good example.

Honestly, if my SO were to get drunk at a guy's night and crash at his friend's place, I would prefer he did that rather than try to drive home in his condition. A phone call letting me know what was going on would not be a bad idea, though.

There's lots of double standards going on. He's assertive, she's bitchy. She's sensitive, he's a wimp. He's the boss, she's a nag. It'll be a wonderful day when everyone is allowed to be themselves without having to deal with stupid labels.

[kibbles]

I think a more valid example would be one like the girl goes out for a "girl's night," gets trashed, and crashes at a friend's place, everyone thinks that's fine, but if the guy goes for a "guy's night" and gets trashed, and crashes at a friend's place, he's a jackass for not going back to his girlfriend that night (and that's a real example I've seen).

I still stand by the fact that I think the replies usually given in my example "B" post would be encouraging the person to become controlling, etc. by justifying that they have a suspicion.

Also, I totally agree with your above example. It's a blatant double standard, if it's ok for a woman to do, then it should be ok for a man without being judged a jackass. ITA 100%

[Lace Neil Singer]

There's lots of double standards going on. He's assertive, she's bitchy. She's sensitive, he's a wimp. He's the boss, she's a nag. It'll be a wonderful day when everyone is allowed to be themselves without having to deal with stupid labels.

Don't forget the best one; he's a stud, she's a slag/slut.

[guywithashovel]

Look I was joking and I wasn't the only one making jokes

It's interesting how someone got offended at your statement, yet no one seems to have taken offense to Nyoibo's post (which was meant in jest, I know).

That's another double standard right there. They can take shots at us until the cows come home, and we're supposed to let it roll off our backs. But, if the tables get turned, feelings start getting hurt.

And yes, I know that there are bound to be some double standards since both genders are moderately different, as Raps pointed out. But hey, everyone else is bringing up double standards they've noticed. I'll join in on the fun, too. :P

[Boozy]

It's interesting how someone got offended at your statement, yet no one seems to have taken offense to Nyoibo's post (which was meant in jest, I know).

Nyoibo's post used some heavy and obvious sarcasm, and gremcint's did not. That's why offense was taken to the latter's post and not the former's. I wouldn't read anything else into it.

A smiley would have helped, in gremcint's case.

[guywithashovel]

Nyoibo's post used some heavy and obvious sarcasm, and gremcint's did not. That's why offesne was taken to the latter's post and not the former's. I wouldn't read anything else into it.

A smiley would have helped, in gremcint's case.

Point taken. It's sometimes hard to guess how people mean what they say online.

[BroomJockey]

That's why offense was taken to the latter's post and not the former's. I wouldn't read anything else into it.

I would, since I've seen the joke (and it was obviously a joke) in social situations, and the guy was nearly destroyed by the girls around, while I've seen multiple people just smile and nod in jokes similar to the other. So this thread's provided a nice reminder of those times.

[Nyoibo]

It's interesting how someone got offended at your statement, yet no one seems to have taken offense to Nyoibo's post (which was meant in jest, I know).

That's another double standard right there. They can take shots at us until the cows come home, and we're supposed to let it roll off our backs. But, if the tables get turned, feelings start getting hurt.

The other difference is I was having a go at my own gender.

[XCashier]

Don't forget the best one; he's a stud, she's a slag/slut.

Yes, of course, how could I forget that one? That's the best example yet!

[tropicsgoddess]

Don't forget the best one; he's a stud, she's a slag/slut.

That's the one that bugs me. Or how about if a guy is out all night it's okay, but for a woman it's not, hell how about if a guy that bows to a woman's needs/demands he's whipped but if it's a woman, she's being submissive.

[Mytical]

Lots of good examples here, let me try to add a couple more. If a guy is sensitive he is either : A wimp, a crybaby, or gay. If a woman is emotional it is expected.

A woman can not be physically stronger then a man (I always laugh at this remembering my sister being able to make full grown men cry uncle, and not by using the groin kick or similar). I've seen some pretty weak men, and some very strong women.

Even in areas that men can go shirtless, women can not go shirtless. Although I think all double standards should go, this one I would be first in line to vote for getting the axe.

A woman wears jeans (before seen as traditionally a males attire, but not anymore). A man wears a dress..he is a freak or a loon. May not understand the compulsion myself, but hey whatever floats your boat

Society is very backasswards on a lot of things. Some say we have a long way to evolve, I think in many ways we have devolved. But that is just the crazy person speaking. Pay no mind to the person behind the curtain.