Couples splitting all bills equally, despite wage differences

[MaggieTheCat]

I wasn't sure where to put this, so I just stuck it here...the thread in Things I Hate about one partner having to hand over their paycheck to the other reminded me of this.

Back when I worked in the call center, I worked with a gal whose husband also worked for the same company. The woman, J, was in the same department as I was, and we were considered supervisor level. Her husband was a manager for a different department and made quite a bit more money than we did. But they still split all the bills equally every month. If the cell phone plan they were on was $100/month, they would each pay $50, despite the fact that J's husband pulled in more income. They split their car payment, mortgage, all their utility bills, groceries, everything, right down the middle. Often times, J wouldn't have enough money to get lunch (if she didn't bring leftovers from a previous night's meal) because she'd had to spend most/all of her last paycheck on bills. Yet her husband went out to lunch almost every day.

Personally, I don't think this was fair at all. J said she used to have a job in which she made more money, closer to what her husband makes, and they set the rule down then. I can understand that...but when she's making substantially less than he is, I don't see why she still has to pay the same amount as she used to and then not have enough money for food for herself during the week.

Thoughts?

[blas87]

If you'd care for a different perspective, my former roomate and I were SUPPOSED to split everything right down the middle, to be fair. We weren't a couple, just pals.

I was in my first year at the factory, only making $10 an hour, granted it was fulltime and there was overtime. However, he'd just graduated college and landed an awesome IT job, and he was making almost double what I make. And get this.....HE is the one who started making excuses and refusing to pay his share!

[Cat]

While it might be annoying that he gets to go out more.....if they are using everything equally, they should pay equally.

If the boy and I ever move in together, I would like all our payments to be equal.

[blas87]

Another thing I think would be fair is what my parents do.

My father pays for the largest bill, the mortage. My mother pays for the smaller bills, like the electric and the water and the garbage and whatnot.

Whatever they have left over goes for things that are needed, like groceries or anything to fix the house or keep up with the vehicles and whatnot.

[Cat]

Another thing I think would be fair is what my parents do.

My father pays for the largest bill, the mortage. My mother pays for the smaller bills, like the electric and the water and the garbage and whatnot.

Whatever they have left over goes for things that are needed, like groceries or anything to fix the house or keep up with the vehicles and whatnot.

This seems like a good system

[Greenday]

Eh, it has it's ups and downs. I mean, this way one person doesn't feel like they are always stuck paying an unfair amount. If both people eat the same amount of food, does it really make sense that one person pays 70% and the other pays 30%? Not really.

But then again, it could lead to stuff like, "Well, I paid for this, this, this, and this so now you owe me this." Bad shit.

[tropicsgoddess]

Sorry, but the thread made me think of Joy Luck Club since these characters (a couple) split the bills down the middle despite the fact that the g/f made WAY less than her b/f. Didn't mean to be OT. SO, his mom and I live together (the house is SO's and mine), we just work with whatever we have, but for the most part I pay the rent, electric, my car insurance and they pay the other stuff like water,their respective car insurance policies, cell, etc.

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

When I lived with my ex, he made $24 an hour and I made $10. I was paying for my college and working full time and taking care of the house full time. I would have FLIPPED OUT if he suggested splitting the bills equally because he only worked 8 hours a day, I worked 24/7 in between the child, school, work, and household responsibilities.



I like to be taken care of financially. I work hard to have the house run smoothly, so I think my man can work hard to pay for the house.

[MaggieTheCat]

Well, I can see where splitting things evenly is more fair in some situations. Especially for roommates who are just living together. But there were a couple things about J's husband that just struck me as...kinda selfish.

For example, they had 2 vehicles. Even though they both worked at the same place, they drove separate vehicles, because, as a manager, J's husband worked odd hours. Really long hours. Like, he'd normally get in at 7am and stay until AT LEAST 8pm, sometimes later. J worked a strict 8-4 (since she was hourly and management typically didn't allow overtime for supervisor-level employees.) One time, the vehicle J drove most often broke down and they needed to get it repaired, but it was going to cost something like $600 for the part they needed. J didn't have her half ($300) right away and her husband refused to foot the entire bill to get the car fixed ASAP. They had to wait a week and a half till J got paid again. Which meant that they had to drive together, which lead to some juggling with their schedules. They had a son who was about 9 or 10, and J was normally home long enough in the morning to see him on the bus. But since she had to ride to work with her husband at 6:30, she had to make sure her son got to the neighbor's house (not close, since they lived in the country, it wasn't like walking across the street, more like about a mile down the road) before her and her husband left at 6:30. Since she didn't start till 8, she had to sit in the break room for over an hour before she could punch in. Then when she got off at 4, she'd have to take the car, go pick up their son from his after-school activities, go home and make dinner, then be prepared to go pick her husband up whenever he was done with work (which sometimes wasn't till after midnight.)

Doable? Yeah. Necessary? I don't think so. I don't understand why her husband couldn't just fork over the $600 right away (he could afford it), even if he did ask J to pay him back in a week and a half when she got paid.

[BroomJockey]

My thoughts?

Not a damned bit of our business. It's the financial situation of a married couple, and thus there are way way WAY too many unknowns to make anything resembling an intelligent foray in to discussing their particular arrangement.

Now, do I think that all couples should split bills 50/50 regardless of income, or even all married couples? No, but I think they should both be contributing something of value. If I'm pulling in 2x what my partner does, to the point where they're not able to contribute fully to paying the bills, they better be cleaning, or willing to help run errands, or something, because until I'm married I'm not supporting anyone free and clear.

[suchislife2]

Hrm,

Personally I think the splitting things 50%-50% is actually a good thing. It means he can't "pull rank" financially saying she doesn't pull her wieght and that she's not contributing as much. Means everything is shared.

However..if he's able to go out to lunch every day I can't see why he can't "lend" her a coupld of $$$ so that she can have something to eat as well. Specially if she has nothign else to eat that day. That part I find unfair.

[Fryk]

See, when you're married, I can't see thinking of things this way. For me and my wife the money either of us make is OUR money. I don't make my own, and neither does she. Whatever we bring in is all lumped together, and used to pay bills and get whatever else either of us want/need. I guess it helps that we almost always shop together, too.

[Lady_Foxfire]

I like the way my parents do it, which is that both of their paychecks go towards paying bills, getting groceries, gas, etc., and they both get $30 a week spending money, which they can spend on whatever they want, like books, fast food, or poker games.

[Cat]

Then again, I think I am biased.....we're looking for a house, but since he boy wants to buy it all on his own, its taking longer then if I helped....

[Lace Neil Singer]

My parents have a joint account for bills, food etc, and separate accounts for extras. My dad's retired now, but still works part time; but back in the day, he earned more than Mum so his extra bit went towards the mortgage. Now tho, Dad's retired; but they've paid off the mortgage now, cuz of that system.