Why is it my fault?

[jackfaire]

I am living from paycheck to paycheck occasionally I save up enough money to buy myself something nice like my new laptop. Now whenever someone sees me with it I am hit up for money or food. I can't afford to feed and clothe you I can barely afford myself. When I tell these people no not only do they glare but so does everyone else around me.

Guess what I did not force these people to take drugs or live on the streets. I am one step away from joining them but I am supposed to give them everything I have or I am a bad person. I mean shit I make less money than those teachers that make so precious little.

If I have money to give I will give it but no your not getting the rest of my lunch when I don't even know if I am gonna make rent this month. Seriously though why is it my responsibility to not only take care of myself and make sure I am good but support every person that needs it?

[blas87]

These are by no needs necessities, but I've gotten to the point where if I go outside to smoke at the bars, I will try to hide it.

Why?

Everyone seems to be a bunch of damn moochers.....like they either don't bring enough with them or purposely don't bring any so that they can mooch all night.

I swear, it's like magic....whip out a cigarette, insert into mouth, and you'll get at least 1 or 2 people instantly "Hey can I bum a smoke?!"

Fuck off. I can barely support my own habbit. Go away.

But back on the topic of making ends meet and necessities, I feel for ya. There aren't many bums around here and I've only been hit up for money once or twice in my whole life, but it would still piss me off either way.

[Tanasi]

Jack the guilt is in your head, don't worry about those folks, as you said you didn't put them in that situation so the heck with them. They're gonna think the same thing of you regardless if you feed them or not.
For me that's one of the benefits of being an asshole they leave you alone.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Jack the guilt is in your head, don't worry about those folks, as you said you didn't put them in that situation so the heck with them. They're gonna think the same thing of you regardless if you feed them or not.
For me that's one of the benefits of being an asshole they leave you alone.

I could not change a word of this to improve it. Quoted for truth.

[Dips]

Maybe the third-party glarers are glaring at the bum not at you.

When I worked in the city I was hit up for money all the time. Felt guilty about saying "no" but after you do it enough times you stop feeling guilty.

I don't care if they give me crap about it either. If some stranger has a poor opinion of me based on a 5 second interaction, so what? I can live with that. No need to waste time getting upset about it.

My husband, on the other hand isn't so used to dealing with it. Last time it happened we were together. I said I couldn't spare anything and the bum came back with a sarcastic, "Yeah, I thought so."

Before I could stop him Mr. Dips turned around and asked him, "So would you give ME money if I asked YOU?"

I was trying to get Mr. Dips to move along as the whole interaction was pretty pointless but the guy had this look on his face, like he'd never considered it. I won the tug-of-war so we were long gone before he came up with an answer.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have a huge amounts of guilt, stress, and worry about a great many things.

Whether or not some professional parasite thinks I am a bitch or not is NOT something I have any guilt, stress, or worry over.

As to if I am actually a bitch or not...yeah, probably.

So...whatever.

Probably have guilt over it if I wasn't such a bitch.

[gremcint]

The one that bugs me is the woman in our area at the canadian tire with the sign about needing to feed her kids. If for one second I thought she actually had kids I would call cps.

[jackfaire]

It feels like I am always getting hit from all sides and people I work with assume I can afford to help the less fortunate because I make what they make but I have more debt, child support, etc than a lot of them.

Other people see me dressed nice (for work) and assume that of course I can help out. I actually had this girl give me a lecture about my being a stuck up rich prick because I wouldn't help out the less fortunate.

That irritated me because the girl was obviously still in high school from an upper middle class family that had never known true hardship and seemed to assume if you weren't homeless then you had plenty and should give some of it away.

In my area many of the people that are homeless are by choice or addiction problems. For those homeless by circumstances there are so many programs to help you get back on your feet it would be hard not to succeed.

Note to the people who feel I should give the laptop I bought yeah that cost me a lot of money but it replace two barely working computers I had linked together because neither one was fully functioning.

Get off my back.

If you knew the area I lived in you would understand.

[Flyndaran]

If I had money, I would give it. Being a big guy with little care about personal appearance, I never get asked. I wonder why.

This is of course when I could leave the apartment.

[Slytovhand]

There was a guy I used to work with who was a Buddhist monk in Nepal for 5 years - and had a vow of poverty. He still used to get hit up for money and the like... cos he's a whitey and thus must be rich. As he said, those ppl hitting him up usually had more than he did (after all, he had his robes, and his begging bowl - that was it!)

Guilt is just another emotion.... meh!

[suchislife2]

grr I hate that. You've just gone and got money out to you know...buy a ticket for the train and have a little for the night out ahead. That's when I normally get pounced on!

I get the "you just took money out, don't tell me you have nothing!"
Yeah...because I took the money out JUST so I could give it to you? Ever think that the money was for something? and that I needed EVERY LAST CENT! OF said money?

Guess not?

Don't worry your self over it. You owe them nothing.

[Racket_Man]

I get the same thing, except from "my family" first let me explain "family". "family" is my Ex-wife trying to get money for my daughter and her 1 YO son. My Ex is disabled and gets SS disability. she lives with a guy who is retired (yes the age difference is 20 years) and also on SS disablility. When Ex left and we divorced 4 years ago (the why this happned is another rant itself). my daughter (18 at the time) stayed with me for about a year and then decided that my "rules" were too "harsh" and decided to strike out on her own. over the last 2 1/2 years daughter tried to make it on her own (keeping a job seems to be hard for her), but has ended up living with her mother and mom's boyfriend. 2 years ago daughter got preggers (this ties in with the "forced sex-ed" thread ie. did not require the guy to use protection).

Yes I have a job, but that job is not the greatest paying job in the world. yes I would love to have the jobs I previously had making some good money but that is not reality right now. I too almost live paycheck to paycheck. I am a delivery driver. with the money I make (both regular wages and tips) I have to pay rent, phone, gas/electric, put gas in my car, pay for expensive auto insurance, buy food and try to save what I can. I am required at times to literally pull somewhat large sums of money together for car repairs. (nothing like having to pull $2000 out of the air for a transmission repair) meaning at the end of the month I usually end up breaking even (at best) or going slightly (sometimes more than slightly) negative in the cash flow. Yes that means I end of in the red most of the time now.

Now my GF and I have, over the last 2 years, seen our hours cut and our overall income fall. not drastically fall but enough to make it hurt. we are trying to, literally, keep our heads above water. the income may have fallen but the bills still need to be paid.

Now Ex and her BF are grumbling about how I do not cotribute to the upkeep of my grandson. this is in responce to a few things my daughter and I do together on a semi-regular basis. things like go see the new Harry Potter Movie and 3 times a year travel about 2 hours to see Rocky Horror. I, myself, am planning a vacation in January to see my ailing Mother. these trips are planned out WELL in advance. Every night I take a couple of dollars (as in like $2) out of my tips and put it back for these events. sometimes if I make little in tips I can not put any money back.

most likely the Rocky Horror thing will be going bye-bye next year as I can not afford to put back the money anymore.

I keep hearing things along the lines of "WELL if you can afford (pick an event) you can afford to spend lots of $$$$'s on (stuff for us) for grandson"

sorry I am just trying to survive myself. Yes daughter and gandson (and Ex and her BF) DO get state $$ assistance, state welfare and foodstamps , and state health insurance coverage. yeah I know that does not cover much but again I am just trying to survive in my life not get rich right now

[Boozy]

There was a guy I used to work with who was a Buddhist monk in Nepal for 5 years - and had a vow of poverty. He still used to get hit up for money and the like... cos he's a whitey and thus must be rich.

I don't think this situation is in any way comparable to that of the OP.

The OP is complaining about people who live in America who have had all the same opportunities as himself. You're discussing the people of Tibet, many of whom live in crippling poverty with small hope of crawling out of it.

More importantly, your friend was a monk. People ask monks for charity, because that is what many monks provide.

[jackfaire]

One of my beefs with the people who hit me up for money is the shoes and the cell phones.

I wear generic 20 dollar shoes because that is what I can afford I own the cheapest cell phone I can and only because the landlines in my area now cost as much as a cell phone so I might as well get the benefit of a cell phone.

I am being hit up for money by people with very nice brand name shoes while they talk on expensive cell phones I could only dream of. In 2 years I will finally be able to start putting money into my personal savings account if I keep my job because my rent will finally be current and my utilities paid to a reasonable level.

The only money I get to put aside right now is into my IRA and I am doing that at the sacrifice of many personal things so that when I am too old to work I don't have to rely on my daughter to take care of me.

A lot of the homeless in my area are so because of the rampant drug problem we have had over the last couple of decades. I come from the same areas of the city as these people I had to pay for my own college with student loans and I have had to struggle for every little thing I have while I carve out my piece of happiness.

So back off and go to one of the many day labor companies in the area and start working your way back up like I am doing.

Edit

Every day I feel like a warrior because yes my life can be a struggle but I am proud I am making it on my own. I have had assistance when I needed it but I give back I pay back into the system and I lend a helping hand when I can.

[gremcint]

if you have a cell phone then you don't need to be begging. Sell your cell phone and then come talk to me.