You're still hanging around after two years?

[Greenday]

That sounds like leading on to me.

If he didn't keep telling her that in another few months he would be ready, I would not place any blame on him.

Unless he says, "I will begin dating you in X amount of time.", he is not making a definitive statement and she needs to understand that. Also, "Maybe in a few months I'll be ready for a relationship" does not equal "Maybe in a few months I'll be ready and WANT a relationship WITH YOU."

why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

Reminds me of the amazing series Red vs. Blue!

[Boozy]

I missed Kiwi's update. I think "another few months" would be considered leading her on.

She's an idiot for believing it, but his hands aren't clean either.

[McDreidel09]

It's still leading her on. If you tell someone that something is going to happen, it doesn't happen, then you tell them that it will, then it doesn't, that is leading her on. It seems like he's telling her that because he figures she will stay if he says that.

[kiwi]

She's an idiot for believing it, but his hands aren't clean either.

That was the entire point of my post. They are both very stupid for continuing with this "relationship".
She is because she should have realised by now that what he does NOT want to be her boyfriend. He is stupid because he knows she wants that title and all that comes with it but doesn't want to give up the free pussy.

[jackfaire]

reminds me of the amazing series red vs. Blue!

it's not pink it's light red!!!

[DesignFox]

Unless he says, "I will begin dating you in X amount of time.", he is not making a definitive statement and she needs to understand that. Also, "Maybe in a few months I'll be ready for a relationship" does not equal "Maybe in a few months I'll be ready and WANT a relationship WITH YOU."
<snip>

That's called mind games. You sure you're really a man and not a woman? (Kidding!)

If the guy would simply say, "I'm not interested in having a committed relationship with you." Then he would be blameless. Saying, "Oh baby, I'll be ready in a few months, just give me more time!" and then not making a commitment is bullshit. That *is* leading someone on.

If a stranger said something like that, you'd instantly call bullshit (like most of us are). It's someone you have a thing for...you believe it, because you desperately want it to be true.

Then you're crushed when you finally get it through your skull. Your heart breaks. In time, you realize your mistake and wish you hadn't wasted all that time being with a douchebag.

Casual relations are fine, as long as everyone involved agrees that it's just that. If one person wants something that isn't there, and is honest about it, it's up to the other person to make their intentions just as clear...and if that means losing a ready source of sex, too bad.

They advertise dating sites for just such things nowadays...(those commercials are disgusting btw. I understand some people just want a casual encounter, but...well, you just have to see the commercial...it's simultaneously funny and insulting)

back on topic...

This guy knows she wants him to be exclusive. He knows she has a thing for him. Therefore, he will string her along until A) he gets bored of her B) he finds someone he actually *is* interested in or C) she finally realizes he's an asshole and neuters hi...I mean finds someone who treats her right.

[Greenday]

It's a fine line to me as he never said he would be ready to date her in a few months, just that he'd be ready in a few months.

I'm guessing though kiwi is just paraphrasing and he has said something to the effect of willing to date her in a few months. That's not right to lead her on like that, but I find it hard to believe after all this time she truly thinks he's ever going to. For all we know, her saying she's just waiting to date him is an excuse to not feel slutty for hooking up with someone outside a relationship. Some people think it makes them slutty and have to justify it to make themselves feel better.

[BroomJockey]

I'm guessing though kiwi is just paraphrasing

It's not just kiwi paraphrasing, unless she heard it directly. Her friend would be paraphrasing too. This is one of those cases, for me, to condemn the guy, I'd need to know exactly what he said, so that I know it wasn't just wishful thinking or reading too much in to anything. I think she's silly for waiting so long, and should smarten up, but again, depending on what was said, I may not blame her too much.

[kiwi]

For all we know, her saying she's just waiting to date him is an excuse to not feel slutty for hooking up with someone outside a relationship. Some people think it makes them slutty and have to justify it to make themselves feel better.

Thats a good point Greenday although the attitude that particular group of friends has towards sex is very liberal. They all frequently have one night stands or casual hook ups (not making any kind of value judgement there). They wouldn't label this girl a slut if she was in that kind of relationship. Given that she had the personality of a cardboard box I neither blame the guy for not wanting to be her boyfriend, but I can genuinely believe that she thinks if she holds on long enough he will come around.

The whole bunch of girls (and a few guys) were full of drama, I admit it was highly amusing to sit back and listen to them talk. One of the girls told me how she dumped a guy because he cancelled on her twice, they are always hooking up and breaking up. They are all in their late twenties but act like they are in high school. I have been out of the dating scene so long I could barely keep up with what they were telling me. I was VERY grateful for my nice, steady, long term BF that night.

I just don't believe the arrangement is healthy for either of the two involved.

[AdminAssistant]

I've been 'that girl' twice, and in my case it was horribly low self esteem compounded by the fact that I didn't think I could do or deserved any better. The guys involved both knew I wanted a serious relationship, they led me on, and enjoyed the free play until I finally pulled my head out of my ass.

I was stupid and they were assholes. Neither party was blameless. I have a sneaking suspicion that may be the case here.

[jackfaire]

Girls in their late twenties that act like we are still all in high school is why I don't date.

[Flyndaran]

Girls in their late twenties that act like we are still all in high school is why I don't date.

It's not like all women of that age do that. I met my girlfriend when she was 20. She never played mind games.
Most people suck, so you just have to look harder or in different places.

[jackfaire]

My eyes aren't shut. If I meet some awesome woman I will chat her up but at this time I just am not actively looking for someone.

I am enjoying it being just me.

[Flyndaran]

My eyes aren't shut. If I meet some awesome woman I will chat her up but at this time I just am not actively looking for someone.

I am enjoying it being just me.

Then that isn't the reason you don't date.
Not everyone needs to be in a relationship, so enjoy your life however it makes you the happiest.