It's your fault becasue your a man.

[jackfaire]

This one has always bothered me and I have noticed it in various stated attitudes and refuse to date anyone that holds this attitude or do business with such.

The most prominent example of it comes from when I found out my ex wife had been cheating on me. At the time I was furious but I didn't want my daughter growing up with her parents estranged from each other so it was my opinion that we should work it out.

Anyway a couple of weeks later she was diagnosed with a (thank god curable) STD. Needless to say I wasn't happy. I went to my hospital and was given a female doctor that felt STDs were always the fault of any man because they are all cheating bastards.

There were painful ways to test and non painful ways this Doctor wanted to use the painful way until my lovely ex-wife (yeah cheated on me two times more after that which she said was really all my fault) made it clear to said doctor that I was not the one who had cheated.

Seriously I can't get over this because where the heck does the attitude come from? We went from, "Let's all be equal" to "Men are evil enemy"

How do I keep from being judged like just every other man by people that assume all guys are one way?

[kiwi]

How do I keep from being judged like just every other man by people that assume all guys are one way?

You can't be responsible for the opinions and behaviour of others. The only thing you can do is be responsible for your own actions and opinions.

I would have formally complained about the doctor, her social opinions have no place at work.

[Fryk]

There is nothing you can do about someone else's bigoted, unintelligent assumptions. You could walk around for the rest opf your life with a 19 page manifesto about how you're not like whatever man it was that hurt them tied around your neck for all to read, and it would change nothing.
Just keep in mind that very few women in reality feel that way, and don't get caught up in assumptions based on that doctor and her ilk in return.

[Nyoibo]

Seriously I can't get over this because where the heck does the attitude come from? We went from, "Let's all be equal" to "Men are evil enemy"

It's never been "Let's all be equal".

[kibbles]

That so called "doctor" shouldn't even be a doctor. Even if you were the one who cheated (and the doctor knew this), that doesn't give some bitch the right to inflict pain on anyone where it can be avoided.

Hopefully she will get her license revoked if that's how she practices medicine.

[guywithashovel]

This is why so many guys grimace when a woman identifies herself as a feminist. It's not that we don't know what feminism is supposed to be about---we do. We took social science and women's studies in college (I did, anyway). It's just that many (I hesitate to say most) women who identify themselves as feminists are like this doctor.

[Greenday]

This is why so many guys grimace when a woman identifies herself as a feminist. It's not that we don't know what feminism is supposed to be about---we do. We took social science and women's studies in college (I did, anyway). It's just that many (I hesitate to say most) women who identify themselves as feminists are like this doctor.

A lot of feminists these days aren't fighting for equality anymore. I mean, most will agree they want equality and damn right, women deserve it. But some feminists are fighting for inequalities in favor of women and it's kinda hurting their cause.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

A lot of feminists these days aren't fighting for equality anymore. I mean, most will agree they want equality and damn right, women deserve it. But some feminists are fighting for inequalities in favor of women and it's kinda hurting their cause.

I totally agree with this. This is why I maintain that I am not a feminist. I am a humanist.

I do not like male bashing and I don't let women get away with it in front of me. It's offensive.

[kiwi]

I totally agree with this. This is why I maintain that I am not a feminist. I am a humanist.

I'm a feminist, I don't want to be better than a man, or less than a man. I want to be judged individually for my own merits, not against any man nor any woman.

But I will be damned if I let some stupid man hating ididot take the word women fought so hard for away from me because they use it to demean men. Just like I wont let idiots like Sarah Palin demean what it means to be a "career" women or the Westboro Baptists highjack the meaning of Christian

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I get what you are saying. Your right. But I have to admit that one reason I am not crazy about the word has nothing to do with bad connectations stupid or militant people have put onto it.

I don't like the word because to me, the idea that someone is "for women's rights" sort of suggests that the idea is novel and it's perfectly okay if you are NOT "for" women's rights. It's like saying "I am (fill in political party, church denomination, vegetarian or not, blonde or not, etc of your choice.)

If you are NOT "for" rights of equality for every citizen in your society, it's NOT okay. If you are not in favor of that, then I'm afraid you are a knuckle dragging troglodyte.

I dunno, it's just some hair-splitting that happens in my own head. I certainly have no problem with other women who identify themselves as feminists, because I understand what they are saying about themselves when they call themselves that. However, I'm not comfortable using it to describe myself.

And the term "women's lib" makes me absolutely cringe.

Does that make the least bit of sense?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

<snip>
Does that make the least bit of sense?

actually, yes... it does.

It all seems to lead back to a perpetual overreaction to historic inequality. Don't get me wrong, inequality is bad, but it seems that in many cases the reaction on the part of those trying to impose equality ends up boiling over. Like racism against white people being OK cuz there were alot of racist white people in the past and being sexist against men is OK because there were alot of sexist men in the past.

Some people say they're for equality when what they're after is revenge.

[DesignFox]

RK, your point makes sense to me, because I feel very much the same way.

To the OP, that doctor is a total bitch. I would complain. Her personal opinion shouldn't be coming into how she prescribes treatment. If there is an equally effective, painless method of treatment, she should be prescribing that.

And I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. I don't understand people who cheat on their partners at all. Bringing STD's home to your partner is unforgivable. I admire you for being the bigger person and putting your daughter first in this situation. A shame her mother can't do the same for her.

My SO and I had the cheating discussion. He said if it ever happened, game over- no discussion. I said if he ever did it, he'd be lucky if all I did was break up with him. I'm fiercely loyal. Breaking my trust is the one thing I will never tolerate, especially when it comes down to the risk of disease.

[jackfaire]

Breaking my trust is the one thing I will never tolerate, especially when it comes down to the risk of disease.

She is the first and last to ever get that many chances. I love my daughter and will put up with a lot more crap to make sure she is happy than I will for anything and anyone else.

In the future I will wait for the right woman not the one that is desperate to be a mom.

[Tanasi]

My ex-wife had tried several times over the nearly last 40 years to scam folks and businesses using my name. One time in the late 80's she was trying to scam some folks saying that she had HIV and I have had given it to her. Well not only had I not given HIV to her I hadn't been with her sexually in nearly 20 years and I was remarried and had kids. She was arrested, charged, and convicted of fraud and wire fraud (state and federal charges.) I then sued her for defimation and won a judgement against her. She doesn't have anything and probably never will but if she should ever have I'm going to get it.
To this day I still have a blot on my record at the health department even though I tested and continue to test clean.