Teachers & Children having sex

[IDrinkaRum]

@ Boozy: Yes, that's what I'm saying. The teacher from my 6th grade year left the school. A couple of years later, the charges were dropped because they didn't want traumatize the student and make her testify what happened to her. (Though right after that incident, we got the DARE program in my school and learned to say no to drugs and protect ourselves from "other things").

@ Greenday: Yes, I know hearsay is inadmissable in court or at least it's not something that is used exclusively in the collection of evidence for a case. But sometimes, a student may (I'm not saying they actually do), but they may brag about what's happening to them. And in the original story link, the student and teacher were texting/e-mailing/celll phone calling each other with their declarations of "love". Though I just killed my own argument, huh? That's physical evidence, right?

[Greenday]

I would say that's definite proof of a relationship, but I don't know if that can be used to prove a sexual relationship is going on, unless one such message actually says so. Otherwise, it'll just prove they were having too close a relationship, which isn't entirely illegal.

[IDrinkaRum]

As I've said, I'm Overprotective Mommy. I don't believe a teacher, should be writing e-mails to my child that doesn't consist of: "Here is the homework" or "Here is some hints about answeirng such-and-such question" or "here's how to start out a paper about such-and-such". Or whatever.

But as I said, that's just me.

[Greenday]

We actually go out drinking with some of our teachers. But that's only the kids 21 years old or older. Us underage kids don't get to go to the bars. We also play paintball and dodgeball with teachers. Hell, I talk to one of my teachers about a lot of personal stuff. But I think that's more college orientated. The younger you get, the less personal relationships you should have with teachers.

[rahmota]

Idrinkrum: Ok I think I can see what you're talking about. Still there needs to be enough proof. At my son's school a few years back (before the eldest graduated) there was a female student who claimed that one of the teachers looked down her blouse. Now this was a cheerleader, who was failing his class. And if she failed the class she would not be allowed to be on the cheerleading team. This teacher was old school and could not be bought or intimidated to play along and let her slide.

So she cried to the board that he looked down her blouse. Everyone knew and respected this teacher and it got kinda ugly. Finally it came out that she just did it out of spite so she might be able to stay on the cheerleading squad. This is why I feel there needs to be a lot of evidence, firm hard evidence admissable in a court of law before anythign gets done. (oh and the teacher quit and got a better job with a private christian school where the last I talked to him he is much much happier and still quite repsected and liked)

As for what sort of relationship a student/teacher should have then that does depend on age. At 13 maybe talking about games or thigns related to the classes to try and motivate the student is cool. Either way about it the parent needs to pay attention and be involved in whats going on with their child.

Which is one thign that has me puzzled? Where was the parent of the kid? I mean we find out he was an illegal so I'm guessing his parents where too. So whats going on there? Some sort of blackmail with her having a pedofetish? Some sort of trade goign on with the parents? It seems like there is somethign going on that isnt exactly clear.

[IDrinkaRum]

Rahmota - you're right. I was wondering about that myself. However, I thought it was a kidnapping at first (until all the "relationship" stuff came out).

That's another thing about all the other students who have relationships with their teachers (like one girl who was being pimped by her coach) - where are the parents? Are they too trusting?

As for the girl who cried wolf, that does happen, unfortunately and it does give those who are being abused just enough pause to not report it, thereby allowing the teacher to continue whatever it is they are continuing.

[protege]

Idrinkrum: Ok I think I can see what you're talking about. Still there needs to be enough proof. At my son's school a few years back (before the eldest graduated) there was a female student who claimed that one of the teachers looked down her blouse.

That's already happened here--some girl claimed that her teacher had made "unwanted advances" towards her. In reality, she was pissed because she failed his class, and wanted to get even. After the truth came out, the teacher's career was destroyed...all because she didn't do her classwork. Did anything happen to her? Of course not.

[rahmota]

Protege: That sucks. Thats too bad the girl got away with wrecking a person's life for petty BS. At least in the case here the girl got some social backlash on her since the teacher was respected and liked at least by the parents and most of the students. One of the benefits of a small school compared to a big school where the teachers and students and their parents dont have as much intereaction and know each other.

Idrinkrum: I dont know if its too trusting, or too busy with other thigns going on or what the problem is. I do agree that the parents need to start getting more involved and taking the time to know whats going on with their kids. The price of failure for this is way too great.

This sort of situation is always going to be like tap dancing in a mine field. Ugly dangerous and disturbing to watch.

[Greenday]

Just the slightest mention of a teacher having an affair with a student, and their teaching career is over, regardless of whether an affair is happening or not. Schools don't want to hire a teacher who might have had a relationship with a student.

You'd actually be surprised though at how parents can be duped. The math teacher at my school that got caught managed a pool club during the summers and the girl he was having an affair with worked there. The parents would just think she was working. Why would they have reason to believe anything was different? A kid says they are going to a "friend's" house. If the parent isn't driving them there, they have no idea where the kid is really going. A kid could say they joined an after-school club and instead of going to the meetings, they could be hanging out with the teacher. While I believe most parents don't actually pay enough attention to what their kids are doing, even when parents try, it's not the easiest thing to do.

[rahmota]

Greenday:

A kid says they are going to a "friend's" house. If the parent isn't driving them there, they have no idea where the kid is really going

Maybe we're running into that urban vs rural thign again. Out here if a parent, older sibling or olther designated relative, doesnt take their 13 year old to their friend's house or school activity then the kid doesnt go.

For example We live 6 miles from the school the kids go to. Kids at the far end of the district can live up to 12-15 miles from the school. The closest one of my children's friends lives 1/4 mile away. And I still walk them there for a visit so I know they are going there. Not to mention the sheer fact that out in the country there are not that many places to really go where it wouldnt be noticed that the teacher and student are together and to get to the nearest big city is a 45 minute drive.

Now in town yeah I can see (and have discussed with the parents of other students) that their kid said they went one place and actually went another. But they usually get quite punished around here if its found out. So I think a lot of it is the attitude of the parents or their lifestyle choices as in putting work and keeping up with the jonses and stuff ahead of their family instead of keeping an involved life with their family.