Death and You

[jackfaire]

When I hear about something like massive earthquakes that kill thousands my first thought is, "That sucks!" Emotionally, however, I feel nothing. Intellectually I know that people are hurting, angry, and scared. I might donate some money to relief funds but I don't feel it.

When I find out some guy went crazy and stabbed a girl working in a fast food place. A girl I never knew never met and I think, "That sucks" but again nothing emotionally.

My uncle died of a drug overdose and I shrugged and went, "Meh saw it coming," My grandmothers passed and nothing.

My dad was the only one whose death has ever emotionally affected me. I don't know if it was because it was so unnatural, suicide, or what but I pondered that today because I wonder how others react.

How do you think people should react? Should every death be a gut check to the mortality button or is it okay to not get weepy everytime someone passes in circumstances either expected or natural? Or that you never even knew?

Or am I just a cold soulless robot?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

I've found that I react with only the very subtlest emotions when strangers are involved, barely enough to consciously register. The same held true for my grandfathers (expected in every possible way) and one grandmother (again, expected).

I haven't yet gotten a big hit of mortality, so I don't know how I'll react. Judging by my reaction with other things though, it could either be mild or catastrophic.

[AdminAssistant]

Everyone grieves in their own way, and every death/loss/illness affects people differently. When my 91 year old grandmother passed, I was not terribly sad. First of all, she was 91, and that's a pretty good run for anybody. Secondly, she was in the nursing home, which she hated, due to a broken hip. She was starting to lose her mental faculties. That, topped with the fact that she had not seen her husband in nearly 35 years....and we were all kind of glad to think that she was happy, pain-free, at peace, and with Grandpa.

However, a friend of mine was killed in a car crash a few months later. He had just turned 19 and had a bright future ahead of him. A very hard working, loving person. I was devastated, especially since my nephew was born a few days later, and the conflicting emotions of loss and happiness were just too much to take.

As for large-scale disasters elsewhere, my emotional response varies depending on the place and the likelihood of people getting help. I am sincerely worried about Haiti, about donations being stolen by the government and shady organization, about looting, etc. I'm also concerned that the donations will be limited due to our own recession.

[Talon]

If you're a cold soulless robot then so am I.

The death of a stranger isn't going to affect us because it's a stranger. That's human nature, and I feel no need to apologize for that. Besides, whether we feel bad or not doesn't make the person any more or less dead.

[Greenday]

It depends on how well I know the effected.

A completely different country where I have 0 ties: Sucks. Not shedding tears.
Someone I know of at school but not friends with: Shocked, tad shaken, but still not going to cry.

Only death I've cried over was my grandfather who died at 79. Even though he was really sick with emphysema, for some reason I never really expected it to kill him. He was the sole survivor of an airplane crash. He was shot in Korea. His ship sank in the Pacific in WWII and he could barely swim other than a simple doggystyle. He's been hit my a car and been caught in the middle of an electric plant on fire leaving his entire body covered in severe burns. He was a boxer. That's just a small portion of his life. So when I said I was surprised emphysema is what got him, I really was. I was also extremely close with him which is why it hurt more to lose him.

[crashhelmet]

I have become cold and heartless. I'm compassionate enough to say "I'm sorry for your loss" and be so, but any tears I may shed are from my own self-hatred from feeling cold and heartless.

My dad spent 30 years in the Marine Corps before transferring to the reserves (They don't actually let you retire ). When I was young, I had to come to terms with the fact that the next time they sent him somewhere, he might not come home. And then Grenada happened. My dad was sent there and I got to see the highlights on the news. He came home safe and sound, but it's still tough for an 8 year old to take.

Skip forward 6 years and few deaths of elderly family members here and there and high school starts. During my 4 years in high school I lost 13 friends and family members. 4 of them were in a car accident right in front of me. After all of that, I just shut myself off.

My mom passed away 6 years ago and the only sadness was not resolving the differences between us.

As AdminAssistant said, everyone grieves differently. I just wish I could grieve.

CH

[Kimmik]

Hun you do grieve.. just not with tears. I have had a lot of deaths in my 35 years.. family, friends, and the only 2 that haunt me are my dad and my son. Other then that I don't cry I miss them all terribly but then I also have the view that we don't mourn because they died we mourn because we are left behind.

For me grieving is the wistful moments when something triggers a memory of one I lost. Hell when we had to make the decision to take our son off life support many looked at me as if I was an ice queen as there was no emotion.

But death isn't the end.. it is just the next stage..