Am I wrong to let my son call our neighbor "Grandpa" ?

[RavenStarr]

I'm not sure if this is in the right place. I do know that the issue of how to address step relatives is a hot issue for a lot of people. Plus Jackfaire inspired me to start this thread.

We have a neighbor who is a 62 yr old man. He is a very nice man. always willing to help, very friendly. Just an all around good person.

My youngest son who is 10 has taken to calling him "Grandpa". This is completely his choice. My husband and I are fine with it, so is the neighbor.

Not long ago I overheard my youngest say "I'm going to see "Grandpa". My 17 yr old son said to him, "He aint your damn "Grandpa". I'm not sure if this was said out of anger or what but I made sure to point out a few things such as:

1. Both Grandpas had already passed on before he was born. (And yes I have told him about both of his Grandpas.)

2. He never got to know his Grandpas personally while the two older boys got to know one of the Grandpas for at least a little while.

3. There is no harm in him calling our neighbor "Grandpa".

So my question is: Are my husband and I wrong to let our son call the neighbor "Grandpa". Please be honest. I can take it.

[IDrinkaRum]

I don't think there's anything wrong with your son calling the neighbor "Grandpa". As long as all parties involved are okay with it, I see no harm. When I was growing up, we had a family friend whom my sister and I called "Grandpa Baldack" (Baldack was his last name).

Does your 17-year-old remember either one or both of his grandpas? That might be why he told your youngest then neighbor wasn't his grandpa (or he could be jealous your 10-y.o. is closer to the old man than he is).

[jackfaire]

Honestly no I don't. Your older son's issue with it is his thing. Your not doing anything wrong your younger son feels that kind of relationship with the neighbor. How that progresses is up to you.

[HYHYBT]

So long as he, you, and the neighbor are fine with it, and nobody's confused about whether he's actually a relative or not, it's nobody else's business. It's no different than children who call friendly adults they know well "uncle."

[RavenStarr]

IDrinkaRum my 17 yr did know one of his Grandpas. He passed away when he was 5. He does remember him. I think honestly think in his case it was said out of anger. He has heard his little brother mention "Grandpa" before and never said anything. Plus the 17 yr old and the 10 yr old do not get along at all. I don't think he is really jealous of thier close relationship. He talks to the old man too.Not as much as the 10 yr old.

I'm really more curious about what people think. I know there are people out there that think it's wrong and I'd like to know why.

[MaggieTheCat]

I don't have a problem with kids calling adults who they are close to, but not directly related to, certain names like grandpa or aunt/uncle so long as everyone is comfortable with it. My brother has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for about 7 years now. His girlfriend has a daughter from a previous marriage who is about 9, so she was very young when she was introduced to our family. Even though she is not my brother's daughter, I still call her my niece.

[tropicsgoddess]

I see no harm in it as long as the neighbor is okay with it too.

[LadyBarbossa]

This is completely his choice. My husband and I are fine with it, so is the neighbor.

I think these opinions are the only ones that matter. I think it's great that your son has a close relationship with this man, and it's completely harmless to call him Grandpa.

[AFPheonix]

I called the neighbor I grew up next to Grandpa, he was the closest thing to a grandpa that I had. He watched me when Mom went back to work, took me camping, fishing, and hunting, taught me how to bake pies and make arrowheads, all kinds of fun stuff.
I still call him Grandpa and go visit whenever I can. He's Grandpa to a lot of people. There's nothing wrong with it and your 17 year old needs to get over himself.

[protege]

I don't see anything wrong, as long as everyone's OK with it.

My ex-girlfriend's nephew still calls me his "uncle." At the time, he was too young to understand that we weren't married, but since his other relatives were all 'aunt and uncle' he thought of me as another uncle. Still does, in fact. He'd be about 7 or 8 now, and if it makes him feel better that he has another uncle (since his father ran out on him), I'm not about to piss on his parade by correcting him.

[MadMike]

I think these opinions are the only ones that matter. I think it's great that your son has a close relationship with this man, and it's completely harmless to call him Grandpa.

Exactly what I was going to say. As long as everyone involved is OK, the hell with everyone else.

[muses_nightmare]

I don't see a problem with it. I used to call a good family friend and neighbour Aunty, I still do actually when I refer to her. To reiterate what everyone else was saying, so long as everyone involved is comfortable with it then there's no harm.

[drunkenwildmage]

I'm going to jump on the "I don't see a problem with it" Bandwagon.

My Wife's Grandma and Grandpa (When he was alive) are universally known by everyone both inside and outside of the family as "Grandma or Grandpa".. The only exception was my Wife's "Mom" and uncles, and Maybe some of their closer friends of theirs, but otherwise everyone including my dad and brother calls them Grandma or Grandpa....

[Aethian]

Nothing wrong with it. Hell I have four Mom's, three Dad's, five sisters, two brothers, and around 20 grandma's and just about the same in grandpa's.

I'm related by blood to... one Mom.

I have some people on the route that insist I call them Grandma *blank* or Pappy because "thats what everyone calls me".