It's my body dammit!

[Seshat]

Mine is not only cool, but decorated. It's good to know my IUD is perfectly placed. (A later ultrasound tech told me that.)

Amethyst Hunter: I agree with most of what you said, and my minor disagreements are too minor to really be bothered with.

As for your contraception: if you find that hormonal methods don't suit you, an IUD (depending on type) lasts ten years. Two IUDs will take me past my predicted menopause date.

[AFPheonix]

I also find it disgusting that a man can get Viagra covered by insurance, no questions asked, while most insurances refuse to puke up one cent for women's birth control or sterilization procedures. Gender equality, my ass, there is.

I'd love to know what insurance covers viagra and other ED drugs regularly, no questions asked. I rarely see it covered, and we dispense quite a bit of viagra, levitra, and cialis, and the occasional fill of revatio.
Usually it's only covered after a doctor goes through the prior authorization process, and usually only for guys who are unable to perform due to special circumstance, which rules out most of the diabetics and heart disease peeps.

Maybe it's just my state, (Oregon requires companies by law to cover birth control) but most plans WILL cover birth control to a degree. I see few these days that don't, typically out of state plans. Even those very often will cover certain types of BC and the patient and doctor didn't do a good job researching what would and wouldn't be covered under the patient's plan.
That being said, I'm a little miffled with my own plan these days because they switched carriers and now my preferred prescription is a tier 3 med and is $45 per month, retail. Bleah. They'd probably cover an oral version better, but I know me and my track record for taking stuff by mouth on time, and it ain't that great.

[blas87]

On the other hand, do men get hassled as often as women when they want to be snipped? Do the doctors give them the runaround or try to tell them not to? How old does a man have to be to have that done?

EDIT: You guys must have some really sucky insurance because my Depo shot is 100% covered. I don't pay a penny. I can't speak for the Pill or other forms of BC, but the shot is definetly free on my policy.

[AFPheonix]

Mine is only available as brand, so that's probably why they're being extra stinky about it.
As for the Seasonale, when there's a generic available for a med, but a patient requests the brand, they almost always pay a higher copay. Sometimes the copay goes down if the doctor indicates the brand is medically necessary, though.

[Luna]

The biggest reason I started birth control was to control my periods. They were intense, left me crying in bed for days and bled so heavy one doctor debated running me to emergency. They also showed up when they wanted with no warning. Sometimes twice a year. Sometimes twice a month.

I just never stopped taking them.

Thanks so much for the info everyone. I truly appreciate it.

[MadMike]

On the other hand, do men get hassled as often as women when they want to be snipped?

They didn't with me. Just gave me something to read, which reminded me it was permanent, and that while it's reversable, reversing isn't always successful. Then the doctor went over the same things. Once I indicated that I was sure I wanted to have it done, there were no more questions, warnings, or disclaimers, except several reminders that I wouldn't be sterile until about two months afterwards.

I've heard that that's the way it is -- most doctors don't have a problem with sterilizing a man at any age or regardless of whether he's fathered children, but very few will do a woman under a certain age, and especially if she's never given birth.

[Seshat]

but very few will do a woman under a certain age, and especially if she's never given birth.

And by the time we're 'old enough', those of us for whom an IUD is effective are only one or two IUDs away from menopause anyway. Which is why I'm using one of those. (Probably two over my lifetime - this one'll be due for renewal before I'm naturally sterile.)

It's so FRUSTRATING to be treated like an emotional infant!

[NightAngel]

I think there are a couple of factors that go into them not hassling men as much as women.

First:
As previously stated- the proceedure for a woman is actually a major surgery.
It's not for a man.

Second:
Women's hormones can change drastically and turn on the Biological Mommy Clock at any time. Trust me on this. Generally speaking men don't go through that. They may want kids but it's not the same.

[Seshat]

Women's hormones can change drastically and turn on the Biological Mommy Clock at any time. Trust me on this.

When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I went all Mommy Clock. But I sat down, thought things through, and realised that what I actually wanted was the choice. PCOS was (potentially) denying me the choice of whether to have children or not.

Once I recognised that, I spent some time mulling over the choice once-and-for-all. And decided to get sterilised. I already might have been, but this way I'd be sure, and it'd be my own decision.

Only I discovered that the doctors ruled that decision.

And I stepped back again, thought about how poorly my body really heals, and got an IUD instead. Copper-T, good for ten years. Once this one's up, I'll get another, and I'll probably be past menopause when that one's ready to be removed.



The doctor who inserted it was a Family Planning doctor, chosen because she's an IUD insertion expert. She warned me that being a nullipara (never any children), my cervix might be too tight for the insertion. (It wasn't.) For those who are considering it, that is an issue.


Below, I ended up summarising the info I have on IUDs. I may as well leave it in - a significant subset of people reading this thread will probably appreciate knowing more about one of their choices.
However, if it's going to bore you, skim to the next post.

* If you have a retrovert or a bicornate uterus, or one with any other anatomical abnormality, the doctor may be unwilling to insert it. Let them say no, ask for a referral to someone more skilled, but don't try to push a doctor who's unwilling to insert an IUD. A bad insertion can perforate your uterine wall, and then you've got major problems. Go to whichever doctor in your area is most used to inserting IUDs. Usually that'll be a Family Planning/Planned Parenthood/etc doctor. Our FP had two IUD specialists, most of what they did was IUD consultations, IUD pap smears, and insertions and removals.

* There is a small risk of problems in the insertion or removal, as I implied in the last paragraph. The risk is proportional to the skill of the doctor - I strongly recommend Family Planning/Planned Parenthood/etc. Any clinic where there are doctors whose primary business is contraception, and which may even have IUD specialists (our local one does).

* If your sex life isn't in a closed-circle (you and one other, or a triad or quad or other group that all only has sex with each other), an IUD is a risky choice. There is a string which hangs outside the cervix, to allow removal, and that string theoretically can be a passage for disease to enter the uterus. The Dalkon Shield had a particular type of string that did that, and became notorious for it. Modern IUDs have a different type of string and (as far as I've been able to research) the current strings don't let disease travel to the uterus. But doctors will be much, much happier to fit an IUD for someone in a monogamous pairing.
Personally, I'd say that a trio or quad who have a strong commitment to staying 'clean', don't stray outside the group, and have all been tested is just as safe as a married couple, and much safer than a married couple where one or both 'wander'.

* If you have a copper allergy, don't use the copper T. If you react poorly to hormones, think carefully about risking the Mirena (hormonal) IUD. The doctor told me the Mirena hormones stay in the uterine area, but it's something to consider. Of course, an IUD is extremely reversible, so it's a (comparatively) low-risk and low-cost thing to try.

* Your pap smears will need to be taken by someone who can do pap smears with an IUD inserted. If the Family Planning/Planned Parenthood/whatever you go to is convenient, use them. They'll almost certainly have a suitable doctor on staff.

* You (or your sex partner) are asked to check the strings every so often. Just to make sure they're there, and not noticeably longer or shorter than usual.

* Insertion hurts. I presume removal does, too. I described it as my cervix complaining that nothing that big is supposed to go through it THAT way. It ached for the rest of the day, and was sort of uncomfortable the day after. But it's a pain I can bear once every ten years or so.

* Note that 'that big' is actually very, very small. The hollow tube they insert it through is thinner than a drinking straw. The IUD itself is tiny! About the size of a small dangly earring. It's just that the cervix is used to cell-sized things going upwards, not drinking-straw sized.
Hm. I wonder if I could buy a couple of IUDs to use for jewelry?

* Some people with IUDs report that their periods change. Some say heavier, some say lighter. I have PCOS - my periods are stuffed up anyway - so I just shrug my shoulders and say 'I dunno'.

* Some people are never happy with their IUD: fortunately, it's completely removable. Unless the insertion or removal has gone wrong, you should return completely to normal after the removal. Use a skilled doctor.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I've never wanted kids; I never even played with dolls as a child. When I walk past a baby, I don't go all googoo eyes like some of my friends do, I just think "Look, a baby." I am 28 years old and neither me or my boyf want kids; yet, I can't get my tubes tied and won't til I am at least 35. I might have to strong arm my boyf into getting the snip instead of going thru all that hassle.

I originally, like Luna, went on the pill cuz of my terrible periods and PMS. My periods were irregular, horribly heavy; ie, I had to change the pads every couple of hours and I also got cramps, stomach ache and headaches so bad, I would end up in bed ill for days at a time. My PMS resulted in cramps, headaches and monster mood swings; turning me into the bastard child of Godzilla then suddenly swinging to crying floods of tears and being so miserable I wanted to die. The pill saved me from all that and I've taken it ever since; even if my tubes were tied, I'd still have to take it so I didn't go back to those days.

[Greenday]

I'm sure if I asked my regular doctor about getting snipped, he'd laugh at me. I just don't like kids. I like my lil cousins, and that's about it. I love my sleep. LOVE it. If I have to get up every couple of hours throughout the night, then go spend 8+ hours in the lab, I'll never make it. But being only 19 (20 in March), I doubt too many doctors would want to do me a favor and snip me.

[NightAngel]

When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I went all Mommy Clock.

I think yours was kind of different than what I mean.
What I mean is when your body tells you that you REALLY want to be pregnant.
I mean REALLY want it- it can be driving and all you can think about almost. I can't really describe it but if it ever happens you'll definately know.

That's just nature's way of keeping the species going- the drive to procreate.

[Seshat]

Hrm. I'm 38, and that's never happened to me. I'm not doubting you! I'm just curious. I wonder what percentage of the population gets that, and what percentage doesn't - and what controls it?

[NightAngel]

I am positive it's hormones, but then, I'm not a doctor. I was trying to Google something up but apparently I'm not wording it right.

Think about it though- our hormones can make us happy, sad, cranky, crave foods, crave or despise sex, etc.

[Seshat]

And my hormones are seriously screwed up in a number of ways. It makes a kind of sense.