Mother wants teacher who called her daughter a loser to be let go

[elsporko]

I bet its impossible that the daughter was already being picked on and having a teacher encourage her being picked on was too much. Nope, thats impossible. Obviously the daughter was the most popular girl in school until her evil mother swept in like a witch hell bent on ruining her life. I bet the teacher didn't even write loser, he actually wrote looser, like in "Hang looser girl, you so awesome" but evil mom used white out to take away most of that sentence and this great teacher who did nothing wrong and helps orphans in his spare time may lose his job because of the evil mother who is going after him for no reason.

[Greenday]

And there are children out there with low self esteem and then this teacher comes along and calls them "loser"?

Yes, I'm sure these honors kids who keep getting grades about 100 REALLY have self-esteem issues about their grades. I really am

And I'm very offended by the comments that mother is taking this out of context and the teacher should be left alone. The teacher should be learning to bond with the students in a way that doesn't erode their self esteem.

Honors kids who regularly get 100+ grades
As I was recently a kid, I can assure you friends jokingly call each other losers. In fact, even in college, we still do. We have teachers who do it and we love them for it.

I don't buy it for a second that it was necessary to go to the media over a non-issue.

[IDrinkaRum]

Just because a kid gets a 100+ on their homework doesn't mean they don't have self-esteem issues.

I was one of those kids.

I was a nerd, a dork, too good to be with the "normal" kids because I was "too intelligent".

That doesn't also include the comments on my weight (first I was "too skinny" - I was heroine chic before it became popular, then I was "too fat", I liked the "wrong music", I had "too poofy" hair, etc., etc.)

Do you think that doesn't get to people?

If you're getting 100%+ on homework, there's something wrong with you.

If you're getting less than 100% on homework, there's something wrong with you.

Just because you do good in school doesn't make you suddenly above rumors, bullies, etc., and it definitely doesn't make you immune to having low self-esteem.

No child should be called a "loser". No matter who is doing the name calling. No matter if they think it's a form of "bonding".

No matter how smart, how pretty, how whatever, if you get a A PERSON WHO IS IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY calling you "ugly", "fat", "loser", or anything else, that's going to erode your self-esteem no matter if it's not true and you're getting 100%+ on your homework/quizzes/tests.

That's what many people are ignoring: A PERSON OF AUTHORITY.

And please re-read the article: The. mother. talked. to. the. principal. They said it'd stop. It did and then it started again. Again, I'd do anything to make it stop permanently.

[Gravekeeper]

Again, I'd do anything to make it stop permanently.

Including dragging her through a media circus, making your child's life hell and ruining her education? Seriously? At what point do you realize "Wait, I'm doing more damage to my child then the word "loser" ever did"? They'll have to move out of the state for this poor girl to find a new school to go to, and even then mommy made sure to hit the national news so there's still a chance she'll be recognized.

When I had a problem with my grade 9 math teacher that was causing me to fail his classes. My mom didn't freak out or go straight to the principal or the newspaper. She went and talked to him directly. A couple of times. When she saw no change, she gave him a piece of her mind, went to the principal and had me taken out of his class and placed in someone else's.

....end of story. Fancy that.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

There's a lot of flak flying back and forth over details we don't have. We don't have a very clear picture of the context of the word "Loser", only that it was used and then, jokingly. We don't know if the daughter had a problem with it, or if she had issues with self-esteem. We've got absolutely nothing to suggest that the mother's over-reaction was really in any way justified.

If all I had was this information, that from the article, I wouldn't raise a fucking finger till I talked to the girl. Did she dislike it? If yes, follow the chain of command, if no, do nothing. Campaigning against problems that 'may' be is a waste of time when we've got all of the actual problems.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Plus, there's always talking to the school board or even, gasp, taking the girl out of that class or even out of the school. Since the mother stirred up this shitstorm, that poor kid will be lucky if she's able to attend another school in the whole state; even if she does manage to get in somewhere, she'll be forever known as "that girl who got that teacher done" and will become a target for bullies. I fail to see how all that helps that girl one bit.

[Savannah]

Honors kids who regularly get 100+ grades
As I was recently a kid, I can assure you friends jokingly call each other losers. In fact, even in college, we still do. We have teachers who do it and we love them for it.

I'm in college. I don't have what anyone would call low self-esteem. I regularly get 100%+ grades. If a professor called me a loser, I would immediately go to the head of the department* and up the line until something major was done. Please don't assume that just because it wouldn't bother you means that it wouldn't bother her. Conversely, everyone on the other side shouldn't assume that it does bother the girl in question. We have no idea of the context of the comment.

I am maintaining my position that, because we DON'T KNOW what the girl in question thought, this part of the debate is pointless. Additionally, we DON'T KNOW exactly what steps the mother took before going to the media. We DON'T KNOW if she went straight from the principal to the media or if she tried other resources and was blown off. Yes, she could have moved her daughter, but if it was disturbing her daughter and other children who were too intimidated to speak up, she may have wanted to stop the teacher in any way she could. However, this is just speculation. I DON'T KNOW.

I don't see any point to this until we get more information, so I think I will withdraw from this thread. See you around

*not the prof, because I wouldn't be comfortable talking to him/her.

[IDrinkaRum]

Including dragging her through a media circus, making your child's life hell and ruining her education? Seriously? At what point do you realize "Wait, I'm doing more damage to my child then the word "loser" ever did"? They'll have to move out of the state for this poor girl to find a new school to go to, and even then mommy made sure to hit the national news so there's still a chance she'll be recognized.

When I had a problem with my grade 9 math teacher that was causing me to fail his classes. My mom didn't freak out or go straight to the principal or the newspaper. She went and talked to him directly. A couple of times. When she saw no change, she gave him a piece of her mind, went to the principal and had me taken out of his class and placed in someone else's.

....end of story. Fancy that.

Yes, actually, I would have a media circus. I'd invite them to my house, serve coffee or tea and some finger sandwiches, and have a very nice chat with them.

Again, the mother went to the principal, was told the "loser" comments would stop. They did. But they started again.

I'd try to get her pulled from the class, but sometimes, that doesn't work. Even if my daughter were pulled, there'd be problems. Teacher could say "Mistress X couldn't handle my jokes so her Mommy removed her from my class. LOSER!" Then the kids would make fun of her for not having a sense of humor.

I'd go to the school board. However, by that time, I'd have a lawyer with me, threatening to sue the county.

I'd also contact the (local) media.

I'll say it again, and please chew on this for a while:

A. person. of. authority. is calling a little. girl. a "loser".

If no one understands the wrongness of that concept, then I weep for humanity.

As an aside, there are parents who claim to agree with the teacher's way of teaching, but they're not publicly defending him.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm not defending the teacher in the slightest. All I'm doing is pointing out that the mother's method of dealing with what the teacher did is the equivilent of using a sledgehammer to crush an ant, and is at best giving the girl more of a complex and at worst, wrecking her education, life and future actions.

[Boozy]

If no one understands the wrongness of that concept, then I weep for humanity.

I completely understand how wrong that is. I think the teacher should be disciplined.

But parents need to make tough decisions. Sometimes what's "right" and "just" is nevertheless not in the best interest of their child. Sometimes a parent needs to set principles aside and put their child's welfare above all else. In this case, I don't see how subjecting this child to national media attention - and releasing her photograph to the media - is in her best interest.

The mother's goal should have been to make sure her child was no longer subjected to a teacher's insults. There are ways to do this without making a federal case out of it. Hell, she could have even sued without releasing that kind of sensitive information to the public.

I think this mother was irate. I don't blame her. But she was unable to set her anger aside to see what she was doing to her child. That was a failure in judgement every bit as heinous as the teacher's.

[Gravekeeper]

I think this mother was irate. I don't blame her. But she was unable to set her anger aside to see what she was doing to her child. That was a failure in judgement every bit as heinous as the teacher's.

Thank you, Boozy. Thats the point I'm trying to make.

A. person. of. authority. is calling a little. girl. a "loser".

And a person of even more authority in this child's life is dragging that same little girl through a media circus far more damaging then being called a "loser" would have been. In the interests of her own personal crusade.

Two wrongs do not make a right, to borrow the cliche.

[elsporko]

I find it weird that people oppose bringing attention to this situation, but are fine with bringing attention to the lesbian prom situation. Is it okay to bring attention to a problem only if some sort of minority is involved? Teachers teasing kids is a huge problem, hopefully this brings attention to that problem and gets some of those teachers to stop.

[gremcint]

I find it weird that people oppose bringing attention to this situation, but are fine with bringing attention to the lesbian prom situation. Is it okay to bring attention to a problem only if some sort of minority is involved? Teachers teasing kids is a huge problem, hopefully this brings attention to that problem and gets some of those teachers to stop.

It's about who asked for the attention not who received it. Kid asked for attention? give it to the kid. Parent asked for attention? Give it to the parent, however the kid is receiving the attention when the parent asked for it.