9 students charged with bullying that lead to a suicide

[Hobbs]

Hmm, didn't quite mean it like that. I mean, I think this is the first group of people I've met that have been on the recieving end of bullying (I've heard about it in the news, such as the article this thread is based one). I don't really have an argument or point to this statement, I just felt it was worth sharing.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I will interject and say that once, and once alone, did my parents get the police involved in my bullying. This was the only time when the bullies got physical; they jumped me after I'd gotten off the bus a stop earlier to go to the library. They got me when I was walking home and seeing as when I was eleven, I was small and thin, I didn't stand a chance. One of the girls even banged my head into the pavement. As soon as I got home, my mum took one look at my injuries and called the police. As a result, all the bitches were taken to the police station and cautioned. They obviously realised that they'd gone too far... and instead, stepped down the assaults to just tripping, pinching, pulling hair, slapping and scratching, and only on school grounds.

And no, the school did nothing whatsoever. They also told me that I had to do things to ensure I was left alone; for example, walking away from bullies; ignoring the bullies; being less antisocial; getting involved in more class activities. The headmaster even once said that the reason I got picked on was cuz I was determined not to fit in and was obviously suffering from a personality disorder. Strange how they suddenly leapt into action the moment I started fighting back. Of course, that was in third year, after I'd had a growth spurt, had gained several stones due to my compulsive eating disorder, and was seriously stressed after being tortured for three years.

[Crazedclerkthe2nd]

Hmm, didn't quite mean it like that. I mean, I think this is the first group of people I've met that have been on the recieving end of bullying (I've heard about it in the news, such as the article this thread is based one). I don't really have an argument or point to this statement, I just felt it was worth sharing.

Well there are quite a few in my circle of friends who have been bullied at one time or another so if you don't know anyone who has been I'd say that's pretty rare.

[Kimmik]

I have a question, to both Plaidman and Amanita. If the school administration was so callous, why didn't you go to the police? Or did your districts not have a police department?

For me I lived in a small county and many of my bullies were sons and relatives of cops... think the good ole boy syndrome. Also remember some places dont have school police.

[elsporko]

I will interject and say that once, and once alone, did my parents get the police involved in my bullying. This was the only time when the bullies got physical; they jumped me after I'd gotten off the bus a stop earlier to go to the library. They got me when I was walking home and seeing as when I was eleven, I was small and thin, I didn't stand a chance. One of the girls even banged my head into the pavement. As soon as I got home, my mum took one look at my injuries and called the police. As a result, all the bitches were taken to the police station and cautioned. They obviously realised that they'd gone too far... and instead, stepped down the assaults to just tripping, pinching, pulling hair, slapping and scratching, and only on school grounds.

And no, the school did nothing whatsoever. They also told me that I had to do things to ensure I was left alone; for example, walking away from bullies; ignoring the bullies; being less antisocial; getting involved in more class activities. The headmaster even once said that the reason I got picked on was cuz I was determined not to fit in and was obviously suffering from a personality disorder. Strange how they suddenly leapt into action the moment I started fighting back. Of course, that was in third year, after I'd had a growth spurt, had gained several stones due to my compulsive eating disorder, and was seriously stressed after being tortured for three years.

Thats actually good advice. Sure it would be awesome if the world was perfect and everybody was nice and all injustices rectified but that doesn't happen. The school can do so much but there are alot more students then teachers. A good way to avoid bullying is to try to become less of a target. Does it suck having to play games like that? Yes it does. Would it be worth it to not be bullied? Well thats up to you.

[Amanita]

Why didn't I go to the police? Well, my mom huffed and blew about harrassment charges, but nothing was ever done. I was a scared kid, I didn't know that I had rights to take things into my own hands and talk to the cops myself, or escalate up the school board's chain of command.

And Elsporko, playing those games DOES NOT work. I tried playing the chameleon, making myself less of a target. It did not work. No matter what clothes I wore, I got picked on. If it wasn't the clothes, then the hair was a problem. Or my weight. Should I have also gone on a diet and done my hair "just so" for those feral assholes? Ignoring was no help either- they just escalate the abuse, and keep upping the ante to the point where any sane human would snap. Stay away from them? Kinda hard to do if they like to follow you, hunt you down wherever you try to go.
I can tell you from bitter experience- playing the game, and going along to get along, conforming will NOT work. Because no matter what you do, it will never be enough. Get razzed because you don't have the right clothes? You go out and get new clothes, to be more in line with what's "trendy". But then your hair is a problem. Or your glasses, skin, weight, you don't have all the right "toys".
I'm convinced that even if you took school children, shaved their heads and issued them scrubs to wear and flip flops, and forbade any adornment or personal expression beyond that (think those child-soldiers in "Dark Angel"), then the bullies would still find things to start shit over.

[Fryk]

"Well they all say they didn't, why would they all lie?"

I HATE HATE HATE FUCKING HATE that line, no matter where it's used. What, am I supposed to do my job for you? There's never been a case in history, even recent history, where a group of people pick a story and stick to it? It really reeks of laziness and apathy. "Well, 6 people said X. To dig further would be work, so I'm just going to leave it at that."

[Lace Neil Singer]

Thats actually good advice. Sure it would be awesome if the world was perfect and everybody was nice and all injustices rectified but that doesn't happen. The school can do so much but there are alot more students then teachers. A good way to avoid bullying is to try to become less of a target. Does it suck having to play games like that? Yes it does. Would it be worth it to not be bullied? Well thats up to you.

I tried that for two, nearly three years; and it didn't work. I tried hard to work against my then undiagnosed Aspergers and socialise; it didn't work, the bullies just saw thru my efforts to be like them and bullied me all the more. I tried to fake an interest in the vapid and to me, boring, interests of the other girls; it didn't work. I simply could not convincingly fake an interest in Take That, D:Ream, Boyzone, Sweet Valley High and the other things that were hip with the popular crowd. I eventually stopped bothering; I didn't see then, and I don't see now, why I should be the one to make the effort to stop the bullies picking on me.

Let's say that your advice was applied to a girl who'd been sexually assaulted. Do you still think it's good advice?

[blas87]

No one should have to compromise who they are to avoid being physically bullied and assaulted. No one. Ever.

That's got to be a shitty way to go through life, but I'm glad it works for some to become someone else that "blends in" so no one will ever harrass you.

[BlaqueKatt]

I HATE HATE HATE FUCKING HATE that line, no matter where it's used. What, am I supposed to do my job for you? There's never been a case in history, even recent history, where a group of people pick a story and stick to it? It really reeks of laziness and apathy. "Well, 6 people said X. To dig further would be work, so I'm just going to leave it at that."

I'm getting this at work right now...I work with a bully..I've reported it..I get from management-"well she says she never called you a "fat disgusting pig" and we didn't hear it, plus she so nice" now they've added if I have another "meltdown" from her harassment-I'll be fired, because it takes too much of the manager's time to calm me down...but please if there's any further problems don't hesitate to let us know.....

[Fryk]

That's why I think it would be awesome if I taped my day.

"Oh, she said she didn't? Let's go to the tape!"

[ditchdj]

Hearing more and more about this story, I can't help but wonder why this generation growing up is so full of anger and hate??? And then wonder what they did wrong, like they don't even know how to act??? A group of kids bully someone to the point of suicide. A kid nearly beats a girl to death in Florida with a steel-toed boot. A mob of children in Milwaukee beat a grown man to deal. It's just one twisted story after another. And they ALL show NO remorse and think this is acceptable. What the hell is going on with this generation!!!! This is the generation that was supposed to NOT be spanked and was supposed to be given the BEST that we had to offer. I find this so disturbing.

[Plaidman]

Why ditch? Because its considered cool. Lots of shows and movies and coverage on murderers, and the vast fans they get. The songs based on it. The video games. I'm not saying that they are the CAUSE of the rampage, because it still the person. But they just see the /awesome/ side. Not the victim or the bad side.

[Amanita]

There seems to be a lot of lax discipline, and lack of boundary setting- too many parents are too afraid of being the "bad guy" and thus fail to set and enforce limits. Hence a crapload of kids who care nothing for others, only for their own fun.

[Rageaholic]

I will interject and say that once, and once alone, did my parents get the police involved in my bullying. This was the only time when the bullies got physical; they jumped me after I'd gotten off the bus a stop earlier to go to the library. They got me when I was walking home and seeing as when I was eleven, I was small and thin, I didn't stand a chance. One of the girls even banged my head into the pavement. As soon as I got home, my mum took one look at my injuries and called the police. As a result, all the bitches were taken to the police station and cautioned. They obviously realised that they'd gone too far... and instead, stepped down the assaults to just tripping, pinching, pulling hair, slapping and scratching, and only on school grounds.

And no, the school did nothing whatsoever. They also told me that I had to do things to ensure I was left alone; for example, walking away from bullies; ignoring the bullies; being less antisocial; getting involved in more class activities. The headmaster even once said that the reason I got picked on was cuz I was determined not to fit in and was obviously suffering from a personality disorder. Strange how they suddenly leapt into action the moment I started fighting back. Of course, that was in third year, after I'd had a growth spurt, had gained several stones due to my compulsive eating disorder, and was seriously stressed after being tortured for three years.

And looking back at some of the kids in school, why would I want to fit in with them? Most of them were evil little assholes (with a few exceptions). I was always the oddball who did my own thing. I wasn't into power rangers, I didn't have nintendo (though I always wanted one), and I liked math and numbers (gasp!). Luckly, many of the teachers were cool about it, but I did get crap from some of them for not being social enough.