Woman becomes fed up with 7 y/o adopted Russian son...

[Caveat Emptor]

...so she attaches a note to him saying he's "psychotic", puts him on a plane and "returns" him to Russia...like he's a defective appliance!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100409/...ia_adopted_boy

[Ree]

That's just messed up.

FFS, if you aren't willing to put in the work involved in being a parent, whether you end up with a child with emotional issues or not, then you don't deserve to be a parent.

So many people go into adoption with this idea that things are going to be all rosy and sunshine.

In many cases, adoptions are wonderful, but every so often, especially with international adoptions where you don't always have the whole story, you do end up with a child whose early days were traumatic and as a result, the child has lasting problems.

For an adoptive parent to not even consider that before adopting and then, to just toss the kid back onto the heap as if he's trash is disgusting.

This story makes me angry.

[tropicsgoddess]

Wow, that's just wrong. If she was a good parent as she claimed to be, she still would've had the child with her AND put forth more efforts for working on whatever problems he had. Instead of dropping him off on a plane back to Russia with a note on how psychotic he was.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Makes me angry, too.

My friend adopted a little girl from China. She was about 20 months old when they brought her home (she's 3 now). She has special needs, which they're not entirely sure what they are just yet. (Part of it is just delays from having been in an orphanage for the first year+ of her life, but there is apparently more going on). They have no intention of "sending her back." They may be more prepared than most people, though, since my friend is an occupational therapist, and her husband is a teacher and has a brother who is mentally and physically handicapped. They also have an older daughter (6) and a baby son (a little over 4 months old now).

[blas87]

Who knows, maybe he is Esther's brother?

Kidding aside, that's just sick and sad. That poor kid.

[LewisLegion]

I don't agree with what she did at all. However I do think that if the russian orphanage was aware of any behavioral problems they should have disclosed them to the adoptive family before the adoption went through.

That aside, it totally sucks what the family did.

[Ree]

I do think that if the russian orphanage was aware of any behavioral problems they should have disclosed them to the adoptive family before the adoption went through.

True, but sometimes, the behaviours don't become apparent until the child is a little older.

Sometimes, too, it's the uprooting and moving to a strange country, surrounded by strange people speaking a strange language that causes the problems.

It's difficult to know.

I do agree, though, that it should have been disclosed if they were aware of any problems.

[fireheart17]

This is just wrong.

It also makes me wonder if this is why people are so hell-bent on adopting babies rather than older children?

[AdminAssistant]

It also makes me wonder if this is why people are so hell-bent on adopting babies rather than older children?

For the same reason that people would rather get a puppy at an animal shelter than an older dog. Sad, but likely true. Not that people shouldn't adopt babies, but there should be more fosters and adoptees for older kids.

[Fryk]

Jesus, this isn't Wal-Mart, lady. The child is NOT defective merchandise!!

Does anyone know where you can find out what the proper steps are if you find yourself unable to care for an internationally adopted child? I positive what she did was NOT it, but I'm wondering what she should have done.

[ditchdj]

Read the news lately??? Personally I think we've got enough of our own share of psychotic, mentally unstable children to deal with that we seem to ignore or dont have the resources to take care of anyway. We are NOT in ANY way in a position to take on other psychotic kids from other countries.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Read the news lately??? Personally I think we've got enough of our own share of psychotic, mentally unstable children to deal with that we seem to ignore or dont have the resources to take care of anyway. We are NOT in ANY way in a position to take on other psychotic kids from other countries.

"But America is the land of possibilities! where everyone has more money than they need and, as a whole, capable of ANYTHING!"

It's open-ended double-edged sarcastic statements like this that piss me off. You hear this one implying that America sucks when the president says he wants to save the world, or that America is awesome when there's starving Ethiopians on the cover of Times. Everyone, everywhere needs to get a swift kick to the head and realize that the US is just another country, with rich people, regular people, and poor people like anyplace else. We sure as hell aren't the worst, but that doesn't make us the best. None of which makes us (or, if it were someone else, them) obligated feed the world's hungry and clothe the world's naked. Like anyone else, the individuals herein may choose to help someone less fortunate, or as a whole decide to help another country less fortunate, if so, that's nice, if not, whatever...

I say most of this, especially in light of my recent debates in the wonderful world of community college. But that's a rant for another thread.

Anyway, the school should have revealed any disorders that were present, the parents should have done better than just shipping him off, but it's understandable that they might not have been able to take care of him regardless of how shitty their reaction to that possible fact was. Peace out.

[Boozy]

But that's a rant for another thread.

Indeed.

US foreign and immigration policy is beyond the scope of this debate. Let's keep this one on the adoption issue alone.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Indeed.

US foreign and immigration policy is beyond the scope of this debate. Let's keep this one on the adoption issue alone.

Seeing as I wasn't talking about policy but rather the attitudes surrounding foreign adoptions (among other things) I think it's perfectly relevant. Not to the specific case perhaps but most definitely 'the larger issue' so to speak. Which happens to be foreign adoption, so not only is the 'Let's save the world!' attitude pertinent but so would immigration/emigration policy should the topic shift towards the legality of sticking the kid on a plane and shipping him back.

[draggar]

I hope some serious charges are pressed against the mother and grandmother (child endangement, etc..).