Branded a freak for being me.

[Plaidman]

Unless you are projecting your hobbies, lifestyle, whatever, how do people even know about it? My thinking is if you're going to go a week without bathing, walk around wearing a dragon shirt, and talk to random people in the comic book about things they don't care about then you should be prepared for the natural consequences.

Alot of people took offense to the above, but I think Red Panda didn't mean to word it in that way. There is a difference between people like me and others here who enjoy their hobbies, embrace them and such, versus those who FLING it on others. The people Red Panda means, are basically what I'm bitching about in terms of THIS IS COOL! YOU ARE STUPID FOR NOT LIKING THIS!", except instead of them being /average/ and /cool/ (which are subjective BTW), they are what people consider geeks. I've known some myself. One of my friends is a man who is rather obese, never baths, thick glasses, constantly talks down on people if they dare like anything but Linx, hates all religious except his own (It's an Asian one. I forget what it was. I asked if it was Buddism and he got rather angry), will dominate on any his subjects, and if you can't keep up then yeah. Needless to say, I don't talk to him much. I don't do that however. I don't insult others for not liking fantasy. I don't dominate a subject on my hobbies in converstations.

How it came up was recently was during my writing class. Due to alot of events that happened there, alot of people were ether transfered to another class, dropped out, or in one person case expelled permentally, so its a third of what it once was. We're all pretty different in terms of hobbies, but we get along. One of the guys there was asking if I wanted to join them Saturday night for drinking and to get me a /lapdance/ due to alot of my writings being pretty depressing. I said thanks, but I had a game to go to. They looked confused, and asked what I played cause they've all seen my hip and limping and lack of fast walking. I told them I played Dungeons and Dragons. Most were OK, but some of the people there, who still think in terms of high school herd snickered.
"So uh, is that the game where you have to like, kill people to play?" *much giggling*

ME: Nah, those are only for those who play on Fridays, not Saturdays. And only on Fridays that fall on the thirteen.

Some other people laughed. The man who asked me that just kinda stared at me, confusing in his eyes.

ME: "....So.... how about that oil spill"

Man: So, do you put curses on people?"

ME: "Dude, lets just drop it ok? I don't rant on your Ultimate fighting fetish"

Man: "Well that's a real sport! People understand that. You can get out, get exersise, talk to people"

Teacher then started class. I got strange and wierd looks. Later on, a girl I had a major crush on kinda asked me if I was planning on sucking her blood for a sick game, and she was dead serious.

I didn't deserve that. And the girl was ok with it said it would hafve been fine anyway cause she likes my geekiness.

Do I wear dragon shirts? Sometimes. One of my fave is a button up white shirt with a dragon made in lines along the side and my sleeve. No-one can tell it's a dragon cause how it looks, but alot like it.

It was worst in my younger years. I don't think I would have survived if I started playing DnD at a much younger age.

[radiocerk]

Gods, I miss my Friday night games, but up here the only gamers I know are interested in playing the shoot-em up, more militaristic RPGs. And there is no problem with that, but it's not my thing.

Ah, the people with their own "fascinations". One of the guys at work says "Everyone's a geek for something." Might be sports, might be military stuff, might be Twilight, might be professional wrestling, might be $300 purses and shoes. Why are these things considered more "acceptable" than fantasy, sci-fi, cosplay, SCA? I have no idea, and frankly, I don't think it will ever change, especially not in my lifetime. So, I roll my eyes a lot, and don't let the opinions of the "sheep" get to me.

** By sheep, I mean only those who are so far into pop culture and what is and is not "socially acceptable" that they couldn't get out of their box with a sword and flamethrower.

[the_std]

Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but being different does not make you special. Just because you are not like everyone else doesn't make you better than them. If you're a transsexual Scientologist who has a PhD in Russian and can make love standing on your head... Good for you. As long as you're happy, that's awesome. However, it doesn't elevate you above those who are the status quo Christian/heterosexual/degree in commerce type. I know many of you don't mean it this way, but these threads always seem to turn into "I'm special because I'm all of these things!" penis-showing contest. Like I said before, that's great for you, but everyone is weird in some way. Life isn't really a "whoever is weirder, wins" game.

It is good to be proud of yourself and it's great that you feel at home among the other people on this forum who are accepting and tolerant. Hell, I'm pretty weird myself. But it all comes back to how one defines themselves. Are you you because you're a Scientologist? Or a transsexual? Or are those just pieces of you? I am generally frustrated by people who identify themselves by the things they enjoy or do, rather than who they are. People who introduce themselves as an Eagles fan, or a Raiders fan, or... Well, anything, really, is kind of irking to me. Why can't you be you, and those be things you enjoy, rather than things you are?

I didn't mean to offend anyone in this post, but it's something I see a lot of here, even in this thread.

[Plaidman]

I didn't mean to offend anyone in this post, but it's something I see a lot of here, even in this thread.

Didn't offend me. Everyone is a person, and people all have parts of things that are unique, but it doesn't elvate them above everyone else.

I feel like because of my hobbies, and how alot of people I'm physically close to in terms of space rather then internet reacts to me, that I am indeed a lesser form of person over them.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Nonsense! The things that make us unique are the things that make us human, screw the hipsters and just be yourself. If they have a problem with that, fuck em, if they act superior about that, fuck em.

[the_std]

WH, what do you mean by "being human"? Because technically, our genes are what make us human. It has nothing to do with our differences. And this is a part of what I'm talking about, the need in a certain segment of the population to be so different, so unique. A desire for individuality is natural, but some take it even further, striving to make sure they're only parts of a population that is always in the minority, because they think it makes them them. And people who do that generally turn to things to showcase that, rather than being secure in their individuality even if they share traits with other people. Is it insecurity? I'm not sure why, but I do find it interesting.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Why is it when you use a word outside of it's scientific context people always but in with the scientific context? I think you know exactly what I meant, or do I really have to put 'as opposed to autonomous, soulless robots' in there as clarification?

Words have more than one context and the one I'm using is quite obviously not scientific, rather spiritual (for lack of a better word). IMO the fact that we aren't all the same is vital to humanity (as in the quality of being human) as opposed to a situation in which everyone is exactly the same.

[the_std]

"Being human" has many, MANY possible contexts, and I was asking what context you were referring to. Some people think that our thumbs make us human, or our ability to rationalize and be logical... I was merely asking which definition you were using. I want to know why people have be so completely individualized. I wasn't trying to be pedantic, I was trying to make a point about how some people define themselves by things that might not necessarily be... Them. That might be something they enjoy or do. I acknowledged that being individual is natural, but I'm asking why we have to be so unique, so different, from absolutely everyone else? Are we that insecure that we can't be ourselves if we resemble other people?

[blas87]

I totally get what you're saying, std. It's pretty sad that some really serious threads just turn into contests on who can one up each other on who is dorkier or weirder etc etc....

[radiocerk]

People just can't relate to those outside their monkeysphere. Pure and simple. EVERYONE is individual, no two people are duplicates. But when you shun those who do not wish to become your clones, you are being childish, immature and self-centered. An adult stance is to accept the strangeness around you, and if you can't do that, just ignore it.

[Rebel]

It also might have to do with the fact that whilst we're all individuals, we do like to belong to a group. That's where like-minded people stick together. And each group of people don't fully understand other groups.

I am a TV and movie geek, but only certain shows and movies.
I just spent $500 for a ticket to a Supernatural convention. If given the chance, I would do the same with Stargate, Star Trek, Farscape, and Serenity.
But you can go to hell if you think I would be seen dead in a Twilight, Smallville, Battlestar Galactica, Gossip Girl, or Lost convention.

I am also not in the group of people who would dress up to go. Just not my thing, but it's fun to see what other people can do.

Freakishness is in the eye of the beholder.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I have no intention of being alone in my freakishness; imagine my joy when I first got online, and found there were others like me. I'm not one of those people who actually revels in being friendless and alone, sitting in their basement writing endless poems about how rejected they are by the world and that they are the only unique human being on the planet. I do actually want to find groups of fellow obsessers.

For example, before I discovered the joys of the internet, I was the only person in my neck of the woods who liked Kiss. Most people either scoffed at my obsession, trashed the band, or said, "Oh, they did Crazy Crazy Nights". However, once online, I could actively seek out other Kiss fans.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's a big difference in accepting differences, and being a dick. If someone for example deliberately goes to a fansite in order to troll, that makes them a dick. If in real life someone goes up to a guy wearing a Dungeons And Dragons shirt and insults them, that makes them a dick. You don't have to like the same things everyone else does; however, you can help singling people out for abuse just cuz they like different stuff to you.

[Boozy]

Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but being different does not make you special.

I was tempted to quote your entire post, because I agreed with every single word. But that would have been over-quoting, and I'd have to give myself an infraction.

There's only one thing I would add: Many people claiming to be "different" are listing off interests that are more or less mainstream.

BDSM, for example. Something like 1 in every 2 couples have experimented with light bondage and power-play in the bedroom. It's such a common "kink" that it can't really be considered a kink.

Now, a real BDSM aficionado is going to have a bunch of gear and outfits, and maybe get into more pain, maybe bring elements of it into their everyday relationship....but that's a quantitative difference, not qualitative. They've got more commitment, but not necessarily more "quirk" than the average person. Your mileage may vary.

A few other things that I've heard mentioned as proof of "I'm different" over the years:

Dungeons and Dragons. According to Wikipedia (I know, I know, slaughter me), an estimated 6 million people played the game in 2007. To put that in context: If a television program has 6 million viewers, it's considered very successful.

Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Two of the most popular movie franchises of all time. Not "edgy".

Being Goth. If I see one of our local high school students wearing something other than black, I'd be surprised. And it's not even a new trend. I was considered a "freak" in high school because I liked pastels. That was about 15 years ago.

I could go on.

The point is, when people get too focussed on what makes them different from everyone else, they put up a wall between themselves and others. If you walk down the street and think "These people are judging me", then you're not going to be very approachable. You might get an angry scowl on your face.

And then it's not the Star Trek t-shirt or combat boots you're wearing that scares people off. It's your attitude.

[Plaidman]

The point is, when people get too focussed on what makes them different from everyone else, they put up a wall between themselves and others. If you walk down the street and think "These people are judging me", then you're not going to be very approachable. You might get an angry scowl on your face.

And then it's not the Star Trek t-shirt or combat boots you're wearing that scares people off. It's your attitude.

True enough. I'm a very negative person, but I do tend for most part to keep a smile on my face when I'm out in public. I can talk to people better then I use to be able too. I'm more confident. But once that whole slip of gaming came out, it suddenly turned like a record player screech, and people changing their minds on what I once was. I'm still me. Just cause I game instead of drinking all night, doesn't change who I once was five minutes before that converstation.

[jackfaire]

The point is, when people get too focussed on what makes them different from everyone else, they put up a wall between themselves and others.

Thank you. Yet this is what diversity clubs encourage is "focus on the differences"