Branded a freak for being me.

[Amanita]

I tell other cosplayers not to take a "persecuted" attitude from the get-go when interacting with the public. Yeah, some people will be dicks. But people can also be surprisingly supportive and open-minded. If you go out expecting that everyone is out to get you, then it will probably show in your attitude and dealings with people. On the other hand, if you go out with an open mind and just focus on having fun, things tend to work much better. You come across as more friendly and approachable.

Now, if somebody DOES treat you badly, then you DO have the right to be pissed. Name-calling and hateful comments are a huge etiquette fail- see my thread in the Things I hate section, titled "looking different deserves disrespect". Yeah, some people say it's your fault for looking different, saying you like something different, whatever. But what about the person who says nasty things and acts like a dick? They should be called out, not given a "pass" for bad behavior. "I can't help it, you're a freak" is no excuse for bad behavior. Rather, it's a sign of poor impulse control and an immature mind.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

As with everything there's two extremes neither of which are correct/good. To define yourself solely on your conformity is equally as bad as to define yourself solely by eccentricity and while one should expect people to occasionally be dicks that doesn't excuse it.

So it's not that we need to figure out which to push, I think it's best to be happy with who you are. If that happens to be highly conformist or highly eccentric that is just the way of things. We should acknowledge and accept this part of life and not fight it, if only because that does more harm than good, IMO.

[AdminAssistant]

Yeah, I mean, I like the things I like. If someone asks me about it, then I will give my opinion (sometimes a bit forcefully). Otherwise I leave it alone.

One related thing I hate is that people assume that if your part of a certain group you like certain things. I study theatre. I cannot stand Glee. It's cheesy, tacky, and everything I can't stand about the modern Broadway musical (what I call tourist theatre). Plus, they're freakin' Auto-Tuned. You can hear the digitization of their voices in the songs and it drives me up a wall. Get some real singers for Pete's sake, and quit ripping off the work of other artists!

*ahem* Sorry. But you get the idea. Like what you like and screw the rest. And don't make any assumptions about anyone based on their entertainment preferences. A lot of my fellow grad students love silly reality TV, corny sitcoms, and other fluff. We're all so inundated with academese in our work/school that we don't want to read thick novels for fun. Our brains are weary and need a rest. Liking fluff doesn't make you a ditz. Conversely, the fact that you've read LOTR or Pride and Prejudice or War and Peace doesn't make you a genius either.

[Amanita]

Yeah. I remember a friend of mine saying why she got sick of hanging around art students. If you said you liked anything on TV, they would get right snotty. "Oh..you watch television?"
Like it was some sort of moral failing to actually watch a show for fun.
Personally, my tastes run the gamut from South Park to Shakespeare. And if anyone has a problem with that, fuck 'em.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I never said LOTR was edgy; just that no-one in my entire class at school liked it. Or at least, admitted to liking it; everyone was into Sweet Valley High. Never bashed that fad, by the way; I even read a few of the books to see what they were like. Just didn't see why the SVH fans had to constantly bash me for reading LOTR.

Also, some of you people are forgetting about small towns or in my case, small villages. I grew up in a tiny village where I was the only person to have certain interests. I eventually met my best friend, who shared those interests; it was as tho we'd been drawn together.

I never claim to be special; in fact, I hate that word. -.-

[Rageaholic]

I believe a lot of this prejudice has to do with stereotypes. For example, furries are more noticed for the few extremests who are into the sexual stuff. Never mind that there are plenty or furries who only like the art, people hate on those ones too and lump them with the sexual furries. Same goes with a lot of other things, extreme stuff gets noticed more than the casual stuff, so those are going to be what people will think of.

Still, I think it's sucky that people have to be so hateful to those who are different. I hate this attitude haters have where they feel entitled to bash people who are "freaks". It's the typical bully mindset, "You're different, so I can mock you and you can't say anything back because you chose to be different!". I see this on youtube all the time. If any certain group of people dare post videos, people will be downright relentless and show no mercy to them. They're reasoning is always a self fullfilling prophecy "it's the internet, get used to the flaming!", never mind the fact that they are the ones who are doing the flaming. People don't have to be treated like crap, but flamers choose to create that environment when they are assholes to others, then hide behind the "It's teh interwebz11111" excuse to mask their own assholery.

[telecom_goddess]

Plaid I know how you feel I got that a lot in high school. The great thing is now the geeky stuff or out of mainstream stuff I'm interested in has other people who like the same stuff. Locally in person you don't see it but online there's tons of other people just like you.

Wow and Lace....girls would actually come up and laugh at what you were reading? It had to be because they weren't smart enough to read anything beyond valley girl high and were jealous but couldn't admit it. Right now I'm reading a great book that I can guarantee no one else is....Life At The Dakota...about the history of the Dakota apartment house in NYC...one of my geeky interests

[Amanita]

Me being the building geek I am, "Life at the Dakota" sounds like something I might like
Hmmm..I wonder what would happen if some of NYC's skyscrapers suddenly gained the ability to talk, and decided to write a tell-all book?

Rageaholic, I even see the mentality you describe within the cosplay community! In the cosplay community, there are two mindsets when it comes to where one can or should cosplay. One group cosplays only at conventions or photoshoots. The other group (me included) cosplays in other places as well, places more public than a convention.
Sadly, discussions about cosplaying outside of cons tend to turn very nasty, and a lot of that nastiness comes from a certain segment of the "con-only" crowd. Some of them are incredibly self-righteous about their preference, and brand anyone who cosplays outside of a recognized convention with all manner of epithets. "Attention whore" is a favourite. Along with accusations of making the hobby/fandom look bad simply by being outside of a con in costume, of being "rude" because we look different.
And yes, these folks also espouse the belief that anyone who looks different in public deserves whatever abuse they get. All of this garbage on top of the usual cosplay dickery- cosplayers tearing down other cosplayers in disputes over whose outfit is better, who sucks, etc.
Sad, really.

[telecom_goddess]

Amanita I found the Life At the Dakota book at amazon.com...I forget the author's name right now and don't have it in front of me but it will be obvious if you do a search on it.

that building is just fascinating to me.

[suchislife2]

and this is why most of those people that treated me that way are gone. Took me almost 17 years to be rid of one of those people.

I'm glad I am who I am, and won't change who I am for anyone! I like what I like and always have. I find new interests every day but they are always a long the same lines.

Be proud to say you are a "childish nerd" go us!

[smileyeagle1021]

It's pretty sad that some really serious threads just turn into contests on who can one up each other on who is dorkier or weirder etc etc....

There is a guy in Salt Lake who routinely dresses up as Batman to go out walking... we all lose

As far as the OP, the issue is normality and society's desire to maintain it. There are areas where this societal force can be used for good. It is pretty universally agreed that abusing children is wrong so people will ostracise those who beat children and make it known that those who abuse children will be ostracised, with the idea being that people value social connections enough and want to avoid ostracism enough that they will NOT abuse children, even if otherwise inclined to, so that they don't face the societal consequences.
The problem lies when it is taken to the extreme and it becomes, "we'll just gay bash them until they become straight to make it stop" or "we'll belittle them for playing dungeons and dragons until they play a real mans sport just to make it stop".

[Lace Neil Singer]

I just got the last laugh about reading LOTR when the movies came out. Who's laughing now that I know what happens next and can possibly ruin the movies for you? XXD

[Red Panda]

Alot of people took offense to the above, but I think Red Panda didn't mean to word it in that way. There is a difference between people like me and others here who enjoy their hobbies, embrace them and such, versus those who FLING it on others. The people Red Panda means, are basically what I'm bitching about in terms of THIS IS COOL! YOU ARE STUPID FOR NOT LIKING THIS!", except instead of them being /average/ and /cool/ (which are subjective BTW), they are what people consider geeks. I've known some myself. One of my friends is a man who is rather obese, never baths, thick glasses, constantly talks down on people if they dare like anything but Linx, hates all religious except his own (It's an Asian one. I forget what it was. I asked if it was Buddism and he got rather angry), will dominate on any his subjects, and if you can't keep up then yeah. Needless to say, I don't talk to him much. I don't do that however. I don't insult others for not liking fantasy. I don't dominate a subject on my hobbies in converstations.

This, sort of. I also wanted to say that people won't know your hobbies unless you tell them your hobbies. Your story shows an innocent way it can come up, but if you felt threatened by people knowing you game you could have avoided the subject.

It comes up where people get made fun of for whatever hobby, according to some all the time, the thing is if you can't handle it just don't let people know unless you know they won't make fun of you. Unless I drop into your house and snoop around there might be a million things you do I would never know if you didn't mention it.

[Plaidman]

This, sort of. I also wanted to say that people won't know your hobbies unless you tell them your hobbies. Your story shows an innocent way it can come up, but if you felt threatened by people knowing you game you could have avoided the subject.

It comes up where people get made fun of for whatever hobby, according to some all the time, the thing is if you can't handle it just don't let people know unless you know they won't make fun of you. Unless I drop into your house and snoop around there might be a million things you do I would never know if you didn't mention it.

Gotcha. Everyone is perfectly allowed to talk and rant about whatever hobbies they want in front of me, and have no fear about replies.

God forbid I mention what I like. So I never ever should tell people i like my hobbies, because it will make fun of me. How do I make friends then?

[smileyeagle1021]

the thing is if you can't handle it just don't let people know unless you know they won't make fun of you.

The problem being, it can be very difficult to tell who is going to be the type of person who will do that... only way to know for certain is to be friends with that person and the only way to become friends is to know common interests, which does, as the wording imply, require both parties to bring up what they are interested in... ergo, in order to know whether or not the person you are talking to is going to make fun of you for your hobbies, you kinda have to tell them your hobbies... either that or live under a rock for your enter life...