How can you 'go green'?

[tropicsgoddess]

I agree with that sentiment.

I like my freedom. I would resent not being able to do certain things (especially ride my horse!). So, I am not going to bring a child into the world that I have no desire to sit at home and care for. That's not fair to the child!

Additionally, the idea of a pregnancy scares me a bit. I don't want my organs smooshed, my body to blow up like a balloon, my boobs to get sore...or to risk complications giving birth. I just don't want it. Sometimes I think how cool it might be to feel something growing inside of me...but then I think of morning sickness, sore backs, having to pee all the time, and getting torn up giving birth...etc. Um...no thanks.

And this will sound selfish and horrible, but I DO worry what would happen if I had a child with a disability. I don't have any major problems myself (just some allergies and eyesight that needs correction) but what if something "goes wrong"? I don't want to expend the time or energy caring for a child with a disability. Especially, if, deities forbid, it has a majorly debilitating mental or physical handicap. That's just not something I'm prepared to deal with emotionally or physically.

Almost everyone insists that both of us will change our minds. Maybe we will...who knows. We will be different people in four or five years.

But for now, that's where I stand.

Agreed,but my SO doesn't understand.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Agreed,but my SO doesn't understand.

Whatever happens, DON'T let SO pressure you into it. That's one of the worst possible things a person can do in a committed relationship. One partner WILL inevitably end up resenting the other, and the child WILL know she/he wasn't wanted in the first place, and it'll be disaster all around.

As a very wise unknown person once said, "I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them." Children aren't returnable commodities like handbags or shoes.

[powerboy]

I have always wanted children. I don't have any right now. But I still need to build my future and actually have money saved up.

I also think that the world would be a better place, if not as many people lived on it.

[Seshat]

Please do share! Also, do you have any reasons against child-bearing? I'd be interested to hear this.

Well, I'm not tropicsgoddess, but I do have some reasons not to bear a child myself.

Firstly, my genetics are nasty. Oh, there are some good things, but there are a host of bad ones too. I won't impose that on anyone.

Secondly, pregnancy is a huge burden on the body. Even if it goes perfectly, it distorts your hips and softens your belly muscles, as well as having a range of more cosmetic effects.

Thirdly, almost no pregnancy goes perfectly. This page has a list of potential problems during or after pregnancy. Some of them are nasty, some are disabling, some will kill you. Oddly enough, I haven't been able to find such a compilation on a medical site: though if you google each item individually, you can find them as complications/effects of pregnancy on reputable medical sites.

And finally, the whole idea just creeps me out.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Agreed. I've had body issues for quite a while and altho my body isn't perfect (then again, who's is?) I do at least feel at peace with it; ie, I no longer starve and binge and starve the way I used to. The thought of my body being ruined by a pregnancy fills me with horror; if I got pregnant, my boyf would give me the money and take me to the nearest clinic.

It's that, incidently, which seems to make people angry as hell. -.- I don't fricking well WANT a child, nor does my boyf... but somehow, altho I am taking every measure I can to prevent a child (I am not allowed to be sterilised yet tho), if I got accidently pregnant I'm supposed to change my mind and keep the spawn. Sorry, but no. I don't want to derail the thread, but it really gets on my nerves when people bleat "But if it was yours, you'd change your mind/if you accidently got pregnant, you'd want it!"

[Seshat]

[other people tell her] "But if it was yours, you'd change your mind/if you accidently got pregnant, you'd want it!"

Can I take it back if I don't?

I know! Maybe I can surrender it to a shelter. I'll just look up shelters in the phone book.

Hm. Lost dogs home - nope. Cat protection society - nope. Lort Smith Hospital - that sounds good. Oh damn, it's only for animals.

[Amethyst Hunter]

"But if it was yours, you'd change your mind/if you accidently got pregnant, you'd want it!"

Next time someone bingoes you with that one, just mention these names (compiled off the top of my head):

Scott Peterson
Andrea Yates
Dena Schlosser
Susan Smith
Amy Grossberg
Melissa Drexler
Chris Benoit
Diane Downs

I won't bother to mention each case's details (most of which are pretty gruesome and horrifying; you can Google or Wiki them if you really want to know) but suffice to say that just because some of your DNA's involved doesn't mean you'll make a good parent, planned or not.

(FYI: the reason that all but two of the names on this list are female is because the media loves to hypersensationalize female-committed crimes. Male-committed crimes happen more frequently, but aren't nearly as publicized (and therefore not as easily remembered) unless there's an element of scandal or celebrity (Peterson was cheating on his wife and committed murder to cover up his infidelity; Benoit was a professional wrestler))

[Lace Neil Singer]

Believe me, I do; I also like to throw Mary Ann Cotton at them too. She was one of England's most prolific serial killers... and a lot of the victims were her own children.