Dating When You Don't Want Kids

[guywithashovel]

Yes, this is another thread about people who choose not to become parents. I know there have been more than a few of those on this board, and some of you might be grimacing and thinking "Not another one!" But this is another angle that I haven't seen talked about a whole lot.

For those of you who have made this choice, has it been hard for you to find dates who are on the same page as you on this matter? As I mentioned in other thread about this subject, there are several people in my family who have made this choice, and many of them are married. They didn't seem to have much trouble. But has anyone else?

I've been on and off of a certain dating site for a while now. So far, I haven't had much luck, but it hasn't been because of the kid issue. I haven't been matched with a whole lot of people, but I suspect that may have something to do with the rather small distance area in which I specified my matched should be in. But maybe my lack of desire for children is to blame somewhat. Anymore now, sites like that are all I try in terms of "finding someone," since I don't really have the right personality to look around in the nightclubs and bars.

[Greenday]

I've been on and off of a certain dating site for a while now.

If you are talking about OkC, then I know what you mean. Everyone on there either has kids or wants kids.

In person though, I've had less trouble finding people who don't ever want kids. Only problem I have is that they are already taken.

[guywithashovel]

If you are talking about OkC, then I know what you mean. Everyone on there either has kids or wants kids.

Actually, the site I've been on and off of is eHarmony. Over time, I received a fair number of matches, and gone on a few dates, but nothing has worked out.

[Hobbs]

My current girlfriend doesn't want kids, and I want nothing more than to be a father. So, while we've never talked about it, I know our relationship can't be more than it is now.

[Racket_Man]

my GF and I (esp at our age) DO NOT want anymore kids. both of us have been there done that. she had her one kid and I had my one kid. I am too old to start changing diapers, doing the feeding, the crying, the growing up, the I'm too big for my britches, the "you are so dumb (said to me not me saying it)", etc. I watched my parents (as the child) get their "empty nest" destroyed by me because they got a bit careless.

both GF and I were very very happy when she went full post-menopasual.

Even if I were younger, NO MORE KIDS one was enough for me. for a while about 15 years ago Ex was on a "let's have another kid" kick. my arguement against was purely the massive physical and medical problem she had ( and still does)

[Nyoibo]

I'm interested in kids, not desperately want them or anything, but I wouldn't mind one later on, my girlfriend in no way wants kids, although she has admited that may change when she's a bit older, but at the moment we both want to play and travel, so kids are out of the question.

[telecom_goddess]

Actually, the site I've been on and off of is eHarmony. Over time, I received a fair number of matches, and gone on a few dates, but nothing has worked out.

gee and they guarantee perfect matches with your soulmate

[guywithashovel]

gee and they guarantee perfect matches with your soulmate

Yeah, I know. But I guess that's marketing for you.

I've only actually met three people from the site, and from what I gather, they seem to buy into the "opposites attract" philosophy.

[tabbyblack13]

I'm only in my late 20's and I really don't want a kid either. When I tell people that I don't want kids they freak out and assume I had some horrible childhood. There are some people assume that I am infertile or extremely ill when I tell them.

Because of my age and being a female everyone assumes I want kids. There are also a lot of men that want to have kids too. If they want kids and I don't then there is no date. That sounds mean but I don't want to get a guy excited about his future with me and kids.

I have no desires to have carry and birth a child. Then raising one? No way.

[Akasa]

I have never wanted kids, its ended a few relationships with men who wanted to be fathers, but that's life. Better to end it dating that to get married on a false basis and they try to get me pregnant or get mad at me when I don't change my mind or get my surgery to make it permanent that I don't have kids.(I have had the surgery at this point.)
It drives me crazy the way women are looked at as incomplete if they don't have kids, as if our whole goal in life is to pop out babies.

[Android Kaeli]

I've known that I didn't want kids from when I was a kid myself and that was almost two decades ago (I'm in my late 20's now ). I still don't want children, I don't plan on having children, and any man who has/will date me that wants/has children can GTFO of the relationship early.

Because, you know, I don't want to be in a relationship that'll only result in kids later. I have no desire, none what so ever, to raise a kid. If any man that is in a relationship wants kids, he can find someone else who wants the same thing.

[guywithashovel]

So, have you guys had any trouble finding other people to date who are on the same page as you in regards to kids?

[Racket_Man]

after my divorce this is one of the reasons I did NOT want to date too much lower than my age (ya know the older man and young woman maybe 10 or more years younger than I type thing) bracket ie. around 45 or so at the time. I was done with kids. NADA no more

and NO I did NOT go throught the mid-life crisis thing with sports cars and young 20 something "chicks" after the splitup.

[Akasa]

I'm currently engaged to a great guy in his mid 20's who doesn't have a problem w/ me not wanting kids as long as that means we can be together.

[LadyBarbossa]

I've also known from a young age that I didn't want kids. People always told me "Oh, you'll change your mind when you get older, everyone does!" I'm 26 now and I know even more now than I did before that I have NO desire to go through pregnancy and then be stuck taking care of someone else for 18+ years.

I've never really dated, since all the "nice Christian guys" are desperate to have their "quiverfull" and I have no desire to be a broodmare. I'd probably be OK with someone who had older kids (past the diapers and elementary school stage) but tiny ones/having ones of my own? Hell no. I know plenty of happy child-free couples though, so I'm sure I'll find someone eventually. I was on plentyoffish.com for a while but most of the guys who contacted me had "I love my four year old/I'm obsessed with my child/they are the center of my WORLD!/Interested in having lots more" in their profiles. It's like they either didn't read mine at all or they thought I didn't mean it when I specifically stated no small kids and don't want any.