Bragging about tampering with customer food

[Boozy]

Blended drinks are a pain-in-the-ass to make. Far more annoying than using a shaker, and far more annoying to clean up.

Especially when you consider the fact that many bars can go a full Saturday night without breaking out a blender, until that one person walks in and makes you do it. Blended drinks aren't very popular in many places.

Tip more for a daquiri than you would a martini, and more for a martini than you would for a glass of wine. If you take into account how much work your beverage is, you shouldn't have a problem getting decent drinks and service from a bartender. Also pay attention to the kind of place you're at; are blended drinks commonly consumed here, or is everyone around you drinking beer?

[kibbles]

I think if it's offered on the menu, a person should feel comfortable ordering it and not feel obligated to base their drink order on what the crowd is doing. JMO.

[crashhelmet]

Yep.

I don't drink blended or frozen drinks, but I cannot see the difference between pouring ingredients into a blender and pouring ingredients into a shaker. Pretty much everything short of shots straight up and draft beer is going to require some kind of effort.

You must have the magical blender that crushes every piece of ice you put in it. I've never seen one myself.

Pouring alcohol into a can, shaking, and pouring into a glass is not as time consuming as having to use other appliances and/or tools. Making sure ice is completely crushed or beating the shit out of ingredients with a pestle to make an Old Fashioned takes extra time.

Blenders are good only because you can usually make up to 4 of the same kind at a time. But if your group starts mixing it up, you and the rest of my unfortunate customers are going to be waiting a while. Heaven help you if you all want different blended drinks. Goto Fat Tuesday's where they have them pre-made in their own dispensers.

CH

[MaggieTheCat]

I can see where making several different blended drinks all for the same party would be time-consuming. For instance, if 4 people came in and all 4 people ordered different drinks that required the blender, all at the same time. However, if all 4 people are ordering the same blended drink, how is that harder than making it for 1 person? You just add 4 times as many ingredients to the blender. Unless the drink in question is huge, I would think most standard blenders could handle at least that much in one go. Even if 4 people order 4 different blended drinks, shorting them all isn't a guarantee they'll order more of something else. If my friends and I went to a bar and we all got shorted on our drinks, we wouldn't be going back to the bar anymore. So, sure, you may save 4 other customers who all had rum and cokes, but you may also lose 4 customers in the process.

I do see where CH is coming from saying that blended drinks are a pain to make (they are more time consuming than most mixed drinks) but I don't agree with shorting a customer for ordering them. Call center reps who are on commission aren't allowed to give sub-standard service because a customer asks a bunch of questions before placing an order, thus taking 5 minutes longer than the "average" customer and making the rep's commission per minute slightly lower, are they?

Getting back on topic to food tampering, I can only imagine how dangerous something like that could actually become. What if the person being served had an allergy, and the chef/waiter added an ingredient that the person was allergic to? I read a story once (I think it was on fmylife.com) about a woman whose friend got her a "chocolate chip" muffin, and it turned out the "chocolate chips" were actually blueberries, which the woman was allergic to. Not quite the same as food tampering, but pretty darn close, and the woman had to go to the hospital due to the allergic reaction she had.

[Boozy]

I think if it's offered on the menu, a person should feel comfortable ordering it and not feel obligated to base their drink order on what the crowd is doing. JMO.

I tend to agree, as long as the customer tips well for fancy-pants drinks.

[Rebel]

I used to work at a bar that was famous in the area for carrying about 150 different beers from around the world. It would have an average business during the week, but it would be insane on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Due to the slow week, they introduced cocktail Tuesdays to entice the younger women for mid-week drinks. It worked, quite well.

Only bad thing was was that during the incredibly busy times of the weekend, these same girls or people who had heard about the cocktails would try to order them. Bad luck to the was, either the bartender (who only worked the weekends) was not trained in cocktail making, the ones who were trained were working at another part of the bar, or it would be so busy that no-one wanted to make them.

I could do basic cocktails (cosmos, midori illusions), but you were SOOL if you wanted anything complicated.

Generally, if it was stupid busy and someone ordered a complex cocktail, the bartender would pretend they couldn't hear the order until you either changed it to something simpler or just gave up. It was no offense to the customer, but it was a full bar of people, most who wanted mixers, beer, or shots. Those went out fast and the crowd thinned out. Would rather disappoint 1 person than 50 people. If the customers still wanted the complicated drink when the crowds had gone, then sure, we'd make it, but it just wasn't gonna happen during the rush. If we did go to make it for whatever reason when it was busy, the rest of the customers would boo and push the one ordering away from the bar.
Yeah...it was a beer pub. Get over it.

But if I ever went to a place specifically catering to cocktails and blended drinks and they refused to make me one for any reason, then yeah, I would complain.

As to tampering with food: I would never do it. I've been tempted, but I'm allergic to some ingredients. I would hate it to happen to me, so I don't do it to anyone else.
Closest I ever came was simply chucking a cold burger into the microwave when a customer demanded a new one. She didn't even notice.

[McDreidel09]

I tend to agree, as long as the customer tips well for fancy-pants drinks.

Which is why I added the "tipped well" part in my example. My mother used to bar tend and even on a busy night, would make all of those drinks, usually by herself and because of the outstanding service, she got lots of tips. Yes, I understand that bars can get busy, but that's no reason to completely ignore a great customer who is willing to tip according to the drink they purchase, just because they happen to want a blended drink. If bars really don't want you to purchase a drink that requires a blender, then they should take it off the menu and not have blenders.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I will say though.... There are drinks we despise making and most often involve a blender or other out of the ordinary tools. Making one is no big deal. Multiple? Expect a short pour.

And here again is the attitude that I just do not understand nor personally can stand.

If it is on your menu and your establishment makes it well, why is there the expectation that you shouldn't have to make the damn thing? Or that making it is something that goes above and beyond the call of duty?

Sure, asking a bartender to make that drink that carefully floats 7 types of booze in a rainbow of layers in the glass is a pain in the ass when the bar is busy. But if it's on the menu then it is not our fault.

As I said before, if making the drinks is a pain in the ass, then convince the management to remove it from the menu, find another bartender that doesn't mind making the beverages, find another job in an establishment that doesn't serve such items, or just suck it up and deal.

God knows that there is shit that I do not like doing and people that I can not stand working for at my job. God knows that trying to keep the computers running in a hospital full of luddite nurses and Entitlement Whore Doctors can be as unpleasant as trying to make a bunch of blended drinks for a crowd of barely legal women, but I suck it up and I do it. I'm gritting my teeth while I'm doing it, I'm ranting and raving in my mind, but I goddamn do my job.

If it ever gets too much...I'll start looking for something less stressful.

Oh and as for the "short pour"? Isn't that a form of tampering with the customer's food? I ask for and pay for a four-oz drink and only get three...aren't I getting ripped off by the establishment? And don't you think that if I noticed it...I'd start spreading the word that [establishment] short measures you on the drinks and rips you off thus potentially harming your business? Especially if I were to find a place that didn't short pour people just for having the audacity to order something that is offered?

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I do see where CH is coming from saying that blended drinks are a pain to make (they are more time consuming than most mixed drinks) but I don't agree with shorting a customer for ordering them.

I do see where CH is coming from. But what if I were part of a group that ordered different menu-item blended drinks, that ordered politely, waited patiently and with full understanding that the order was going to take longer than normal, and thanked the tender for getting us the drinks and tipped well?

My group has done that and we tip well provided we get good service. We understand that sometimes our orders and the timing of those orders are going to be a bitch. But we want what we want and we are willing to wait for it.

Why does that make us evil sons of bitches that must be shout measured just because the bartender doesn't like making blended drinks that are on the goddamn menu?

[Plaidman]

Simple math. Some bartenders are just SW's themselves. To them, the customer is a sick and evil bastard, for daring, DARING to order a drink of a menu. Don't you know? They are only to order a bottle of beer, or a shot of whiskey, some kind of drink that takes two seconds to make, so that the bartenders can go back to sitting on their asses.

Seriously. Your stealing from a customer, your stealing from people, just because you didn't feel like doing your job. That's sick and childish. They ordered a drink from a menu that you are too serve. Why is that such a horrid deal? Cause it's hard to make? What the fuck kind of excuse is that?

[Jack]

I don't even understand what the big deal is to the people who do things like that. It doesn't take *that* long to make nearly anything and a few extra minutes for some more complex blend/mix isn't going to kill the income for the rest of the night. If the time taken to make a few fancy drinks seriously affects that, business probably just sucks overall.

[draggar]

When I worked at Staples I had a customer who was in the middle of a systems upgrade in his office. He'd come in every Saturday morning and buy 4-5 large (21"+0 CRT monitors (not flat screens) as well as 2-3 large printers. I had to find a cart to put all the equipment on and also get a ladder to get it all out of the overhead storage (usually about 15+ feet high).

This was a real pain considering how heavy this equipment is and I could only get one ata time form the overhead. Even though it was busy, I was the only one on duty and I probabaly missed out on several ink and toner sales (which have a far higher profit margin). This guy never bought the service plans so I missed out on some of those, too with people walking in buying computers, scanners, and lower end printers.

Now, if I complained about this people would say "Well, it's your job, if you don't like it, find a new one". So why is it different with bartenders and mised drinks?

Both are time consuming, both are a pain in the rear, both are part of the job, and both are money missed out of the worker's pocket (tips for the bartender, extended warranty sales for me).

[Lace Neil Singer]

At the petrol station, we offer a service to disabled customers; ie that we will come and pump their petrol for them. Now, I don't mind in the slightest doing this for genuinely disabled customers; however, there's one guy who takes the piss. He's not disabled; we've seen him doing his supermarket shop and walking unaided. He's just bone idle. He leans on his horn til someone goes outside to help, and sometimes we can't go out instantaniously, especially if we're busy. The leaning on the horn is irritating and incredibly rude.

That's similar I think to the mixed drinks conundrum. While it is my job to go out and help people if need be, if someone is demanding help due to being lazy and being rude on top of that, I have every right to be annoyed. Just as the barman has every right to be annoyed at a group of people demanding different mixed drinks; especially if they are rude with it.

[Peppergirl]

Oh and as for the "short pour"? Isn't that a form of tampering with the customer's food? I ask for and pay for a four-oz drink and only get three...aren't I getting ripped off by the establishment?

While I can certainly understand and even partially agree with your other points, comparing a 'short pour' to tampering with someones food? Really?

Granted, it may be a shitty thing to do - but it's a far cry from the egregious act of food tampering.

[Jester]

I don't think that anyone who knows me will be surprised that I have quite a few things to say on this subject!

For those who don't know me, I am a bartender in a resort town, and have been in the food service industry over 20 years. It has been the primary source of my income for basically my entire working career. At the bar I work at, while I can be (and am) a smartass with guests, I do it with a smile, and both customers and management (and most of my coworkers) love me, even if they don't always "get" me.

Okay, enough with the credentials. On to my views on this....

First, before I comment on specific statements by other posters, let me address food tampering: it is wrong. Legally, ethically, and morally, it is wrong.

Are there people that I believe deserve to have their food tampered with? Absolutely. Are there people whose food I have been tempted to tamper with? Absolutely. Have I ever actually tamped with anyone's food? Outside of screwing with friends' munchies when we are all out and about, absolutely NOT. (And rarely do I bother with that last one, because I don't want my food fucked with, and so few of my friends piss me off enough for me to do it.)

Look, I'd be lying if I said I had never imagined doing all kinds of horrible shit to the food of assholes. I have a vivid imagination, and am a vindictive fuckwad. But I am also a professional, and whatever my beliefs about various people that enter my establishment, I am not going to prostitute my personal and professional ethics just for a brief moment of imagined victory.

What the server in "Pay Per View" did was brilliant in so many ways. She did not fuck with the food, but she left the very unproveable notion with the customers that she did. She used their guilty consciences against them. And she left herself untouchable. Nothing she said or did was in any way wrong. Her tone might have been suggestive of something evil, but that was their word against hers. And what would they say? "She told us to enjoy our food, but she did so in an evil way." Right. Of all the revenge stories I heard, this by far was the best one, and one of the only ones I agreed with. She didn't fuck with their food, she fucked with their heads. And so she is my newest hero.

I rarely ever go to bars, but according to what I've read online, there is apparently an unwritten rule against ordering elaborate mixed drinks at a bar. This rule also seems to include any drinks that require a blender.

There is no such unwritten rule. Do bartenders generally dislike making frozen drinks? Yes. Do they also dislike making some of the more complex drinks? Yes. Will a good bartender make whatever drink is ordered? Yes.

Look, when I am busy, a bunch of frozen drinks just slows me down. But it is part of MY JOB to make drinks, especially if they are on the menu or something that is not totally outrageous, or that doesn't compromise the law or various ethics. There are some things I will refuse to do, such as make my signature margarita in a frozen form. It's a drink with MY name on it, I will NOT prostitute that. Also, certain of our specialty drinks are NOT available in frozen form. It's just not done. (Frankly, they wouldn't taste nearly as good, to be honest.) Once again, it's the bar's name on those drinks. You can debate this part of it all you want, but I feel that bars and bartenders have the right to refuse to make signature drinks in non-signature ways.

That being said, as a customer, if you want a pina colada, and the bar has the ability to make a pina colada, and/or it's on the menu, than you should be able to order one. Understand that some drinks do take longer than others, though. Also understand that certain bars don't make certain drinks, and if a bartender tells you the bar doesn't make it, it is not usually because they are being lazy, but because the establishment does not make that drink, for whatever reason. (Some beer pubs don't have blenders, for example...by choice.)

Now, there is one frozen drink that does drive a lot of non-Fat Tuesday bartenders nuts. It's a layered frozen drink called a Miami Vice. Well, that's the official name for it. The name that every bartender I've ever known calls it is a Pain in the Ass. In one drink, you are asking the bartender to mix up two different half-sized frozen concoctions and layer it into one glass. Usually a strawberry daiquiri/pina colada combo. Look, just order a strawberry colada
and be done with it. IT TASTES THE EXACT SAME. It just looks a bit less pretty. Will I make a Pain in the Ass if ordered? Yes. Will I be a (friendly) smartass to the customer about it? Of course! That's the way I am anyway!

By the way, mojitos are notoriously labor-intensive also. I work in a bar that specializes in rum, so of course we make mojitos. Do some of my coworkers bitch about them? When we get 27 of them ordered in ten minutes, you betchya! But I have almost never seen a bartender refuse to make one, unless we are balls deep busy for a special event...and even then, that's rare, with the bartender merely telling the customer it's going to be a little bit of time to get to. Most customers get that. Hell, some customers have apologized to me for ordering mojitos, even when it's slow. I just laugh at them. We're a RUM bar. Have a damn mojito!

Amusing sidenote: a friend of mine and former bartender/former bar owner a while back printed up a t-shirt that almost every bartender who's seen it wants a copy of: "I'm out of mint and the blender's broken. Next question."

Comment cards - so if I leave a comment card explaining how crappy the service was (because it was) and leave my contact information so I can discuss it with management - I might get harassed by the store employees? How f-ing mature. How about learning to do your job better. If my service was crappy then I'll leave negative comments. If my service was good, I'll leave good comments.

The sad fact is that if you have bad service and leave a bad comment card, it is virtually a lock that it will never be seen by those who you want to see it. Think about it: it's a matter of self-preservation. If you leave a bad comment card and your server is the first person to the table after you leave (which they usually will be), once they see that comment card, it is destined for destruction. Ditto if their coworker/friend, such as the busboy, hostess or another server finds it. And "comment card boxes," as shown by the linked site, don't always guarantee your comments will get to where you intend. No, if you have bad service, your best bets as a customer to get this information to the appropriate parties are:

--Hand the comment card directly to the manager.
--Talk directly with the manager.
--Contact the establishment's corporate office after you leave the establishment.

Honestly, if you leave a negative comment card on the table, you should not expect that to go anywhere but the trash. Period.

Adding tips onto credit card bills - that's plain THEFT. I always cross out the tip area where a tip isn't warranted (pickup, etc.) or when I leave a cash tip.

This is excellent advice, not just for when you are not leaving a tip, but if you leave a cash tip in lieu of a tip on your credit card. Even with a good cash tip, there are unscrupulous people that may decide to fill in the blank parts of your credit slip for you, to pad their pockets. Always fill out the tip part of your credit slip, either with a tip, a zero, or crossed out, and always always always fill in the total part of the slip with the check amount plus any tip you have decided to leave. Leaving things blank leaves things open for abuse.

I also check to make sure that they request the correct amount from the bank - if they don't I'm on the phone with the bank and insist on pressing charges against the resturant.

Be advised that the amount you see in your bank account that day or the next may NOT be accurate, and it may have nothing to do with any theft attempt on the part of the establishment or the server. Just about daily my management fields calls from people who were in the previous day who are calling to complain about being "overcharged" for their bill, as their online bank statement says they were charged more than their bill. The problem in 99.99% of these cases is not theft, but the bank "hedging their bets" as it were. Many banks will, when a charge is received from a bar or restaurant, actually authorize a certain percentage more than the submitted amount. This is to account for the tip, and to ensure that the bank client has the requisite funds to cover both the bill and the tip. Within a day or so, when the bank computer receives the final amount from the establishment, the bank adjusts the charge to its actual amount, rather than the authorized amount. Apparently this is quite a common practice with banks, so please don't run screaming bloody murder if your bank statement is higher than your steak dinner from the night before....chances are it's your bank, not your server.

But if a customer is being bad because they're making you do your job (within reason) then get a new one.

100% agree. A customer is not a bad customer by expecting you to do the job you are there to do. I am a bartender. A customer is not a douchebag if they order a pina colada from me. If they condescend to me, snap their finger at me, and/or lecture me on the proper method for making such a common drink, THEN they are a douchebag. If they throw their bagel cream cheese side down on my bar and expect me to clean it up, THEN they are a douchebag. (This last one actually happened to me. I re-educated the individual on acceptable behavior in my bar quite quickly and quite firmly, and made sure he cleaned his mess up.)

(continued....)