Restaurant Has "No Screaming Children Sign"

[IDrinkaRum]

Thank you Pepper & DGoddess

When I read the first story about the restaurant with the "screaming children will not be tolerated" sign, I did not think it was discriminating against my daughter. My first thought was, "Yes! I can go there with daughter and eat in peace." For the most part, my daughter can eat out in public relatively quietly. Now, if she's obsessing about something, or whatever, she will have a meltdown, and I'll take her out (after much arguing with Mr. Rum as he doesn't think we should remove her, she's "just tired" or "will forget eventually" what she's fussing about My husband can be ... thick .... in the head).

I just don't understand the parents of other autistic children who think "OMG! The world is out to get me & my kid!"

[JLG]

When my daughter was 4 years old I was at a restaurant with my mom and nephew and my daughter started making a fuss over where we were sitting. After a few minutes I got up and told my mom and nephew to enjoy their meal and to take their time because I was taking my daughter outside since she was not behaving.

My daughter made more of a fuss and I told her that we don't act like that in a restaurant because it is not polite and disturbs others trying to enjoy their meal.

And guess what? She never did it again at a restaurant.

She did try it again while shopping at Target and we left and I once again told her that if she acts like that we go home.

My child is not perfect but I can say after those two incidents she never acted up at a restaurant or store again

[mikoyan29]

One of my friends has a 3 year old and a newborn baby. We went to a certain restaurant that sells shellfish of the Dungeness variety. Anyways, I picked that because I like it there and I thought it would be appropriate. When their kids started acting up, if they didn't calm down immediately, they would take them outside. What is so wrong with that for other parents? I like the ones that say, "What a parent can't go out and enjoy a dinner because they don't know when their kid will act up". what about the flip side? I can't go out an enjoy a meal because I don't want to hear screaming kids. One person being inconvienced is much better than a whole restaurant full of people being inconvenienced...yes.

[KnitShoni]

As was mentioned, well-behaved kids don't want to have to deal with screaming kids, either. It is disruptive to my family outing to have to stop talking to my kids about their day and what's going on in their lives to answer questions about why the kids at the next table over are allowed to scream, explain to them that not all parents are like us, so they don't take their children outside when they do scream, and deal with the headaches we all get from having to listen to it. And, honestly, if parents are so worried about the inconvenience of having to leave a restaurant because their child is screaming, wouldn't it be easier to teach the child to not scream in public?

[Lace Neil Singer]

I personally don't get why parents want to take small children to good restaurants anyway. They wouldn't fully appreciate the food, the atmosphere or the ambience... and if they were asked, they'd say they wanted to go to McDonalds or KFC. So pretending that you as a parent are going to a restaurant for the kids is bullshit; it's for you. And since it's for you, you might as well embrace the novel concept of getting a babysitter and go out alone with your other half and enjoy a night of just being a couple without the kids for once.

[blas87]

I agree with you Lace, all the way. Why in the world would a kid be interested in a dark, candlelit fancy schmanzy restaurant with wine and other alchy beverages and fancy rich foods that a kid probably wouldn't like anyway?

It's the same reason people take their kids into midnight premiers of R rated movies, though. Either too cheap or too proud to get a sitter.

I think every parent needs a break, but at the same time, if you can't get a sitter or don't want one, you shouldn't have had kids then. You're no longer #1 when you have kids. And not everything in the world needs to be turned around to be suitable for kids.

[KnitShoni]

I personally don't get why parents want to take small children to good restaurants anyway. They wouldn't fully appreciate the food, the atmosphere or the ambience... and if they were asked, they'd say they wanted to go to McDonalds or KFC. So pretending that you as a parent are going to a restaurant for the kids is bullshit; it's for you. And since it's for you, you might as well embrace the novel concept of getting a babysitter and go out alone with your other half and enjoy a night of just being a couple without the kids for once.

Except, part of the reason we take them is specifically to teach them how to act in public. And, personally, my kids aren't too keen on McDonalds and KFC. The rare times we have burgers or fried chicken, they'd prefer their dad cooked it. Well, mom and dad don't always feel like cooking, and our goto isn't greasy fast food. We also can't introduce them to new foods at KFC or McDonalds.

Why is there the assumption that just because a couple takes their children out to dinner on that occasion, they always do it?

[Amanita]

^I think that when it comes to teaching kids how to act in public, such education starts at home. If the parents teach and enforce good table manners and civil behavior at home, then odds are, they're going to have an easier time applying those lessons at a restaurant.

The problem is when parents don't start teaching good behavior at home, and expect it to just "take" at the restaurant. Or they feel that restaurant time is also "take a break from parenting time", but bring the kids anyway and let them do whatever.

[blas87]

The way people act in public often reflects how they are at home or anywhere else.

[KnitShoni]

The way people act in public often reflects how they are at home or anywhere else.

This is true. So, why should the children who have been taught how to act not be allowed to go to a nice restaurant with their parents on the (in our case) 1 or 2 times a month the parents decide to take them?

[Peppergirl]

Why is there the assumption that just because a couple takes their children out to dinner on that occasion, they always do it?

I don't think anyone is saying that.

It's just like everything else, a few bad ones are ruining it for the good ones - and giving the reputation that kids are monsters and parents are EW's.

The only thing I *will* say is that it does seem like there are a larger proportion of badly-behaved children in restaurants lately, along with parents who feel that others should just put up with it.

If one has children who behave appropriately in restaurants, more power to them. I find it charming and intriguing if children are developing their palates and want to try gourmet food.

When my kids were little, I could take my older one to restaurants without fear of having to eat a cold meal. He was pretty well behaved. My younger one (the ADHD one)...no. Just no. He was generally not well behaved in restaurants, so - guess what? Novel idea! We didn't take him to them. We found a sitter or went someplace else (geared toward kids) or DIDNT GO.

Why is that such a difficult concept for some of these parents?

[Greenday]

Eh, it kind of is true and it kind of isn't.

My little cousins, specifically my 8 year old cousin, is pretty attention-seeking and is bouncing off the walls a lot. He'll do anything just to get attention. It's tough dealing with him. But for the most part, we've trained him to behave at restaurants. We've explained that the way you act at home and the way you act in public are two completely different things. I'm just glad he doesn't yell anymore or run around. Every now and then he does that going under the table thing which I had hoped he'd be over by now. He just gets restless easily. Also prone to knocking stuff over at the dinner table.

[IDrinkaRum]

This is true. So, why should the children who have been taught how to act not be allowed to go to a nice restaurant with their parents on the (in our case) 1 or 2 times a month the parents decide to take them?

Because the well-behaved kids don't have a tattoo on their forehead or a huge honking neon sign flashing on and off on top of their heads saying "I have good restaurant/table manners! Allow me in!" or something to that nature.

The majority of kids who act up ruin it for those who do not.

[Lace Neil Singer]

^I think that when it comes to teaching kids how to act in public, such education starts at home. If the parents teach and enforce good table manners and civil behavior at home, then odds are, they're going to have an easier time applying those lessons at a restaurant.

Exactly this. My parents started teaching my brothers and I table manners from the word go. So getting to a restaurant, it wasn't a huge stretch to apply those manners; whereas if kids are not taught how to behave at table, then they can hardly be blamed for not knowing how to act in public. And I don't blame them. I blame the parents.

This is true. So, why should the children who have been taught how to act not be allowed to go to a nice restaurant with their parents on the (in our case) 1 or 2 times a month the parents decide to take them?

I don't believe I, or anyone else, is saying that. Merely that if kids are running around and screaming, they obviously don't belong in a fancy restaurant and would prefer to be someplace like McDonalds and Chucky Cheese where screaming and running around is commonplace. Rather than at Le Posh where sitting still, using indoor voices and table manners is expected.

My parents took my brothers and I out to restaurants a lot; however, we never acted up cuz we knew that the penalty for misbehaviour was that we'd all go home and miss out on the treat of eating out.

[KnitShoni]

I personally don't get why parents want to take small children to good restaurants anyway. They wouldn't fully appreciate the food, the atmosphere or the ambience... and if they were asked, they'd say they wanted to go to McDonalds or KFC. So pretending that you as a parent are going to a restaurant for the kids is bullshit; it's for you. And since it's for you, you might as well embrace the novel concept of getting a babysitter and go out alone with your other half and enjoy a night of just being a couple without the kids for once.

Ok. I guess I misinterpreted this to mean you were talking about all children, not just the badly behaved ones.