"Tiger Parenting" AKA: Mental Abuse.

[KnitShoni]

I read that article, too. She also says that, when Chua's book was released in China, a lot of parents were quick to say that her view was outdated and not how a lot of mothers there do things now.

[Gravekeeper]

I know, Cracked; but honestly, this article is pertinent in this topic. The first part mentions Amy Chua.

Yeah, read that the other night at work. Very fascinating actually. ( I like Christina on Cracked, always writes something thoughtful ). She also gets into the opposite end of the spectrum of parenting in China and how its catching on.

[Racket_Man]

I was listening to the CBC's program As It Happens the other night. the particular story that caught my attention was about Japan and how apartment landlords were billing families up to the equivilant of $30,000 to completely rehad apts after the occupant committed suiside. the number they menetioned after that really caught my attention. they threw out a statistic that there were, on average, 100 suisides a DAY in one city in Japan. most of the suisides were from loads of stress, very very high expectations, lofty goals to achieve, very long long work hours.

one must remember that there are definate and very wide divisions and differences in culture between those in Asia and here in the west esp the US.

we just have to look to our past, here in the US, to see that difference. a lot of the immigrants from both Europe and Asia arrived in this country as hard working and sometimes overachieving individuals. they KNEW what a days work was and they instilled that in their children.

but when instilling hard work ethic one must balance that with real priase, compassion, and a geniune proud parent mentallity.

to just scream, shout, threaten, and order (military style) a child around Yes creates an over-achiever but with A LOT of baggage.

in this age of play dates, football, ballet, karate, baseball, scocer, <insert name of camp such as leadership, fat, computer, math, band, etc.> camp, mutipule forgien language classes, boarding or exclusive expensive schools (looks good on a kiddie resume), kiddie beauty pagents,etc, the question is WHY????

Why can not a kid be a kid sometimes???? Ya know play in the dirt with a stick, run around in the back yard pretenting to be a super hero, time to daydream and imagine, time spent actually reading a book of THEIR choice, having an imaginary friend, etc.


why must there ALWAY be this heavy structure???? OH maybe because the parent is trying to live vicariously through their child????

I know that wanting your children to be better than you is a valid parental goal BUT come on. treating your kid like a littel soldier is pushing it WAY too far. let a kid be a kid sometimes.

[LewisLegion]

Parents want children to have what they didn't get. What they often do, however, is forget to give their children what they DID get.

Success...and what society determines success is...are two different things. I consider myself a success. I am a self-supporting stable individual with very little debt (my mortgage and a car payment), who is compassionate, charitable, responsible, reasonable, and optimistic. I am a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, I treat others how I would like to be treated, and I do my best to work to make the world...or at least my small corner of it...a little bit better. I view myself as successful.

However, in society's eyes I am not so successful. I don't have a six or seven figure job, I don't drive the newest car, I don't have a bachelors, masters, pHd, I'm not a world-famous author, I didn't get straight A's, I barely went to college and even then, it was a community college, I do own my own home but it's small with a tiny yard, I was never valedictorian in anything and my job would be considered 'low brow white collar'. HARDLY successful.

Well, I say...screw society's standards. If I lived up to what other people...people who don't even know me...expect, then I would be a mess. Overstressed, no time for friends or family, with TONS more issues, probably an ulcer or ten and a raging case of heart disease...not to mention probably in a wheelchair as the condition I have is greatly set-off by stress. I would die young and miserable and all the money I earned being 'successful' would end up going to other people anyway.

To me, that's the very definition of Hell. Why would you want that for your kids? If I had kids, yes, I would want them to do their best in school and there would be rules and restrictions. But they would also be able to be a kid, to play with their friends, use their imaginations, join the drama club if they wanted, or the karate club, or the computer club, or the debate team...IF THEY WANTED. They'd learn how to guide their own lives and find happiness in whatever they have and whatever they do...instead of being uptight rich entitlement whores who need pills to get up, pills to work and pills to sleep because they have torn themselves apart with stress and other people's expectations on what 'success' is.

[Andara Bledin]

Well said, LL.

My old boss never understood why I didn't try to get myself a better job than working for him. And I admit, I could probably be making twice what I do now if I made an effort to get a different job.

What he (and a lot of other people) never understood is that I'm happy where I am. Would I like more? Sure. Would I be happy with what it would take to have more? Highly debatable.

^-.-^

[Rageaholic]

I was listening to the CBC's program As It Happens the other night. the particular story that caught my attention was about Japan and how apartment landlords were billing families up to the equivilant of $30,000 to completely rehad apts after the occupant committed suiside. the number they menetioned after that really caught my attention. they threw out a statistic that there were, on average, 100 suisides a DAY in one city in Japan. most of the suisides were from loads of stress, very very high expectations, lofty goals to achieve, very long long work hours.

Just as I thought and exactly why this kind of parenting sucks.

Well, I say...screw society's standards. If I lived up to what other people...people who don't even know me...expect, then I would be a mess. Overstressed, no time for friends or family, with TONS more issues, probably an ulcer or ten and a raging case of heart disease...not to mention probably in a wheelchair as the condition I have is greatly set-off by stress. I would die young and miserable and all the money I earned being 'successful' would end up going to other people anyway.


To me, that's the very definition of Hell. Why would you want that for your kids? If I had kids, yes, I would want them to do their best in school and there would be rules and restrictions. But they would also be able to be a kid, to play with their friends, use their imaginations, join the drama club if they wanted, or the karate club, or the computer club, or the debate team...IF THEY WANTED. They'd learn how to guide their own lives and find happiness in whatever they have and whatever they do...instead of being uptight rich entitlement whores who need pills to get up, pills to work and pills to sleep because they have torn themselves apart with stress and other people's expectations on what 'success' is.

Exactly. Fuck society and fuck judgmental people who have to compare themselves to others. I'm easily stressed enough as it is, so the last thing I'd need is all these expectations. If I was told that the only grades acceptable were A's and anything less would get be shuned, I would have killed myself a long time ago. It's just not healthy to live with such unreasonable expectations.

It's understandable that parents want their kids to be sucessful with good jobs and money, but when it takes over their lives, doesn't that defeat the purpose? The only exception being that they're a workaholic or someone who enjoys all the acheivements, and if that were the case, they wouldn't need for tyrant mom. They could find their own happiness.

My biggest problem is that she's controlling her kids lives to the point of insanity. She not only micromanages their lives, witholding basic needs to control them, but she even controls their emotions. No, getting a B is unacceptable! Even if they got A's in everything else, they would be punished for hours for that one B. They can never find happiness or satisfaction without moms approval.

And the top rated comments the youtube video are defending this nutcase?! WTF?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!