Stigma on strong women

[Mytical]

This could easily go under Things I hate also. Why are people so intimidated by strong women? I thought we were out of the stone ages. Yet when I normally talk about how I like strong women..it's automatically assumed I am 'whipped' or some freak. I consider myself a fairly strong guy. Though sometimes emotional, when things hit the fan..I am the calm one who can take charge and handle just about anything. I don't have to drive some fancy sports car or such either.

Now, I am talking about confidence, not arrogance. Somebody who knows what they want, and are (is? I suck at grammar) not afraid to get it. In all aspects of life. Even if that means making the first move in a social setting.

While I am on the subject I hate the use of feminine. "A woman who can be feminine in the bedroom..etc" That bugs me. Simply because they are always feminine, as they are female. It doesn't matter if they are wearing suspenders climbing a mountain. The chromosomes don't suddenly change. Though 'girly' would be even worse. I find a strong female sexy regardless if they are in a business meeting or wearing the frilliest pink nightie that ever existed.

Anywho, back on topic. We have covered some of the other sexualities here, and I believe most here are strong supporters of others rights. Yet while some champion the rights of the LGBT community, some of those same people raise an eyebrow when a younger man gets with an older female. Why is it society paints a guy who likes a strong female as a wimp or a pushover? Or that age of the female matters if they are older then the guy? Isn't there a sort of double standard there?

[Gravekeeper]

I don't know the answer to your questions. I only wish to point out that strength in a woman = attractive as all heck. I understand where you're coming from, but not where we're suppose to go. Maybe we should stop somewhere and ask for directions. ( Or is that unmanly? -.- )

[BlaqueKatt]

Yet while some champion the rights of the LGBT community, some of those same people raise an eyebrow when a younger man gets with an older female. Why is it society paints a guy who likes a strong female as a wimp or a pushover? Or that age of the female matters if they are older then the guy? Isn't there a sort of double standard there?

oh gods yes, there is. I get told a lot, by others, that I "wear the pants in the marriage", um no, my husband does defer to me at times because, yes I'm older and have a bit more life experience, we make 99.9% of our decisions as a couple. Obviously that's wrong. I also get the "man you robbed the cradle". He pursued me for nearly a year. Our age difference is 9 years, we have been together for 8 years, I'm 35-you do the math. I have asked why he chose me over a girl his own age, it was because the girls he knew his age were, in his opinion, too shallow and superficial, I was past that stage if I ever went through it.

[Andara Bledin]

I thought we were out of the stone ages. Yet when I normally talk about how I like strong women..it's automatically assumed I am 'whipped' or some freak.

Do you mean physically or emotionally?

Now, I am talking about confidence, not arrogance. Somebody who knows what they want, and are (is? I suck at grammar) not afraid to get it.

Emotionally, mostly, then. (and it's 'is' - break it into two sentences to verify: somebody knows + somebody is = somebody knows and is)

Why is it society paints a guy who likes a strong female as a wimp or a pushover? Or that age of the female matters if they are older then the guy? Isn't there a sort of double standard there?

People don't like change, and sexism is still quite prevalent. However, at this point it's no longer overt sexism as much, but the covert and insidious kind that nobody realizes they're still doing because it's learned patterns of behavior from role models while growing up.

The attitudes you mention are part and parcel of that subconscious bigotry. Every time you hear someone say something like, "Boys will be boys" you're hearing an example. They don't actually mean to do it, usually, but it's the attitude they were raised with, and it's the attitude they will then pass down to those that they raise.

I tend towards the strong side of the scale. Thankfully, the circles I hang around in are just fine with strong women - possibly due to them also being highly tolerant of alternate lifestyles as well. Although, this usually puts me into a position of being 'one of the guys' as opposed to a potential romantic interest, which is frustrating - and probably due to that same tolerance; I'm accepted as strong, but subconsciously grouped with other lesbians to excuse my lack of 'feminine graces.'

^-.-^

[Mytical]

A little of both actually. Muscles on a female does not bother me. I can identify a little, as most females seem to think of me as a 'gal pal' type, and thus not a romantic interest. They also group me with the 'gay males'. You know, cause if you are a sensitive guy you must be gay.

[Hyena Dandy]

I don't have a problem with strong women. I'm gay (negotiably gay. I'm attracted to guys, but I can be convinced) so I don't know what attractive is on a girl (the convincing would be if I had emotional respect/etc.) but I don't see why strong women wouldn't be attractive. Strong men are attractive, after all.

I like confidence. Confidence is I think the most attractive trait in any person of any gender.

That's why my first crush was on Falco Lombardi in Starfox. :P

[guywithashovel]

I'll admit, my hackles go up a little bit when I hear about a woman being "strong" or "strong willed." But please hear me out on this before getting mad at me.

I have this coworker. Let's call her Lisa. She is in her mid thirties, and has been single for most of her life. She got married when she was in her early twenties, but they ended up getting divorced because "they just got married too young." Lisa often likes to talk about how independent she is and how she doesn't know if she would be able to live with anyone else because she is so independent and likes to always do things her way. Lisa also likes to joke about how bossy and controlling she is. There is a lot of truth to these jokes, too. She likes to tell other people what to do, and she doesn't hesitate a minute before imposing her opinions on other people. Basically, she's very independent herself, but she seems to have a hard time letting other people be independent and make their own decisions.

I don't mean to talk bad about Lisa. She's a great person overall, and we actually get along great. But could I live with her as a life partner? Honestly, probably not. In fact, I honestly think the only kind of guy who could make it with her would be a guy who is whipped and doesn't mind being whipped.

Essentially, when I hear about a woman being "strong" or "strong willed," I think of a woman like Lisa. It's just how I've been conditioned. Now, if by "strong" or "strong willed" you mean someone who is independent but at the same time willing to compromise, then yes, that is very attractive.

Basically, in a life partner, I need someone who can be her own person and make her own decisions, but at the same time have a strong ability to compromise and work with me as a team. I don't want a partner who is like an adopted daughter. But I also don't want an overbearing mother figure.

[Mytical]

One of the keys to being strong, for a man or a woman, imo is the ability to make up their own mind, but also taking their partner (if any) into consideration. Which yes means compromise. Since I myself could either be a Dom or a sub in a relationship, I personally have no issue with a decision maker either. However, control does not make one strong.

A little off topic, some people do not realize how strong a sub can be. It is not easy to give up control, and sometimes requires a lot of strength..but that is a subject for another thread.

[BlaqueKatt]

Lisa also likes to joke about how bossy and controlling she is.

controlling behavior usually comes from insecurity and fear, which would be the opposite of strength.

[Plaidman]

I'm attractived to strong women. Ask anyone.


That is all.

[Greenday]

Well, as far as physically strong, if a woman is completely jacked, I don't find it attractive. I like my women to look like women, not like professional men's body builders. I'm attracted to feminine women. I mean, you don't have to doll up all girly, girly but if the only difference I can tell between you and me is the bulge in my pants...

As for emotionally strong women, I'd do anything for one. I always seem to pick emotionally broken women who are so emotionally unstable because of past issues, it causes too much stress for me to be able to handle.

I really haven't noticed a social stigma against emotionally strong women.

[NateSean]

Let me just throw in my hand. I was raised by a mentally unstable woman, but a strong mentally unstable woman.

My sister is seven and I desperately hope she becomes a stronger woman emotionally, physically and mentally than my mother every could have been because she's all ready telling me stories about how she's being bullied. I desperately don't want her to grow up weak and easy to push around the way I did.

[Cata]

I like confident, self-assured women - women who know what they want, and aren't afraid to go after it. Conversely, I dislike pronounced musculature on anyone, male or female - I don't find it particularly appealing. I prefer smooth lines over a visible six-pack.

[Depot Denizen]

I also like confident, self-assured women. I also like seeing some muscle on a girl, though toned, like an athlete. A visible six-pack? Sure! Though there is a line when someone (man or woman) goes full body-builder like Ahnold.

[Mytical]

There is stigma's on strong women. If a woman makes it to the top of a corporate ladder (for instance)..she is almost always seen as : a <another word for female dog>, a harpy, or a shrew. Not to mention several other worse things I won't put here. Not confident, not competent, but either they got there by grinding everybody else down, or sleeping with somebody.

Heaven forbid she actually knows what she was doing.

There is also the stigma on a female that has a lot of muscles. Though, guys with a lot of muscles are often not seen as rocket scientist or such either .