A rise in "abusive" parents

[LexiaFira]

damit...sorry went on a ramble.
basically i was abused via spanking so due to that i chose not to spank my kid but thats just me out of many parents.

probably going to have that post deleted as it was more of me seeing this as oh let me ad my two cents instead of actually adding to the topic.
spanking seems to be a grey area in abuse as its either easy to spot marks or easy to cross the line in spanking too hard or not hard enough with the hand or other object.
i grew up in the 80's and 90's where from my peer group being spanked with the hand or belt was somewhat normal even though we all hated it. so as it was normal in society technically no one saw it as abuse until now.

[crashhelmet]

Don't blame the teachers in this. The rules are set up these days that if they don't report it and there is abuse, they get in trouble. Even if they didn't actually know.

One of my gaming friends is a teacher, and he was telling me about how one kid mentioned to him that another kid had a huge bruise on his back. So he had to call the other kid in and get a look at his back; he had no choice at that point, as if there was something, and it was found out he didn't investigate, he could face charges.

Turns out the kid did have a huge, hand-shaped bruise in the middle of his back, so then he had to fill out the paperwork on that.

^-.-^

The problem with this is that they skip suspicion and go straight to accusation.

I have a disease called Osteogenesis Imperfecta. As a result of it, I've had over 30 broken bone sin my life. My brother and all 3 of my sisters have it. We got it from our mom and we all passed it on to our kids and grand kids. Thankfully, we're all Type I, so we're not as fragile as some, but we're still more susceptible to breaks and fractures than the "average" person.

There were multiple instances where one of us broke our arm from doing something. Crashing on our bikes, falling on roller skates/skateboards, or something idiotic like wrestling on the top bunk of a bunk bed and falling off. I started training in martial arts when I was 6, so broken toes, fingers, and ribs were more common for me than anything.

Every time one of us got hurt, despite the constant re-education of what we have, they would always report it to the police and/or CPS as abuse. Forget the fact that we'd already been treated in an emergency room and cleared by doctors as it not being abuse. My parents got so sick of having to answer the same questions all the time that they threatened to sue.

In another case, a bunch of the neighborhood kids were playing wiffleball one day. I don't remember if it was an argument, or if they were just playing around, but one kid hit another with the wiffleball bat and bruised his arm. he went to school the next day, the teacher saw it, and reported it. CPS came in and took him and his little sister away while investigating his parents for abuse, despite the large number of witnesses saying what happened.

I understand the need to be careful and how important it is to not turn a blind eye to the possibility. They need to realize that not only are kids likely to hurt themselves doing stupid shit, but there are more signs to abuse than just bruises or broken bones.

[Racket_Man]

In another case, a bunch of the neighborhood kids were playing wiffleball one day. I don't remember if it was an argument, or if they were just playing around, but one kid hit another with the wiffleball bat and bruised his arm. he went to school the next day, the teacher saw it, and reported it. CPS came in and took him and his little sister away while investigating his parents for abuse, despite the large number of witnesses saying what happened.

I understand the need to be careful and how important it is to not turn a blind eye to the possibility. They need to realize that not only are kids likely to hurt themselves doing stupid shit, but there are more signs to abuse than just bruises or broken bones.

that sounds EXACTLY like the first ever episode of King of the Hill.

but yes teachers and counselors do go very overboard these days. I and my Ex are living proof of that.

[Mytical]

I can understand due diligence in investigating cases, but the blind zeal some have for it goes way overboard. No matter what is said, or who says it, the parent is guilty until proven innocent. I'll give you a case in point, from my own run in with child services, as a child. Before I do, I will state that when I was young my father was not quite so bi-polar, and a lot better then he is currently.
Also my father or mother, yes did spank me as a child..though I hesitate to call the little swats to my behind spanking. They hurt about as much as mosquito bites, but the fact that I had upset my parents hurt a whole lot more.

I had come down with the chicken pox..again. Yes, as in a second time, hard to believe but *shrugs*. Me, I was a rather..rotten child at the time..and not very bright sometimes . I decided that I could infect other children, by jumping from a tree in our yard. Hey I was a kid... So..I climbed up, and did a dive, breaking a rib (one of two broken bones in my whole entire life..if you don't count my back which was much later in life) and sporting a bruise. Now there were TONS of witnesses, and even while I was rotten, I admitted what had happened.

Of course, I was 'covering for my father' . A teacher basically went on a witch hunt, and could not be convinced that I had not been beaten within an inch of my life. Claimed everybody was lying to protect my dad, how they should be ashamed, and how he was going to make sure me and my siblings were taken away from my parents. He convinced a case worker, and it took quite awhile before everybody could convince the case worker that it was my own fool fault.

I still remember the traumatic events of being taken away from my family, to live with my grandmother (who really disliked me)..of looking out that car window clutching a teddy bear my sister had given me. My father standing at the door shouting "I love you! Never forget that!" To me THAT is abuse, right there..ripping a child away from a loving family...because of somebody elses mind already being made.

Yes everything worked out, and I was brought back to my family..but it is something I will never be able to forget.

[Andara Bledin]

I had a year in grade school where a school nurse was bound and determined that my home must be a terrible sty because I kept getting lice.

Nevermind that that same nurse cleared me to come back to school every time and I kept picking it up while at school.

Then again, the woman was too stupid to know that lice can't infest cats (she suggested they be shaved 9.9 ), and by the end of it, she couldn't tell the difference between dandruff and nits. Plus, if I was getting it from home, then why the hell did my brother never have them? Stupid twit. I even thought so at the time, and at 8 I was far less opinionated than I am now.

The caseworker she had sent to our house was actually pretty cool, all things considered.

^-.-^

[wolfie]

Then again, the woman was too stupid to know that lice can't infest cats (she suggested they be shaved 9.9 ), and by the end of it, she couldn't tell the difference between dandruff and nits.

That's "hanging a meatball over the plate" for Sheldon.

[Eisa]

Holy shit, I must have lived in "abuse doesn't exist" ville or something. I came to school with bruises all the time. From my family. Nothing. Sometimes I could barely sit down. Still nothing.

Wtf, Montana.

[Mytical]

*just hugs Eisa* Parents are supposed to protect their children, not hurt them.