The Great Porn Debate

[blas87]

My little brother meeting Ron Jeremy, and attending the Great Porn Debate 2008 (where Ron Jeremy and a pastor duked it out) inspired me to start a thread on here about....what else? PORN!

So what do you think? Is it disgusting? Is it normal? Is it healthy? Is it unhealthy? Does it help couples? Does it destroy them? Does it disrespect women? Does it promote cheating?

Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with adults watching porn, whether alone or with their partner. Or hell, my girlfriends and I watching it for fun. As long as it does not become an addiction or lead to cheating, I feel it's totally normal and healthy. I think nowadays with porn, stars are tested and more and more condom use is seen on videos, which is great.....just as EVERY porn advises in the beginning credits: This video is for entertainment purposes and intended for consenting adults (blah bah blah, etc etc.....if I quote it word for word it might scare you guys).

[AFPheonix]

There are some porn clips out there that are degrading to the people involved (just have to go to efukt.com to find a few examples).
There are illegal clips running around with children or animals involved that can't give their consent.
But otherwise, I don't really have a problem with it. Actually that ET one cracks me right up.

[the_std]

Yep, as long as it's between consenting adults, it's all gravy, baby!

[Dreamstalker]

Ditto. I have no problem with most of the legal stuff (some of the weirder fetishes squick me a bit, but what can ya do?). I don't see a problem with it and would go so far as to say, if porn causes such an issue in a relationship, I don't think the porn is the problem.

There's a common theme in hentai manga for drawing females to look much younger than they are, possibly even may be seen as underage by some. Is that pedophilia as some people claim? What about CGI? (to both the above questions, if there is no real person being exploited then can it truly be seen as exploitation?).

[Norton]

So what do you think?

I'll answer your questions individually. (Note I am only referring to pornography that features consenting adults. I do not tolerate abuse of children or animals.)

Q. Is it disgusting?

A. That depends on individual taste. I may find coprophilia gross, while others are turned on by it. Some people may even find seeing regular coitus in action disgusting. If you meant all pornography in general, then no, I don't think it's disgusting.

Q. Is it normal?

A. People have been watching eachother fuck since before motion pictures were even a concept. I'd say it's quite normal to want to watch others engaging in sexual activity.

Q. Is it healthy?

A. It can be. For someone who was never properly taught about sex, watching some porno before the big night can help them at least learn the proper actions.
Sexual frustration can be a powerful and detrimental force on some people (particularly teenagers). Watching porn can release sexual tension safely without the risks of sex with a partner.

Q. Is it unhealthy?

A. It can be. Again it depends on the individual watching it. Someone may immerse themselves in porn that focuses on hurting/degrading someone, and may not think about needing the consent of that person which could lead to problems when it comes to sex with a partner. Some people have addictive personalities, and watching porn may consume their lives. Some people may get a warped sense of how their partner should look/act. Basically, porn holds similiar dangers to T.V. Some people have trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy, and allow entertainment to consume them.

Q. Does it help couples?

A. Some couples, yes. If a couple has grown bored with their sex life, porn can possibly spice it up. For some couples just watching a dirty movie together is enough to rekindle their passion. For others, they may get some new ideas for the bedroom from the film. It's one more chance to salvage the sex life of a current relationship rather than looking for excitement without the other partner.


Q. Does it destroy them?

A. I don't think so. Excessive viewing of porn may be the last straw in a relationship, but I think the problems often go much deeper than the actual watching of porno. If one half of the couple is watching porn excessively, the problem is likely a deep-seated issue in the relationship, while the porn is a distraction, or an escape. I think that more often than not, giving up watching porn will not fix a broken relationship.

Q. Does it disrespect women?

Some of it does, some of it doesn't. Some porn is all about women degrading men. Some people actually like being degraded, while others are just happy to perfom sex acts on camera. As long as no one is being forced into acting in a porno or is being filmed without their knowledge, then no one is disrespected. Sure maybe that actress isn't thrilled about getting cum in her eye, but she takes it as part of her job. Sure, I hate calling deadbeat assholes "sir", but it's what I'm paid to do.

Q. Does it promote cheating?

A. I don't think so. I mentioned before that sometimes porno can be healthy in a relationship. If someone goes out and cheats on their partner, I find "porno made me do it" to be a poor excuse. Some people may watch porn and become dissatisfied with the looks/actions of their partner, but that's another case of reality vs fantasy. To me, there is no excuse for cheating - either fix the relationship, or end it and pursue whoever you wish.

[Puckishone]

In a perfect world I'd like to see women and men sell their brains rather than their bodies, but since it's not that perfect world, I think the guidelines mentioned above are fine. IMO it only becomes a problem if it becomes a replacement for human interaction. Sure, it's exciting to watch sometimes (that is, when you're not making fun of it ) but all watching and no participation leads to a warped perspective on real sex. I've known men and women who think that what you see in porn (and I mean the professionally-produced stuff, not Ho of the Week online or similar) is what people really look like and how sex is supposed to be all the time. Bleached bums, wall-to-wall Brazilians and orgasms by wire make for good porn but don't factor in too much IRL.

[Seshat]

Presuming that all involved are consenting, mentally healthy adults with reasonable levels of emotional maturity, and the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality, porn is just fine.

Note all the above disclaimers.

I'll even go far enough to say that, when viewed by mentally healthy adults who can distinguish fantasy from reality, porn is okay even when it involves drawn or CGI children or animals, or fantasy non-consent (but with genuine consent from any real actors).

But the disclaimers are important. There are obsessive people. There are people who can't or won't distinguish fantasy from reality. There are people who would see a fantasy sex-with-animals scene and want to re-create it with them in a starring role and some poor puppy ... well, let's stop there.

So until our mental health care system is better funded and staffed, porn -can- be a trigger for problems. Not a cause, but a trigger.

Otherwise? Go for it. Make all the (ethically made) porn you can, and enjoy it all you like.

[anriana]

In general porn is good.


I am well aware that there is porn out there that does not follow these stereotypes, but the majority of popular porn seems to consist of peroxide blonde women with breast implants orgasming over and over from vaginal intercourse with men with ten inch penises.


If the culture I lived in (Southern American) was more open sexually and cunnilingus wasn't considered a dirty word, the naked human body wasn't considered shameful, and porn and sexuality in general weren't considered sinful, dirty things that needed to be hidden, I would have no issues with porn at all, but I know too many people who gained their base knowledge of sex from porn. I think porn can be a great facet of a healthy sexuality, but too often it becomes the only facet and that is not healthy.

[Ree]

I'll even go far enough to say that, when viewed by mentally healthy adults who can distinguish fantasy from reality, porn is okay even when it involves drawn or CGI children or animals, or fantasy non-consent (but with genuine consent from any real actors).

I'm sorry, but I personally find that disgusting, and I have to wonder why a "healthy" adult would want to view something like that, or how they could find any entertainment value in it. In my opinion, if they do, they aren't healthy adults.

[the_std]

Ree, I am a healthy adult, and I find those kinds of things entertaining, because I can tell the difference between fantasy and reality. I can imagine lots of things I'd like to do, or like to have, that I know can't happen. That doesn't make me disconnected or unhealthy, thank you.

[Ree]

That doesn't change the fact that it repulses me that you or anyone else would find it entertaining.

I am not talking about pornography as a whole, only those things I quoted and highlighted in bold.

It doesn't matter one little bit to me whether those who do find it entertaining can tell the difference between fact and fantasy. I still cannot fathom how it could be entertaining, if, deep down there wasn't a part of the person who is being turned on by it. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if the person has a healthy grasp on reality and knows it's only posed, imaginary or animated characters, or staged situations. I cannot accept the entertainment value of it.

I am not passing judgment on anyone's character. I am stating my opinion.

[Melxb]

For me, there really isn't a debate. I think porn, with adults, is a-ok. Although I'm not inclined to certain fetishes, as long as adults are consenting I don't think there is anything wrong with them either.

Confession--I enjoy watching porn BY MYSELF. I'm a healthy, single woman. I don't think I am weird or deviant. I like Terra Patrick the best. I like redtube.com. If this makes me wrong...then I don't wanna be right!

Then again, I also think that prostitution should be legalized, but that's probably best kept to another thread.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

As an aside to Ree's opinion, I have always wondered something about animated porn myself. I had a roommate for a long time who was really into anime and manga porn, so I experienced quite a bit of it. Much of it seems to feature female (and sometimes male) characters who look really, really young. They often wear schoolgirl outfits and pigtails and have high young voices, but they are portrayed---in a weird, undefinable way---as adults. Are they supposed to represent adults who resemble children, or children acting like adults? It always confuses me.

[Seshat]

It doesn't matter one little bit to me whether those who do find it entertaining can tell the difference between fact and fantasy. I still cannot fathom how it could be entertaining, if, deep down there wasn't a part of the person who is being turned on by it. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if the person has a healthy grasp on reality and knows it's only posed, imaginary or animated characters, or staged situations. I cannot accept the entertainment value of it.

There are three major reasons I know of, but there may be others.

The first is that taboo-breaking itself is exciting to some people. It doesn't matter what the taboo is, just the idea of taboo-breaking creates an excitement. For many of those people, the act of taboo-breaking is unthinkable. They lose all their excitement just approaching it.

These are the sort of people who may fantasise about having sex in public, but get embarassed if their bra strap shows in reality. Having the fantasy of a really powerful taboo being broken can turn them on intensely - but there's no danger of them actually doing it.

(However, there are people for whom the act of taboo-breaking is also powerful. The more stupid of these end up with police records for some sort of sex crime. The smarter ones stick with mild or harmless taboos and are discreet about it.)

The second applies to the fantasy non-consent. Some people feel ashamed of their sexuality, and can only really relax into it if they're telling themselves 'it's not their fault'. So the fantasy of being forced into it is important to them. Yes, this one is psychologically unhealthy.

The third is rare, and I've encountered only one person who admitted to it. There are people who are miswired, and for whom the primary attraction is to something or someone who cannot give consent. The one I knew kept himself under strict control and was in regular consultation with his psych. He didn't volunteer whether he used drawn/CGI porn, and I didn't ask. But I can see how it might be a tool to manage the condition.

Needless to say, these people should be under psychological or psychiatric care to help them manage the condition without anyone - including them - being hurt by it.

[Ree]

Example 1 - Fair enough. It's the taboo breaking thing. Normal healthy adults only stimulated by the "idea" of it and won't act on it. I am still scratching my head over someone who is thrilled by the idea of breaking taboos.
Not my cup of tea, and I will probably never get the thrill of that type of thing, but whatever.

Example 2 - You admit it's psychologically unhealthy, so that one backs up my confusion that a normal healthy adult would be turned on by something like that.

Example 3 - Once again, not a normal healthy adult enjoying an illusion, as you have referred to them as "miswired".

I think you helped my case more so than backing up your own.