Prenuptial Agreements

[guywithashovel]

According to the two searches I did, we haven't had a thread specifically about these things, so I thought I would throw it out there.

Would you sign a prenup if you were about to get married? Would you insist upon it? If you are already married, did you sign one? If you did, what were the reasons? I've never talked to anyone IRL about this, but online, I've read comments from people (both sexes) who say they refuse to get married without one. One time, I read a story about a guy who asked his wife-to-be to sign a prenup, and it upset her so bad it ended up ending the engagement. On one hand, she couldn't believe he was entertaining the possibility of divorce, and secondly, she was abhorred that he thought she would try to take him to the cleaners through a divorce.

Honestly, if I were about to get married and my wife-to-be asked me to sign one, I would probably feel hurt. Intellectually, I can understand why someone would want one, but it's hard for me to be intellectual about stuff like this. If I were asked to sign one, my reaction would probably be, "If you really don't think you can trust me, why are you even willing to marry me?"

[AdminAssistant]

Fiance and I are both carry a similar debt load and make a similar amount of money, so I don't really see a point. In situations where one spouse is making a considerable amount more than the other - then maybe.

[gremcint]

It's not just about you though, it could also be about your relatives, everyone seems to have a golddigging relative, no prenup and an out of date will could lead to an interesting legal battle if something happened to both of you.

[Andara Bledin]

Marriage is already a contract, so I don't see why having more items set out before-hand is really that much of a deal.

A prenup, in and of itself, wouldn't bother me in the least - it's what it says that matters.

^-.-^

[HEMI6point1]

To me a pre-nup basically states you're unsure the marriage is going to last before it even starts.

The only time IMO it makes sense, like a previous person said is if someone makes a lot more money than the other.

[HYHYBT]

To me, it wouldn't make sense *not* to have one if one is vastly richer than the other, though it would still depend on the contents.

I can also sort of halfway imagine situations where you might want one if children are involved.

[Imprl59]

I would never consider getting married without a prenup and I hardly have a pot to piss in. I firmly believe that you can never know the mind of another. After seeing many people do horrible things to people they were "madly in love with" a few years ago I've come to the conclusion that love and money are two items best kept separate and defined Marriage is just another contract and one would be wise to protect themself just as they would with any other contract.

[blas87]

I wouldn't marry without one, either. I've worked too hard all my life to have some stupid guy take away any part of my retirement or benefits, just because he was my husband.

[tropicsgoddess]

I would if I was rich enough to need one to cover my ass, but other than that I would refrain from having joint accounts.

[Giggle Goose]

It seems to me that the popular preconception of prenups is that it prevents gold-digging women from taking their rich husband's money. At least in popular American culture (I mean, have you HEARD Kanye's 'Gold-digger')??!!

But as a couple others have pointed out, it protects your earned wealth in the event of something going wrong with your marriage. After watching the financial hardship my parents went through when they split up, I'd never marry without one. And like Blas said, I've worked way too hard to let some guy clean me out. Yes, it DOES happen the other way around, believe it or not.

[Greenday]

If you aren't worried about getting divorced, what's the big deal about signing one? It won't come into play if you stay together so if you signed one, you don't need to worry about it.

I'd get one if I was getting married. I don't see why not. Either it protects you when you eventually get divorced (since the majority end that way) or you don't get divorced and the prenup doesn't matter. Sure it protects you from gold diggers. But it also protects you from vindictive exes.

[Ladeeda]

100% pro-prenup here, as well. Claims that "Oh, you're just expecting it to end in divorce" are idealistic. Getting married shows you expect to be with someone for all of time, but stuff happens. Stuff happens that may not be anyone's fault, and sometimes it's just better to split.

A prenup just makes dividing what goes to each person a lot easier.

[muses_nightmare]

I probably wouldn't be bothered by it, but I don't think it will be an issue with me and my SO. Though I suppose technically we're already married, commonlaw anyway, we also have a joint bank account.

I will never understand couples, who have been together a long time (like in the case of me and my SO nearly 8 years), and/or are married who still have separate finances *shrugs* It's not that I'd expect it to happen after a year or so, heck we didn't merge our accounts until less than 2 years ago, but to have an account that your spouse has no knowledge of, if important household finances come out of that account both parties need to be able to know whats in it.

I think I might be a little bit hurt about a prenup, but I'd get over it. It'd probably be a kneejerk reaction on my part to the thought of the marriage not working out and not to the document itself.

[AdminAssistant]

We have a joint savings account already, and will probably get a joint checking account eventually. But I want to keep a separate checking account and I'm sure he does as well. *shrug*

[Andara Bledin]

Nekojin & I have been together for over a decade, and I doubt we'll ever bother with a joint bank account. We just don't have any real need for it.

^-.-^