Suicide is NOT Painless, Despite What the Song Says

[fireheart17]

This is the one that really pushed me close to ending it, my first kiss was only 13 months ago, when I was 27,

-A guy I know is in his 30's and has never had a girlfriend, let alone gone to bed with one. (friend of one of the NVG girls)
-My best mate is in his early 20's and has never done anything outside of maybe a little bit of shameless flirting. He has never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl and he's NOT gay. (I've known him since I was 10)

You are not alone.

I've struggled for a while myself on whether to end it all, mostly because the pain of coping with the emotional abuse from my mum and the abuse I received at the hands of those two guys, got too much for me.

Oddly, I learned, that folks with Borderline Personality Disorder (me), have one of the highest suicide rates. Although as the mental healh nurse explained to me, BPD is kind of like having depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder all together.

[guywithashovel]

I'm 29, and this is the extent of my relationship experience.

---I had a long term, flirty friendship with a girl during my last few years of college.

---I've had three dates in the past three years, none of which amounted to anything.

Late bloomers are probably more common than we may think.

[protege]

My last relationship (of any sort) imploded about 10 years ago Sure, I've had a couple of dates (about one every 3 years, and I'm *not* kidding) since then...but nothing really happened. Doesn't matter who I meet, or how I act. The pattern is always the same--we'll chat online at least once...and then I never hear from them again.

[Eisa]

My first kiss was when I was 20. That was also really my first...relationship experience at all. Late bloomer, too.

guywithashovel: I also look a lot younger than I really am. Youngest I've been mistaken for is 12--oldest 18 or 19. I'm 23. I hate when people tell me I'll appreciate it when I'm older. That's nice. I'm sure I will. But right now, it SUCKS to still be treated like a teenager! And no, what I wear doesn't make that much of an appreciable difference!

I think the past couple of weeks or so have been the least I have thought about suicide for a really long time, and that is ridiculously sad. When I'm down or depressed, my mind automatically falls into that groove. And I feel so silly when I do because I know people care...want me to tell them...and most of the time, I can't -actually- tell them. I dance around it like a really messed-up acrobat.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I've had just one long term relationship... and it's the one I'm in. All thru college, I wanted to find a boyf but all the guys I met wouldn't take things further cuz I had respect for my body and wouldn't have sex with them on the first date.

I look younger than I am; I've had people think I was mid twenties, however my image problems issue from being not of the group of "conventionally beautiful" people. I'm plain; with makeup and work, I can reach the platform of "pretty"; but I will never be beautiful.

[LexiaFira]

Lace, you are beautiful without makeup. The fact you didn't want to sleep on the first date means you have that much respect for you and your body.
I know you don't believe me. but the fact you were brave enough to post this shows the beauty of bravery and i hope i haven't made it worse by posting this for others to see