Woman kills self and special needs, autistic, son

[IDrinkaRum]

Maryland woman kills self and 13-year-old special needs son

Mother (divorced) and son were living in Montgomery County in the state of Maryland.

Boy had a lot of problems with the public he had been attending. Mother had evidence about his IQ lowering, needing extra help, etc., etc. She wanted to send him to Ivymount - a private school for those on the autism spectrum. The cost to go there is approximately $60,000 a year. The public school system could pay for the child to go there, but they have to agree they can't do anything else to educate the child and this is a last resort.

What's sad is that Montgomery County is one of the "richest" counties in Maryland. When I called to telephone interview the person in charge of the special education of Montgomery County, they told me that mainstreaming was the major thing they cared about. There were no autism classes, and if my daughter had a meltdown for whatever reason, the assigned aide would take her to an empty classroom for her to calm down in.

I looked Mr. Rum in the eye when he told me about this story. This just reinforces my gut instinct which says: "We're not going to Maryland. We're not letting our child get into the school system there."

[Andara Bledin]

It sounds like they're more interested in proving that they don't actually have any autistic students ('cause they're mainstream, so they're not really autistic, right? ) as opposed to actually getting their autistic students the care and attention they need in the public school system.

^-.-^

[IDrinkaRum]

You know Andara, I never really thought about it that way. But now that I have, I think you're correct.

Mainstreaming completely isn't for everyone. Child Rum does have some social and behavioral issues that need to be dealt with. Mainly, she'll start obsessing about something and that's all she can think about. She might have a meltdown because of it. Or someone sat too close to her. Or they smell like peppermint. Or they're chewing gum. Any little thing can set her off.

I've told Mr. Rum if we go to Maryland, she has to be put into a private school. I don't know where we'd get the money, but it's either that or we're not moving at all.

[insertNameHere]

This part bothers me "psychiatrist Margaret Jensvold, shot him in the head, then killed herself. " Wonder why an educated professional that should know the signs of when to get help just snaps instead of taking the advice they have likely given to others many times.

[Greenday]

Psychology is easy when it comes to figuring out other people....in my experiences.

[Andara Bledin]

It's far easier to know what's wrong in a situation you are not a part of.

Once you're in it, it can become very difficult to maintain an unbiased and rational viewpoint. Which is why many people in abusive relationships don't know that they are.

^-.-^

[Lace Neil Singer]

Mainstreaming didn't work for me at all; I was bullied, then I started fighting back. When my parents talked to the education people about taking me out of school, they dug in their heels saying that the fault was mine, that I was antisocial and that I was just starting trouble. Yeah, cuz apparently bullied kids aren't allowed to defend themselves, even when the school does nothing about the bullies.

My parents eventually threatened the education people with taking legal action if they didn't let them take me out of mainstream school, and they gave way. I went to a smaller school which was built to cater for the likes of me; mainly teenagers who nowadays would probably be diagnosed with Aspergers. So I can understand how it would be impossible for a child on the spectrum to deal with mainstream school.

I have to say tho that one thing I don't like about the story is the way that the mother killed her son, too. Whenever I read about suiciding parents who choose to take the kids with them, I just think it's a bit selfish. Take yourself out by all means, but why take the innocent child with you? If the woman hadn't managed to kill herself, she'd be on a murder charge right now, regardless of the reasoning behind her actions.

[Dreamstalker]

It sounds like they're more interested in proving that they don't actually have any autistic students ('cause they're mainstream, so they're not really autistic, right? )

That's what my high school did. I recently found out that the headmaster is VERY anti-special ed...basically if you don't/didn't have a visible physical disability the school wants nothing to do with you. Sometimes I still can't figure out exactly how I survived there...

I remember when we were in the 'high point' of fighting with the school system my mom sarcastically asked the special ed director "So you can't help my daughter with a mild learning disability, but if she got hit by a bus and wound up in a wheelchair, then she would get the help she needs?"

The answer she got, somewhat shockingly, was a serious "Yes."

[tropicsgoddess]

I get that taking care of somebody with special needs isn't easy but she could've called around to get help not just with the costs of his school but also caring for him too here and there. It's unfortunate it went to the point of no return for the mother to kill her son and then herself. I'm appalled at the lack of attention the school would have for children like him and also that they would dare to charge so much for it too.

[IDrinkaRum]

Montgomery County is one of the wealthiest counties in Maryland (Howard being the other one). Since the parents are making a lot of money, they figure they can nickel and dime the people and they will always come up with the dollars.

IF (and that's a big if) we moved to Maryland, I'd want to live in Carroll County as they have a system set up similar to what we have now in our county.

Actually, I want my daughter to attend Ezra and Friends. Ezra's mother, LT, wants to make it free for children with Autism. Right now the only thing that is getting in the way of opening it in September is money (and the need for equipment). I really wish there were more free public schools that cater to special needs children.