Are People Who Hate Kids Jerks?Article

[tropicsgoddess]

Not every one likes kids for whatever reason and not everyone wants kids. But this writer is asking what's up with so many people hating kids.

Here's the link: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features...,1402676.story


My take is that these days you have some of these "parents" that go out in public and let their kids run wild, raise their kids with the special snowflake and entitlement mentality.

A friend of mine sent me this news article about a restaurant that was going to ban kids ages 6 and younger, because they're rowdy and bother the customers. The news piece goes on to talk about such bans on airplanes.

Why are all these people so grouchy? And why do they expect parents to be able to keep their kids from crying?

If I were sitting next to one of these geezers on an airplane, and I began sobbing, runny nose and all, I'll bet I'd get some sympathy and a Kleenex. What's the difference?

Parents are expected to console their kids when they cry, calm them down and keep them entertained when they're out in public. Parental responsibility doesn't cease when you're out in public! Nobody wants to hear a screeching kid when they wanna enjoy their meal at a restaurant. Your kid may be the apple of your eye, but if they're running around like a mad man and/or screeching like a banshee, that's not cute AT ALL. Letting kids run amok in public is a safety issue not just for the kids but other patrons and the staff too. What if a staff member trips and falls because you didn't keep your kid in sight and from running around? What if the kid ends up hurting themselves or worse?! Then there's the plane thing. Who the hell wants to be in a flight hearing kids screaming and crying? I get that the pressure from the flight causes discomfort, it's one thing for a kid to cry because they're uncomfortable (and the parent trying to calm them down) versus a "parent" letting the kid cry or run around and not do shit about it.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Personally, I don't care a fuck if the person making a disturbance in the restaurant/cinema/aeroplane is eight months old, eight years old, eighteen, or eighty; it's still irritating and the person responsible should be kicked out regardless. If parents can't or won't control their feral offspring, then there's no need to inflict them on the rest of society.

Note: Whenever I see well behaved kids in restaurants, I always go up and congratulate their parents. It's so sad that this isn't the norm nowadays.

[AdminAssistant]

I may have mentioned this before, but when I flew to LA last August, there was a woman with what appeared to be a 5 year old, a 2-3 year old, and an infant, which was in a harness thing strapped to the woman. I don't know the reason that this lady was flying, but they did not appear to be going on vacation. (They got off the plane when it stopped at Albuquerque.) It was all she could do to handle the infant, corral the older kids, stow away the carry on luggage, etc. When the plane took off, all three kids kinda freaked out, the infant because of the pressure and the older two because they were scared. Hell, I was scared, and the woman next to me felt the need to reassure me that, yes, the airplane is supposed to make this much noise.

This lady was obviously doing all she could to keep her kids happy and calm, but one can only do so much. The kids cried for a bit, and there was some "Mommy Mommy Mommy" after, but nothing my mp3 player couldn't drown out. But she still got a lot of dirty looks, a lot of tsk tsk-ing, and a lot of muttered comments about "brats crying on a plane." I really felt sorry for her, and it was nice to see an elderly passenger offer to hold the infant while she got the kids together to get off the plane.

I guess the whole point of that rambling diatribe is that in restaurants, especially more adult-oriented restaurants, good behavior should be expected and screaming shouldn't be tolerated. But when you see a situation like the one I did, as bothersome as it may be, a little compassion can go a long way.

[Andara Bledin]

I love how the woman notes that she can't believe someone could not love her kids, then goes on to be hyperbolic about how her son was "attacked" by a senior citizen for jumping in the community pool. First, while she thinks her children are angels she obviously has no issues harboring ill will towards seniors, and second, the pool would have had signs prohibiting jumping which her son failed to heed.

So, to her I ask: Are people who hate senior citizens jerks?

^-.-^

[Rageaholic]

It depends on what extreme they take it. I'm someone who tries not to hate kids, but still get aggravated by screaming kids in restaurants. Let's face it, kids are ignorant and that ignorance can make them do annoying things.

But I think some people take it too far. One of the commentors had a good point. Some people have no respect for kids and say things to them that they wouldn't say to another adult. Some adults think they can just yell at kids when they see them doing things they don't like. Even if they aren't their own kids, they think they can just push them around. It's like they resent kids for some reason and try to take it out on them. THOSE people are the jerks imo.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, here's an interesting observation I've made.

I'm pretty much considered a jerk because I dislike being jostled, slobbered on, drowned out by noise, and otherwise had my personal space invaded by other people's....

wait for it....

pets.

Usually by the same people who dislike other people's children for the very same reason.

Clearly there is a double standard of some sort going on.

There was a post over on CS I didn't comment on because nothing I had to say on the matter was appropriate for that board. The gist of it was some chick was being pilloried for wanting to fish in peace without being bothered by someone else's dog (having gone of a walk with a friend bringing her two dogs along, I can relate. I will also never freaking do that again. ). Some of those doing the pillory-ing (is that a word) were the same people who would have been reacting the same way as the "jerk" had the intruder in question been a kid instead of a dog.

Just found it interesting.

However, all that aside, the thing I find the absolute most annoying when I go out is the behavior of other adults, not kids. A kid cannot be nearly as annoying as a fully grown adult. Yet, all the focus is on kids.

If I could ban anything, it would be assholes of all ages.

[jackfaire]

This lady was obviously doing all she could to keep her kids happy and calm, but one can only do so much.

People always miss this. Usually, not always, but usually when people are complaining about parents that bring kids on a flight it's because the parents aren't trying to do anything.

I had to take my daughter on a flight when she was less than a year old because we had to fly back to bury my father. We did everything we could to keep her calm and the people on the flight were very understanding because we were trying.

On the flip side I have been on flights where there are babies crying and the parents are chatting away and basically annoying the bundle of scream in their laps and if they catch people looking shrugged with that, "well whatcha gonna do" Like they couldn't do anything for their kid and weren't even going to bother trying.

I think that is where the difference comes from like others have said it's not a hating kids really it's more about hating the parents. If my daughter cried in a movie I took her out of the theater and calmed her down even if that meant missing part of the movie. That is part of being a parent.

I sometimes hear, "Well but if it's a kid's movie you shouldn't have to"

No you should still have to take your kid out because their are other kids trying to watch the movie and just because they are kids too doesn't mean they like screaming babies anymore than anyone else.

[Peppergirl]

For me, it's how the parents try to deal with stressful situations with their children. Like AA said above, the woman with the small kids was trying her best and in my opinion, the people bitching about her were assholes.

Now, if she had been letting them run amok or had an entitled attitude about their small outbursts, then I'd have been annoyed. But shit, I've been there! Most people are incredibly understanding if you actually, you know, PARENT your child when they behave badly in public. There are always going to be a few assholes who will complain, even if the fuss is minimal and the parent is trying. I say, fuck them.

I really think this latest trend of entitlement that this new breed of parents seems to have is creating a whole boatload of 'child haters'.

On that topic, I really don't have a problem with people who don't like kids as long as they're not mean to them.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Yeah; if I see a parent doing all they can to deal with their child, then my reaction is more likely to be sympathetic than if they're yapping on their mobile and ignoring their child's bad behaviour... or, as I have personally seen, encouraging it.

Yes, I once saw this woman encouraging her son to screech louder and louder. -.- Cuz it's happy noise, and therefore in her little world, is inaudable to other people.

I have to admit; my main antisocial thought when I see something like that is the urge to deal out a slapping... not to the child, but to the parent.

[jackfaire]

I have to admit; my main antisocial thought when I see something like that is the urge to deal out a slapping... not to the child, but to the parent.

Where do I buy a ticket to that show?

[MaggieTheCat]

If I were sitting next to one of these geezers on an airplane, and I began sobbing, runny nose and all, I'll bet I'd get some sympathy and a Kleenex. What's the difference?

Personally, I don't care a fuck if the person making a disturbance in the restaurant/cinema/aeroplane is eight months old, eight years old, eighteen, or eighty; it's still irritating and the person responsible should be kicked out regardless.

Pretty much this. If I'm on a plane near someone who is distressed for whatever reason and is quietly crying or sniffling, I will most likely be sympathetic, as long as that person isn't pitching a fit about it. If it's an adult and they're trying to keep things under control, or if it's a child and the parent is trying to calm them, it's all good.

If I'm on a plane near someone who is bawling at the top of their lungs, kicking, screaming, flailing their arms, and pitching a shit fit, I am going to be pissed off, whether it's a 2 year old kid or a 32 "child" having a meltdown. If it's a kid and the parents are at least trying to comfort them, I will be more understanding. But there is a big damn difference between crying quietly and sniffling a bit, and making the nearby passengers' ears bleed.

Most adults, if they're scared of the plane or upset because they're going to grandma's funeral or whatever, are probably not going to be flailing around and screaming at the top of their lungs. Children in distress for the same reasons very well may be. THAT is the difference, at least from my perspective.

[mikoyan29]

If I see the parent trying to actively engage the child in order to get the child to quiet down, I don't mind the screaming child so much. In fact, I have been known to make origami swans or balls for said child...sometimes that actually works. If I don't see that on the part of the parent, then I get a little mad. I think it is all in context but then again, I like kids.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm not very good with kids, but it was funny at work once when a child started grizzling cuz his mother wouldn't buy him sweets. I just remembered what my mum always said to the kids she minded when the same thing happened; I looked at the child and said, "What an ugly face to pull! Where are the tears?" and he stopped. Well, he didn't smile or anything, but he stopped making a noise. His mother just laughed, and said that she was going to say the exact same thing.

This person here http://mommyish.com/stuff/adultism-p...d-of-children/ is a prime example of the kind of thing that people are saying on this topic. Our beef is not with children; we don't "hate" them. What we DO hate are the lazy, selfish, uncaring parents who let their brats run around shrieking in public places and who think that just cuz they have bred, they are automatically exempt from the basic book of manners.

[guywithashovel]

Honestly, if you hate all kids, then I really don't think that's much different than hating all women, men, black people, Jews, Christians, etc. It's just basic prejudice.

And RecoveringKinkoid has a good point. Many people who grumble about kids in public places act in many of the same ways as the entitled parents, only in different circumstances. Many of them do have pets that they treat like children, and they often think everyone should be fawning all over those pets. Granted, many pets are adorable, but as much as it probably hurts some people's feelings, I'm not going to fawn all over someone's rottweiler or doberman. Most of those dogs are too aggressive and (to be blunt) mean to be cute and likeable.

Also, I once read an article that quoted a childfree woman lamenting the fact that no one threw her a shower for choosing not to have kids. She apparently felt a little envious of some of her friends who had baby showers thrown for them. Should we also give someone a housewarming party for not buying a new home? Maybe we should give someone a wedding shower for not getting married.

[mikoyan29]

In response that article, we've got enough -isms that we do not need to make up new ones. I don't recall the people that would like childfree spaces indicating that we should herd all children and put them somewhere (like America or Siberia or something). They just want places they can go where they don't have to deal with shrieking kids or kids running around the tables or kids throwing stuff all over the place or whatever. Also, the author seemed to say that I somehow have a repsonsibility for her kids, I did not choose to have her kids and judging by the attitude in that article, I would not want to have her kids. My only responsibility is to remind the parents of theirs. All I can say is that if I were at a restaurant and doing half the shit that kids do these days....I don't think I'd be typing this response.