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What if Your Mother had an Abortion

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  • What if Your Mother had an Abortion

    Often, when abortion is being debated, the pro-life participant will ask the pro-choice participant this question. It won't always be worded this way, but the principle is there, nonetheless.

    To me, this question seems kind of tricky. I'm sure many pro-choice people have good responses to it. However, it can take the discussion into some nasty territories if you are not careful. Initially, the pro-choicer might say, "Well, if my mother had an abortion when she was pregnant with me, I wouldn't be here, but I never would have known otherwise." That may be a good response from some people's points-of-view, but the pro-lifer could easily twist that around and make it look as though the pro-choicer has no value for life, since he supposedly wouldn't care if he never existed.

    A somewhat similar argument is often presented by a strongly pro-life woman on another board I sometimes go to (though not that much anymore). She likes to say that if abortion had been legal when her mother got pregnant with her, she would never have been born. Also, she apparently got pregnant herself when she was in her late teens, and evidently, she'd been tempted to get an abortion then. When abortion rears its head on the discussion boards, she likes to rant about how pro-choicers are wishing her and her child out of existence by supporting abortion rights. Of course, at this point, there probably isn't much point in trying to discuss the issue, because anything you say is going to send the person into delerium, most likely.

  • #2
    My response to 'what if your mother had an abortion' tends to be 'How do you know she didn't?' Concidering you CAN both have children, and have had an abortion...And the time it takes them to try and process your statement gives you time to quietly slip away
    Happiness is too rare in this world to actually lose it because someone wishes it upon you. -Flyndaran

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    • #3
      My mother chose to have me. She could have just as easily chosen not to. Either way, it was her choice.

      "The future is always born in pain... If we are wise what is born of that pain matures into the promise of a better world." --G'Kar, "Babylon 5"

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      • #4
        My answer to that is, "My mother did have an abortion then she waited until she was ready to have children. She had my brother, me, my sister, and my little brother. She has never forgotten the first child that might have been and like with all decisions we make in life will from time to time wonders what if? She does know that she wasn't ready to be a mother but also wouldn't have been able to give up the child for adoption and chose what for her was the more humane choice."
        Jack Faire
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        • #5
          My response is that such a question is irrelevant pseudo-intellectual wankery that deserves no place in a proper debate.

          ^-.-^
          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Andara Bledin View Post
            ...irrelevant pseudo-intellectual wankery...
            It's that, but it's worse than that, too. It's emotional blackmail. What they're saying is that your life is worthwhile, right? Aren't the lives of all those aborted children worthwhile, too?
            "The future is always born in pain... If we are wise what is born of that pain matures into the promise of a better world." --G'Kar, "Babylon 5"

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ghel View Post
              It's that, but it's worse than that, too. It's emotional blackmail. What they're saying is that your life is worthwhile, right? Aren't the lives of all those aborted children worthwhile, too?
              Then ask them, "What if Hitler's mom had an abortion"
              Jack Faire
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              • #8
                Originally posted by Ghel View Post
                It's emotional blackmail.
                This. I was trying to think of a proper way to say it, and this is it.

                I got pregnant at 17 and had my oldest at 18, and my pro-life mother (in a panic) pushed me to get an abortion. I refused, despite being pro-choice. He's 23 now. And the evil brat in me reminded her a few times of this when she and I would fight when Randy was little, because she was so in love with her grandson.

                It was emotional blackmail and I'm completely ashamed that I used to behave that way.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by jackfaire
                  Then ask them, "What if Hitler's mom had an abortion"
                  Then you backfire with "What if Hitler had gotten into his art college?"

                  Personally, I'm pro-life, but I hate that question. All children deserve a chance on their own merits, not on the merit of the fact that you have merit.
                  I has a blog!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kheldarson View Post
                    Then you backfire with "What if Hitler had gotten into his art college?"
                    My point was mostly it is a ridiculous hypothetical question and you can shoot back an equally ridiculous question. The answer I put above is how I would answer it and if they persisted, "No I mean what if your mom aborted you" I would tell the person they had stopped taking the conversation seriously and that we could continue the topic at a later point in time when they wanted to be serious about it again.
                    Jack Faire
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                    • #11
                      "I can't belive your sperm was the fastest."

                      If my mother chose to abort me, well there is nothing I could do or say to change that fact, irregardless of how I feel about myself (low/high selfesteem/worth) and as I'm posting this it's obvious that I was not aborted.

                      I could have not been born due to numerous circumstances, my sperm hit the egg first so ner, any other and I would not be me, simple as, someone else would have been born, male for female. My father could have worn protection or cracked one off earlier, and my sperm would have hurtled towards an untimley demise in kleenex or durex.

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                      • #12
                        There's another side to the "What if your mother had an abortion?" question that a lot of people don't think about.

                        My mom had two miscarriages and three live births. One miscarriage (spontaneous abortion), had it been carried to term, would have still be gestating when I was conceived.

                        So it is quite possible that you can ask that question of someone who would *not* be alive if their mother had *not* had an abortion.

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                        • #13
                          My response?

                          "I wouldn't be here to give a damn about it."

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Cymberleah View Post
                            So it is quite possible that you can ask that question of someone who would *not* be alive if their mother had *not* had an abortion.
                            A valid point, one that is probably overlooked by everyone but those alive today because of it.

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                            • #15
                              A favourite statement by rabid pro-lifers is "What if that child you aborted would have grown up to cure cancer?"

                              To which the only reply is "What if the child had grown up to be the next Stalin?"
                              "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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