Bullying - A Rant (long)

[Kheldarson]

So...you'd let your pride kill you, Smiley?

Instead of asking for help you'd rather die? Instead of building up alliances, you'd rather lash out?

Sounds lonely and dangerous to me.

[the_std]

Smiley, the very idea that you think all bullies are religious is just so absurd that I cannot wrap my mind around it. I don't know where you get that other than the seemingly-backward state you live in. Your state contains approximately 2,700,000 people, and the percentage of them who are of Christian denomination is, according to Wikipedia, 82%. That is 2,214,000 Christians. It is currently estimated that there are 2.2 BILLION with a B Christians in the world. That leaves two billion one hundred ninety-seven million people who don't fit into your scary little stereotype. So even if every single Christian in your rather insignificant neck of the woods was a redneck, gay-bashing xenophobe slavering at the mouth for any chance to kill someone different than him, that is such a small amount of the Christian population. I am extremely disappointed that you continue to spew such slander and hate when you are obviously intelligent in so many other ways.

To give you perspective, I am an atheist who was bullied through school. I went to Catholic schools my whole life. The majority of my bullies were therefore Christian. And yet I still cannot narrow my view of life enough to even pretend that my bullies = all bullies ever in the whole world or to say that religion was the instigation for their bullying, rather than their personality types. There was a huge percentage of the Christian population of my school who DIDN'T bully me. But maybe, according to your logic, they were just never given the opportunity, even though they're all bullies, deep down inside.

I'm sorry for whatever pain has caused your viewpoints to twist this way, smiley, but you're offending a very large percentage of this board (including me, who is an aspiring teacher) with completely unnecessary stereotyping, and that makes you as bad as the people you say you hate so much.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I would argue that someone who is victimized by a bully who then turns around and does the exact same thing to others is worse than the bully who victimized them.

Because that person ought to know how wrong it is.

[Mytical]

First off *offers Smiley a hug*. We have not lived your life, and can only give our perspective from the life we have lived. I am sorry you were bullied, and wish things could have been different. That being said, I want you to think about something.

When you hear people saying things about homosexuals, painting them in broad strokes. How does that come across to you? If any of the people on here, who happened to be Christian, would say something to the effect of "All homosexuals are pedophiles" just because that is what they are taught..you will probably be pissed..and rightly so.

Just remember hate breeds hate.

I happen to know quite a few christians that have marched in Pride parades.

Labels do not lessen the people we attach the label to..it lessens ourselves. If somebody does something bad, and happens to be gay, does that mean all gay people are bad? Of course not. People are individuals. Christians do not hate you, some people who happen to be Christian might, but not all.

Nothing we say will probably change anything, and it might even cause ill will, but I will just close with this. We may disagree with you, and it might feel as if you are being attacked, but some of us do think you are teh awesome. We all can't agree on everything, but what family can?

[Canarr]

So, maybe you won't have cable tv or a shower right down the hall. Dude...you can get a hot shower in a truck stop and frankly, as far as cable goes, nothing on right now is worth getting killed over. Not since Firefly was cancelled, anyways.

Beautiful...

So, since we're on the subject of religion already... can I ask your position on divorce?

I would argue that someone who is victimized by a bully who then turns around and does the exact same thing to others is worse than the bully who victimized them.

Because that person ought to know how wrong it is.

Unfortunately, that seems to be a recurring theme in the human personality: find someone smaller than you to kick around - *especially* if you're already being kicked yourself.

I remember a documentary, years back, before the Taliban were driven out of Kabul, about Jews in Kabul. Yes, there were Jews in Kabul during the Taliban occupation. Two, to be precise.

And they hated each other.

Here's the gist of it:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005...an.declanwalsh
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...2005Jan26.html

So, in a place where everybody else hated and persecuted them, they still went out of their way to make life even more miserable for each other. But apparently, there's some deep-seated need in people to find someone else to blame for their misery. I guess it's easier to wallow in self-pity and "righteous" indignation than to actually get up and do something about it.

Labels do not lessen the people we attach the label to..it lessens ourselves.

Nicely said.

[SkullKing]

Smiley.

I can appreciate your hate.

And I can respect your desire to die rather than to run away and lose what you do have.

However, you said you never met an atheist bully, so I have to ask:

In this place you live, how many atheists in a position of power(and therefore, able to bully someone) have you met?

I don´t deny that all the religious people you know are assholes.

however, they are not assholes because they have that religious position. They have that religious position because they are assholes. telling yourself that if it were not for religion, they would be nice people(as if they were forced to be assholes) is giving them more credit than they deserve.

Bullies like power, so it is natural for them to gravitate toward organizations that will give them power, or allow them to bully others. In your case it is churches. In other places it would be gangs, or LEO/military.



That said, I wish you all the good luck you can have in getting yourself enough money to get out of there(And once out of there it may be very easier for you to find a decent job, since so many people won´t be judging you)

And I do mean it.

[SkullKing]

Also, I assume there is no way for you to call the police for harassment or getting a restraining order?

[Lace Neil Singer]

I was bullied in school, right up to third year when I finally snapped under the pressure and lashed out. The bullying was mostly verbal, with some physical incidents like tripping, pushing and hair pulling (I had hair down to my butt when I was at school) and some other in between incidents, like putting notes in my desk with "We hope you die" and "Please do the world a favour and kill yourself" on them.

At first, I tried to do what the teachers suggested; ie, walking away, ignoring them, trying to talk to them. None worked. When I snapped and beat the shit out of one of the bullies, well, THAT worked. When I came back to school after my suspension (the bully wasn't punished at all, unless you count the beating that I gave her), the bullying eventually tailed off. Every time someone pushed me, tripped me, called me names, gave me a spiteful note or anything else, I punched them.

Eventually, I was branded a troublemaker who started fights over nothing. My parents took me out of school in fifth year cuz they were sick and tired of the way that the school tried to make out that the bullying was my fault cuz I was antisocial and violent. I got on fine at the next school I went to, but one thing that bugs me is that what happened to me is still going on at other schools today.

I was singled out for having big breasts and being friendly with boys, which to the girls I went to school with translates as being a total slapper. I also read loads of big, difficult looking books and got good marks in class. Basically, you don't need to have some big issue for bullies to pick on you. Whatever they can't find about you to pick on, they make up. The bullies spread rumours about me being a devil worshipper as well as being a slag; neither of which were true. There is no way to prevent bullying.

But there are ways to stop it. If schools took it more seriously, as the crime it is, instead of a) trying to sweep it under the carpet or b) justifying the bullying by blaming the victim. The bullies should have to leave the school via expulsion, rather than the victim having to leave and find a new school.

[KellyHabersham]

I was bullied on and off from about fifth grade through high school........much of it being due medical/health issues which weren't entirely under my control. I had severe excema on my hands, would scratch often, and other people found this weird/disgusting......wish I had a dime for every nasty comment I'd gotten over the years. (fortunately, I can say that this has greatly healed since)

And then some of it was due to Aspberger's issues - I was unable to see where things I did or said would appear odd to others, and it happened a few times that I was kind of a target for kids whom I didn't know/had no previous contact with at all.

[protege]

I shudder at the amount of paint you must purchase, what with the whopping large brushstrokes you use in order to judge everyone so harshly.

By his logic, I should hate all gay people. Why? One of them made an unwanted sexual comment to me awhile back. So, by his logic, I should hate them all...even those who I've never met. Fair is fair, right. See how fucked up that sort of thinking is?

I've always tried to take people on a case-by-case basis. That is, being an asshole knows no boundaries. I've met religious assholes, gay assholes (yes, they *do* exist), assholes who are into foreign cars, assholes into domestics, assholes who I work with, assholes online, etc. But, along the way, I met some pretty awesome people as well. Except for Canadians. They just piss me off

...and now I probably should start dodging the snowballs, and find somewhere to hide when the army of polar bears comes looking for me

[HYHYBT]

When you hear people saying things about homosexuals, painting them in broad strokes. How does that come across to you? If any of the people on here, who happened to be Christian, would say something to the effect of "All homosexuals are pedophiles" just because that is what they are taught..you will probably be pissed..and rightly so.

A better analogy would probably be "all homosexuals are just focused on lust and the next random hookup." Still insulting to those who are not, but true of enough people, particularly among the most visible gay people, that it sort of makes sense if you don't care to think. (Even though, of course, there are straight people like that too.)

[lordlundar]

But, along the way, I met some pretty awesome people as well. Except for Canadians. They just piss me off

...and now I probably should start dodging the snowballs, and find somewhere to hide when the army of polar bears comes looking for me

Alaskans send the polar bears, we send Moose and Grizzlies after you. And let me tell you, I'd rater deal with a polar bear than a pissed off moose.

[patiokitty]

I don't hate people because of their sexuality, race, religion, or what they wear - I hate them because they are assholes. I take each person as an individual case rather than paint a whole bunch with the same brush. To do that would make me as discriminatory as they are and I'd rather not be like that, thank you very much.

Like I told my brother when he was ranting about me treating him like shit because he's gay: "I don't hate you because you're gay - I hate you because you're an asshole!" I identify as pansexual and kinky so it would be rather hypocritical to hate him because he's gay. No, it has everything to do with the fact he's an asshole who uses his sexuality as an excuse to get away with being an asshole in the first place.

Shit, I had teachers that treated me like shit for various reasons - I don't hate them all, and I plan on becoming a teacher myself.

I've also been the parent defending her child against homophobic slurs from other children when the school refused to step in and do something about it, instead telling my son to ignore the issue. Fuck that noise - I hate the assholes who recommended that course of action but not all the teachers at the school, the school itself, or even the school district, just like I hate the children who thought they could get away with such bullshit towards my son, and that leads me to hate the assholes who raised them!

No, I don't hate broad bands of people simply because of their race, religion, colour, etc - I hate them because they are assholes. Assholes come in all shapes and sizes, religious or not. And some assholes are worse than others, and some assholes are tolerable in small doses.

[Teysa]

I was bullied as a kid. Junior High was the worst. I no longer hate my tormentors. After all, I'm not the same person I was at twelve. Chances are, they aren't either. It took me many years to come to this point, don't get me wrong, but I finally decided it wasn't worth the energy to hold a grudge against them. Besides, I've got better things to do with my time.

But yes, the bullying does need to stop. No child should have to dread going to school or feel they have to fake being sick, just to get a reprieve.

Oh, as an aside, much of the bullying I received was because the kids at school thought I was gay just because I wasn't interested in boys yet.

[Mytical]

Quite a few people, when I was in school, thought I was gay. When I was diagnosed with a terminal illness (that has yet to take me down 13+ years later) and I was trying to find a way to tell my mother..the first question she asked was. "Are you gay?" thinking that was the secret I was keeping..so even my parents were convinced I was secretly gay.

A lot of stereotypes exist, and they really shouldn't anymore. We try to fit labels on people, and can not seem to realize that people are individuals. That even if two people share something in common, they can also have differences.

Some people call others sheep because they follow a certain belief or thought pattern, not realizing that they also are 'sheep' also. Trying to 'stand out in a crowd' is not new. Not liking any band that is popular is not new. Rebelling is not new.

Hmm I am rambling again huh? Anyhow the point is, I might agree 99% with a philosophy/etc but that does not mean that I am the same as somebody else who agrees 99% or 100% or whatever.

I do think we are also too politically correct sometimes, but that is another fratch for another day though.