Bullying - A Rant (long)

[mooncat]

Many of you have seen this story:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/jamey-r...ry?id=14580832

I never met this kid, but this makes me incredibly angry.

I was bullied in school. So were my siblings. For me, it lasted from 4th grade through eighth, and some in high school. We were the quiet kids, the shy kids, the ones who didn't like to fight. We were natural targets for the predatory brats we went to school with. The harrassment was verbal, physical and constant. Some of it would today be considered sexual in nature. It went on behind the teachers' backs and sometimes even when they were facing the class. It happened in class, in the halls, in church during Mass, in the schoolyard and on the walk home.

In the 60's & 70's there were no anti-bullying campaigns & no recognition of the problem at all. My mother was labeled a trouble-maker for trying to put a stop to it. She did what she could, but she & my father were both caught up in personal problems and a bad marriage, and in those days you just didn't take your kid out of school for this. Plus, every kid knew that if you complained about bullying, it just got worse. In those days, I was afraid to fight back, I didn't have the temperament for it. But to this day, if I had the opportunity to beat the shit out of one of those assholes, I would take it, and enjoy it.

The police & the DA are considering criminal charges in this particular case. I don't except much to come of that - it never does- but in the meantime, I hope the kids who bullied Jamey feel the fear that they made him feel. I hope they can't eat, sleep or concentrate on school. I hope they know the humiliation they put him through. Understand, I do not suggest or advocate violence against them. I don't hold their parents blameless, but I don't accept that they "are just kids," or "didn't know what they were doing." How can anyone NOT know that it's WRONG to tell someone repeatedly, "You should die"? I just want them to accept that they caused great harm, to "own their sins" as some would say, and to realize on a gut level what they've done.

There is to be a memorial and a march for Jamey on Sunday evening in our town. My sisters & I want to go, in support of Jamey & his family, and anyone else who is going through this or has in the past. It affects your whole life, and this shit needs to stop.

[AdminAssistant]

I'm pretty sure that the kids who are doing this are the children of the adults who booed the gay soldier during the Republican debated. Homophobia begets homophobia, and it's perpetrated by parents, institutions, and religion. The bullies absolutely must be punished.

[Gravekeeper]

That said, in all frank honesty, if you bully someone at school like this, you should forfeit your right to a public education. End of story. Your parents can home school you or send you to private school if they'll have you. But you can get the fuck out of the public system. You don't deserve tax payer dollars being wasted on you.

[SkullKing]

That is why my little sister is growing-up learning how to fight.

I was bullied, and bullied and bullied.

Until I decided to get violent.

I don´t care what other people say, violence works.

[Talon]

I don´t care what other people say, violence works.

I'd argue that the threat of violence is one of the better deterrents. But that only works if you're prepared to follow through.

Violence should be a tool of last resort. But someone who isn't willing to do violence under any circumstances has pointlessly crippled themselves.

[SkullKing]

I would say that only works if the other berson BELIEVES you are willing to follow.

Some people can really bluff

[Andara Bledin]

I would say that only works if the other berson BELIEVES you are willing to follow.

Some people can really bluff

I'm a pacifist. I'll defend myself, but only as necessary.

It never came up, however, because the bullies in my school thought I was meaner than them. All because I have an angry-looking expression when I concentrate, and since I was a loner (not really by choice), I was always concentrating on my books.

^-.-^

[bara]

I was a victim of bullying in middle school in 6th and 7th grades. It made my days hell on earth. I wasnt afraid of them, but they seemed to work in packs. Never less than three so I put up with it and told my dad what was going on.
After a few calls to the principle and school board netted nothing he called the local police who did put a stop to it by letting the ones responsible know that with all the eyewitnesses they talked to if there was any sort of call about them again they would be brought up on assault charges. The police knew these kids already and they all had a record of some sort. So any trouble they got into wouldve sucked for them.


One thing I do know about bullys everywhere, they are always cowards and they seem to hate themselves more than anyone else. They think that if they can make someone else feel bad enough itll make them feel good, it doesnt work.

[Andara Bledin]

My brother was bullied for a while. Some local high school senior liked beating on the middle school kids. And, since he wasn't 18, yet, he (and his ignorant asshole parents) thought he wouldn't get in trouble for it.

So my mom went to have a little discussion with his. She expressed that he wasn't an adult so she didn't care. It got heated, and the woman threatened to send her husband over to have a "chat" with our dad. You can see where the kid got it from. Well, the chat with our dad never really happened because our dad at the time was 6'1" of toned muscle with a scraggly beard. He looked like an irritated biker weightlifter on most days.

The bullying finally stopped when my mom sent the local police round to have a little discussion about how much trouble the kid actually could get in despite his not yet being 18.

^-.-^

[HYHYBT]

I just want them to accept that they caused great harm, to "own their sins" as some would say, and to realize on a gut level what they've done.

I wonder how many of them would see that as a bad thing, considering "what" he was. I suspect more than would have said so before he killed himself... but there are the other kind of people as well, who really do see a gay kid dying as a good thing.

[Android Kaeli]

I was bullied at the tail end of elementry school and through the first two years of middle school, and I can see why I was. I was, in essence, a crybaby and would get worked up over it. Horrible thing was that the bullies not only rode my bus, but also lived on the same street as I did, was best friends with a couple of my own "friends" and often had their bikes fixed by my dad. There wasn't anything I could really do about it, because even my "friends" at the time just shrugged it off.

[mooncat]

I wonder how many of them would see that as a bad thing, considering "what" he was. I suspect more than would have said so before he killed himself... but there are the other kind of people as well, who really do see a gay kid dying as a good thing.

You are correct. Today's paper said this boy's older sister is now being screamed at. The cops are looking into that as well (possible harrassment charges). It looks like this whole situation will only get worse, not better.

Gods, it's been OVER FORTY YEARS since it happened to me! Why is it still happening? Why is there so much hate out there, and so many kids--kids!--feeding off of it?

And you know what, I don't even believe that all bullies are kids who hate themselves. I believe that some of them really believe they're better than the kids they pick on. It's what their parents teach them. Bully kids grow up to be bully parents, they think everyone else is shit. We all see them as SC's and EW's. These are their kids. It's depressing, disheartening and scary.

[Amanita]

^This. True, some bullies do have low self esteem or are coming from shitty situations and trying to build themselves up by putting others down. But really, it's not true for a lot of them. It's massive entitlement. They DO think they're better than other people, and they're "just telling it how it is". Or that they don't care who they hurt or how badly, they're entitled to their fun. I encountered this personally. I used to get picked on royally in school, junior high being the absolute worst fuck-pit of hell. One teacher asked a classmate of mine just why she and the other students harassed me constantly, and she answered "We're just having fun!"
Yeah, fun. Tormenting another human being to the breaking point with emotional and physical abuse, and even sexual harrassment is just so fucking fun. I'm not even going to call it "bullying" or some such cutesy name, let's call it what it is. Harassment, emotional and psychological abuse, assault and battery, uttering threats, sexual harassment and assault.
That's what that shit is, maybe pressing charges (with real world consequences) against some of the shits who think it's a game might change their tune.

[Mytical]

When I was really really young, I developed a reputation. When 5th graders would pick on my brother (who was in 4th grade) I (in kindergarten) would beat them up. No .. really. So when I became a pacifist..people still sort of just left me alone and got out of my way. Only bully I have to deal with is my dad.

[Evandril]

They say Lady Gaga is interested in the case...want to know what would *really* cause some waves? If she put her money into replacing the people in charge of that school with people who care about bullying...and possibly get the point across that if you ignore it, you could just lose your nice secure job...

Yeah, it's a dream, but it still sounds good