Naughty Sperm Donor?

[Panacea]

Correct me if I'm wrong but do the Sperm banks check your health history extensively?

Yes. And that's at the crux of the issue. The FDA is actually not telling this man he can't be a sperm donor on his own. They're telling him he can't donate his sperm without the legally required health checks. He says he can't afford to give the sperm away for free if he does that.

Tough shit, I say.

[Greenday]

Yes. And that's at the crux of the issue. The FDA is actually not telling this man he can't be a sperm donor on his own. They're telling him he can't donate his sperm without the legally required health checks. He says he can't afford to give the sperm away for free if he does that.

Tough shit, I say.

So let's say I'm infertile, I'm married, and we want kids. My friend, who is healthy and has NO health problems, wants to just give us some sperm. We can't afford to go through all the medical tests and such. Would you say tough shit to us, even though there's nothing unhealthy about my friend?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

According to the FDA, who needs to stop trying to stick their, um, fingers in where they don't belong, it's fine as long as your friend's swimmers don't see any sunshine while their on their way to your wife's cervix.

According to this logic, then nobody can ejaculate without a license. Seriously, if it's hazardous material, then how come it can go into any orifice of a partner, but the moment the guy puts it into a dixie cup, he's breaking the law?

What if a guy whacks off into a tissue and leaves it in a waste can? Do we need to call out a hazmat team for that?

I'm not trying to be crude here, but seriously? Does something magical happen to semen when it is exposed to air and daylight that somehow makes it dangerous?

This makes absolutely no sense. Semen is not a controlled substance. It cannot be made into a controlled substance.

[Greenday]

I'm not trying to be crude here, but seriously? Does something magical happen to semen when it is exposed to air and daylight that somehow makes it dangerous?

There's an episode of South Park you need to see.

[Rapscallion]

This makes absolutely no sense. Semen is not a controlled substance. It cannot be made into a controlled substance.

I think it's the procedure that's under the jurisdiction of the FDA, not the product.

Rapscallion

[Boozy]

The sperm is subjected to health screening laws and medical checks because it is being used in a medical procedure (in-vitro fertilization.)

If the couple using the donated sperm decided to use a turkey baster in their own home, then they wouldn't be subject to those laws. But that's not what they're doing. They're using a clinic and a doctor.

When I had IVF done, the clinic was rigid about safety, screening, and legal disclosures. Using unhealthy sperm would mean that the doctor could be injecting both me and my potential offspring with a potentially uncurable disease. Doctors would greatly prefer not to do that. No one should put them in that position.

If you want to use black market sperm, go for it. There's no law that says you can't have some dudes over to your house, jack off into a turkey baster, and then attempt to impregnate yourself.

[Greenday]

I think it's the procedure that's under the jurisdiction of the FDA, not the product.

Rapscallion

Food & Drug Administration
Semen

...

[fireheart17]

So let's say I'm infertile, I'm married, and we want kids. My friend, who is healthy and has NO health problems, wants to just give us some sperm. We can't afford to go through all the medical tests and such. Would you say tough shit to us, even though there's nothing unhealthy about my friend?

Not to be crude, but there is always the route of "natural" insemination.

According to this logic, then nobody can ejaculate without a license. Seriously, if it's hazardous material, then how come it can go into any orifice of a partner, but the moment the guy puts it into a dixie cup, he's breaking the law?

This makes absolutely no sense. Semen is not a controlled substance. It cannot be made into a controlled substance.

1) Thanks to you, I will no longer look at dixie cups of icecream the same way again.

2) And now I'm picturing a shady drug dealer hiding sperm samples in his coat down an alley...."psst...psst....I've got some top-quality sperm samples here. D'ya want the Rhodes Scholar or the metho addict?"

And now for the serious part:

I suspect that part of the reason might be so that the women can't sue the guy 5 years down the track when kidlet develops a genetic illness.

[Greenday]

Not to be crude, but there is always the route of "natural" insemination.

So let my friend bang my wife? Doesn't sound like a real option.

[DrFaroohk]

There's a guy selling semen in the alley behind the hardware store. You just have to close your eyes and suck it through a hose.

[Rapscallion]

So let my friend bang my wife? Doesn't sound like a real option.

Depends on how good a friend he is. It could also require multiple applications.

Rapscallion

[Panacea]

So let's say I'm infertile, I'm married, and we want kids. My friend, who is healthy and has NO health problems, wants to just give us some sperm. We can't afford to go through all the medical tests and such. Would you say tough shit to us, even though there's nothing unhealthy about my friend?

If you're going to use natural insemination (ie sex), then I couldn't care less . . . it's none of my business what three consenting adults do.

If you're going to be using a medical procedure, then as a citizen I have a vested interested in knowing those procedures are carried out according to standard procedures of safety every time.

According to this logic, then nobody can ejaculate without a license. Seriously, if it's hazardous material, then how come it can go into any orifice of a partner, but the moment the guy puts it into a dixie cup, he's breaking the law?

What if a guy whacks off into a tissue and leaves it in a waste can? Do we need to call out a hazmat team for that?

I'm not trying to be crude here, but seriously? Does something magical happen to semen when it is exposed to air and daylight that somehow makes it dangerous?

This makes absolutely no sense. Semen is not a controlled substance. It cannot be made into a controlled substance.

No one is saying semen is a controlled substance. What it IS, is a bio-hazardous substance. It is a body fluid with a long and well documented history of transmitting both deadly (HIV, Hep C, Syphillis) and non-deadly diseases (HPV, gonorrhea, chlyamidia, herpes, trichomoniasis). There is a vested public interest in controlling the spread of these diseases.

We don't need a hazmat team for the trash can. The assumption for dealing with trash in a bath room is that there is a bio hazard in there, and therefore you should wash your hands, wear gloves, and wash again when you are done.

The issue is about medical procedures. The human body substances used in medical procedures must be free of disease for it to be used; that's the law. This applies to sperm and blood for transfusion, and organs for transplantation.

Food & Drug Administration
Semen

...

I've already addressed this issue. The FDA regulates medical procedures to ensure they are safe and effective.

So let my friend bang my wife? Doesn't sound like a real option.

That's up to you, my friend . . . .

There's a guy selling semen in the alley behind the hardware store. You just have to close your eyes and suck it through a hose.

Eeewwww.

Depends on how good a friend he is. It could also require multiple applications.

Rapscallion

Double eeeewwwww.

[Greenday]

There's a guy selling semen in the alley behind the hardware store. You just have to close your eyes and suck it through a hose.

Excellent quote, Doc. Great episode.

[Crazedclerkthe2nd]

If a woman is infertile, than she likely can't get pregnant simply by vaginal sex. Artificial insemination/IVF solves this problem by implanting a fertilized egg directly into the uterus, something that may not be possible by doing things the old fashioned way.

And that's completely aside from the issue of having a friend sleep with my wife.

[SkullKing]

Great episode.

True, but the Simpsons did it first.