Hating on teenagers

[DrFaroohk]

The sad part is, there are many kids who end up becoming the stereotype because people do lump them into one group.
I dont always blame the kid either, in fact I believe parents hold the most blame. Some kids are bad apples no matter how good a parent is.

Aye, you're being punished (treated like an idiot) for the crime (of being a stupid teen) that you didn't commit. Might as well just go do the shit you're paying for.

[Bloodsoul]

One thing I'll give Dad credit for was that he'd actually tell stories of all the crazy shit he and his friends did as teens.

Your post has just made me realized that, were I to have any kids, I wouldn't have any fun stories to tell them.

"What did I do at your age? Why I.. uh.. made my own website with GeoCities! And played Yu-Gi-Oh! and Street Fighter III! Ha ha ha haaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! "

[blas87]

See, my mom actually NEVER did anything as a teen because she was barely allowed out of the house.

My dad did a lot of naughty shit as a teen but I'm not allowed to hear about it, even as an adult myself now.

And because of such, that'd be why my parents were about to try to get me "help" for all my "problems" I was causing as a teenager. I didn't steal, I didn't have a record, the only thing that happened was I made some not so good friends and my grades slipped and I cared more about boys and friends than school. But, my mom thought she had such a criminal mastermind awful gutter bound kid.

[MrsEclipse]

I always say, "If you say our generation is worse than yours was, you're either lying to me or lying to yourself."

[Gravekeeper]

I always say, "If you say our generation is worse than yours was, you're either lying to me or lying to yourself."

Yep. I think the attitude comes from two things:

People remember all the stupid shit they did as a teenager and expect it from all teenagers and teenagers acting stupid are incredibly visible because they tend to have two qualities: A) Loud and B) Totally unaware of their surroundings. So not only do they immediately drawn attention to themselves, but they are totally unaware that they're drawing attention to themselves. Because typically speaking they haven't crossed the maturity threshold to realise there are other people in the universe yet and if they have, don't really care that much.

Conversely the normal, polite, well adjusted teenagers blend into the crowd and go unnoticed.

[senor boogie woogie]

This is just my observation, but there seems to be a lot of hating on teenagers. Not just hate but, lack of understanding and lack of respect from adults who expect the same from them.

1.)-They have less rights than adults, yet people constantly complain about how spoiled, undisciplined, and entitled they are.

I don't think teens are spoiled now for the most part. Because of the economy, quite the contrary. Now, there are wars and possibly more wars to come. The economy is horrible for people of all classes and educations and the kids now have to choose carefully their path to something. If anything else, if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, this teen generation now might be seen as a great generation of thrift and vlue who fought wars but contibuted to civilization.

Concerning sex and alcohol/drugs with teens, this has been a concern literally forever. The teen generation does less drugs and has less sex than Gen Xers and especially Baby Boomers. Yeah, kids have sex. It comes with having a sexual appetite about ten years before the brain develops in adulthood. Education is the key, and it always has been.

2.) -They are forced to go to High School with social clichs (sp?), bullying, drug use, all kinds of peer preasure, and zero tolerance policies.

I disliked High School and I felt I was an outcast and the name that the "popular kids" gave me hurts me to this day and I am almost 45 years old. But, I did have friends. One must learn to fight back. It sucks, but it is true. I will say that again, the students now are a lot more tolerant than they were even 20 years ago. People have good friendships of people of different races. Homosexuality is not taboo (as it was) anymore. Schools are getting strict on bullshit bullying behavior in the classroom. But that is only so much. Kids are bullied online. Oh shit, I would have hated (and maybe) loved to see the gossip of my school online.

Zero Tolerence Policies are insane in scope. i have read stories recently of one honor school student giving an Advil, a common, legal, a minor can buy this product legally product....to a friend and getting shipped off to the "problem High School." Same with a similar girl who accidentally took her father's bag lunch to school which had a pairing knife to cut apples which was seen as a WEAPON. Again, suspension, and outcasted to the bad kid, punishment schol for a period of time. Both were honor students. How will this effect their college admissions?

Zero Tolerence dismisses common sense. I was caught with a blade at school. I had it out and showed it to my friend. Teacher freaks out and sends me to the office. I talked to the school police officer. Showed him the knife. "Sorry, but teacher had a fit, is this legal under state law?" He told me that it was legal under state law but it was illegal on campus, but no big deal, take it home and dont take it back. That was it. In 1984.


3.) -They are singled out by cops and often abused over incredibly stupid things. (just look up cops vs skaters on youtube and you'll see what I mean).

Cops now are much more militeristic than they were in years past and they have more abilities to arrest people for flimsy shit if they want. BUT, most cities are concerned with violent street crime and are not going to bug teens from walking home and not breaking the law. Skateboarders? A lot of times these guys skate on private property and especially the young kids want to engage in stupid to deadly stunts. I saw a video once of a teenage kid trying to shalom a 50 step, three story stairwell to only far over and critically injure himself.


4.) -Some malls have curfews which ban teens from the mall without adult supervision.

Malls have had problems with kids forever. I am a male and loved "hanging out" at my shopping mall. I will say that even though this was a place to loiter as a restless teen, I did buy goods and services from the mall. I ate from the food court. I sometimes bought a book. I spent $10-20 bucks on movies and the video arcade.


The mall is the one place that they can "hang out". The problem is that the mall is a place of business and the owners of the businesses do not want excess amount of people just "hanging out". But on the other side of the coin, kids from the rich suburbs who have expendable income is not someone to be kicked out. Maybe you are being a bit overboard on this.

Malls are dying retail space anyway. By the time these teens have teens, shopping malls would have died to being stories of parents about the "good old days".

5.) -Any time they complain about something in their life, they are brushed off by "moral" adults. Just look up anything on yahoo answers and most of the time, when teens complain about something, they get told "suck it up" or "that's life". The complaints can be perfectly reasonable, but they are never taken seriously because of their age.


That is life.

There is something paculiar about humans. They feel that since they have endured something, that the next generartion should endure the same thing is it is seen as uplifting and character building. The old "I walked 5 miles baefoot in the snow in a blizzard to get to school." bit.

Let me coin a term "High-Adults". Has nothing to do with getting high.... It is the age between 18-21 when Americans have full rights of adulthood except for drinking alcohol. This is BULLSHIT. Set one age where a person is responsible for themselves. Don't sentence someone to death who is too young to drink Budwesier. On the obverse, dont trust anyone to have sex who is not trusted to make the decision to drink the Budweiser.

Happy New Years.

Ron Paul 2012!

[Gravekeeper]

This is just my observation, but there seems to be a lot of hating on teenagers. Not just hate but, lack of understanding and lack of respect from adults who expect the same from them.

Honestly, some of your observations are US specific though. The economy, lack of sex ed and crazy zero tolerence policies for example. Hell, a twit friend of mine brought a ( rather sharp and real ) shuriken of mine to school ( which in turn had been given to me but a stupid older relative that thought I liked ninja stuff ), got caught, and of course immediately blamed it on me. The principal was unimpressed and I got a chat.....and that was that. Not even detention. This was in 95(?) or so.

Only time I ever saw someone actually get expelled was a kid that got stoned off his gord then tried to giggle hack a classmate with his exacto knife in art class. >.>

[jackfaire]

When I was a teen I lived in a neighborhood split by a large very busy street running right through the middle. The nearest marked cross walk was 2-3 miles away. To get too and from your friends' places you would have to wait for traffic to be light enough and then run or bike like hell.

One time I had just gotten across except my back tire was still in the street and this woman that was speeding nailed the back end of my bike and sent me flying. Luckily I have good reflexes and landed on my feet.

My bike was totalled but other than a couple of scratches I was okay. She stopped half a block a way to make sure I didn't fall then just drove off.

When my folks reported it to the police I got the whole, "it was so wrong of you to do that to that poor lady!"

Wait I am sorry so you have us living in a decidedly unpedestrian friendly neighborhood where unless your old enough to drive you have to stay at home and wait for them to make the WWW.

Yeah apparently it was all my fault for being a kid.

Oh and I did cross at a street corner which according to the local laws makes it a crosswalk just not a marked one.

[Lace Neil Singer]

When I was a teen, my main problem was that I dressed like a Goth and therefore got pigeonholed as a problem. I also fought back against bullies at school and was labeled a troublemaker.

I will admit to having rubbished teen claims of depression, but that's cuz I have actually suffered from clinical depression and it's sad but true that a lot of teens exaggerate their feelings of angst into being depression, which is annoying. Just as it is when emo kids make little chicken scratches on their arms and claim that they're cutting themselves. -.- To someone like myself, who had a real problem with self harming resulting into a few trips to Casualty, it's just really insulting.

[Ree]

Every generation, blames the one before
And all of their frustrations, come beating on your door ~ Mike and the Mechanics "The Living Years"

I think there is a huge bias against teens.
A lot of it is unfair, but some of it is brought on by their own actions.

It's nothing new, however.

Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers. ~ Socrates, 5th Century BC

When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint. ~ Hesiod, 8th century BC

What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them? ~ Plato, 4th Century BC

The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress. ~ Attributed to Peter the Hermit, AD 12743

(Depending on the source of reference, the above quotes may or may not be attributed to those cited.)

Unfortunately, the actions of a few end up colouring the impression of all.

I do think the current generation of teens has been brought up in a self-indulgent environment.

School programs became all about feeling good with the ideal that nobody gets left behind, so many of today's teens have trouble coping with disappointment when things don't go their way.

Many of them have been raised in an instant gratification environment where they watched shows like Sesame Street and were bombarded constantly with changing images and entertainment, so that now, they come to expect to be constantly entertained, and become bored very easily.

Toys have advanced so much that they no longer have to use their imagination, so many have trouble making their own fun.

Many of them get bored easily and end up making poor choices and caving to peer pressure.

I stress that I don't mean to generalize, but I have encountered many teens either in my workplace or community, and I have seen an eroding work ethic, entitlement issues, and self-absorption to a major degree. When I see these teens, I worry for the future.

That being said, I have also come across many young people with a strong social conscience and good work ethic, and I have no doubt that the future is safe if they are going to be the decision makers of tomorrow.

I have spent a lot of time volunteering to work with teens because I think the majority of them are great people and have a lot to contribute if they are given the chance.

I have fought tooth and nail to get the respect for the teens in the youth group that I worked with. The service club who sponsored them wouldn't give them a chance to do the actual work when it came to group projects.
My teens were relegated to dishwashing and garbage cleanup rather than actually helping to serve the meals to the senior citizens at the annual Christmas dinner put on by the sponsoring service club.

The other advisor and I forced them to see that these kids were capable of so much more and could be respectable, polite young people. It was very gradual, but we got a few of them to change their view of "kids today".

I recall a few years ago, I wrote a letter to my local paper regarding biases of businesses, (one in particular), against teens, because my daughter and foster daughter had been treated incredibly rudely by a store clerk.
She mistakenly assumed my girls were there to shoplift, when, in fact, my daughter had a full paycheque in her pocket and was looking to buy a gift for a friend.

She didn't even try to help my daughter with her purchase, but instead, because my foster daughter had said she was "just looking", told them to leave her store.

I could not believe the response of support I got from parents of teens and from other teens who had heard about the letter.

That used to be my favourite place to buy cards and unique gifts, as it was for my daughter, too, but neither of us has set foot in the place in 7 years because of the actions of that clerk. (For the record, I had called the store to talk to the owner and got her voicemail. She never even responded to my complaint, so I wrote the letter to the paper.)

I had said that I have worked in retail for about 30 years, and in that time, the majority of theft has been done by adults.
I said that many of today's teens have a part time job and an income that they are looking to spend.
For store clerks to simply write off as a thief, every young person who crosses the threshold, they are pretty much shooting themselves in the foot.
While they are busy watching those teens like a hawk and chasing them from their store before they have a chance to spend a dime, those 30ish-something customers could have slipped several hundred dollars of merchandise into their bags, or will even just walk out the door without even making a purchase.

So, yeah, the situation looks grim when we look at "kids today" and generalize, but I really do have a hunch the kids are OK and things are going to turn out all right.
I don't think our future generations are doomed at all.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I had said that I have worked in retail for about 30 years, and in that time, the majority of theft has been done by adults.

When I worked at the garden centre, thefts by old ladies happened far more often than thefts by teens. No-one ever suspects the old lady! O_o

Due to my habit as a teen of walking with my head down and hands in my pockets, I was often followed by store detectives. I wonder how many shoplifters escaped out the door while the store detectives were following harmless me.

[jackfaire]

Due to my habit as a teen of walking with my head down and hands in my pockets, I was often followed by store detectives. I wonder how many shoplifters escaped out the door while the store detectives were following harmless me.

I wonder how many shoplifters use teens like that as a distraction.

[senor boogie woogie]

I was 18 years old and started my first semester at college. I was home and visiting my best friend from high school. We have known each other for several years and hung out with each other often. He still lived with his parents in a well to do suburb of the main city.

One night we were supposed to go to the movies or something but before then, he stopped in an a apartment complex to see a girl. I did not see where he went off to and figured he would be back momentarily. I waited in the car with his car keys, so I could listen to music. Well, I waited and waited and waited and waited. The little dick never came back out. I honked, called out his name to no avail. It was midnight, I was somewhat stranded but about a 40 minute walk back to his house and my car.

My first inkling was to steal his car, drive it back to his place and then retrieve my car and go home. Unfortunately for me (and for him, hee hee) I ran the battery down on his car and it would not start. This was years before mobile phones, there was no way to communicate with my friend, so I got out and decided to walk home.

It was around midnight in December. It was a bit cold, but far from freezing (maybe 45*F). I had my sweater on with jeans and climate appropraite clothing on, but without a coat (this becomes important in a minute.). But it was chilly, and I wanted to get to my car (about 2 miles away). Most of the way was walking down a usually busy six lane street, which is well lit and perfectly safe to walk on the side.

F'ing suburb cop drives past and sees me walking down the major street alone and stops me. We lived in an affluent suburb of upper middle class to rich people and the cops were strict (and could be assholes). Bozo cop stops me and asks me for my ID. Give Officer Bozo the ID and explained that I was with my friend, he ditched me and I am walking home. I live in the suburb and go to University(and showed college ID to Officer Bozo). I was stone sober, no drugs on me or in me. I am a new adult so curfew does not apply.

I asked Bozo for a ride to my car. I sit in the back while Bozo runs my ID through. Bozo calls it in to the station. Although I was over 18, a legal adult and had presented the officer with both my driver license and my student ID, they call my parents and woke them up. One of those midnight phone calls from the police that all parents dread. Am I dead? Did I commit a crime? Nope. I was observed walking down the street without a coat on. Nothing else. Stupid cop thought I was a runaway. After all that bullshit, waking my folks up for nothing, the cop was decent enough to give me a lift back to pick up my car. Parents actually thought it was funny. I did not see the humor in it at all.

This same suburban police department would not allow me to pay for a traffic ticket when I was about 17 because I was underage. I was told that I needed my parents to come with me to pay the ticket or go to court with, again, a parent or guardian. This was not a state law. I once got a ticket from the Big City and I paid the fine, no parents, no problem. Asshole suburban town.

I had to tell my father, I got yelled at and he refused to allow me to pay the ticket. My parents are from the Silent Generation who believed in doing shit the hard way because that is the best (and I hate that logic.) We all went to the fucking courthouse in jacket and ties for juvenile night court. This was on a Thursday night, which means that I got to miss Cheers, Night Court and Hill Street Blues that week. Well, Family Ties too, but only to see Justine Bateman wearing those tight jeans. One funny thing that evening was a girl who was driving and got hit by a train! I guess the dumbass was impatient and tried to beat it. The court did still fine her (you think getting hit by a fucking train would teach her a lesson). I also learned that night about court costs, that I would have to pay an extra $20 to go to this Kangeroo proceding. Oh well.

[HYHYBT]

So: it's *better,* rather than pay a ticket only, to pay the ticket plus extra fees plus hours sitting around a courthouse?

[senor boogie woogie]

My father believed that going to court is cheaper than just going down and paying for the ticket. I maintain that it is about the same and it is. I haven't gotten a ticket since 1999 so I dunno what the difference would be.

I miss the 1980's sometimes and pine for those times. But it was the very beginning of this state of being that we are in now. America got more conservative under Reagan. Just when I was at the age of majority, some assholes called MADD got the government to raise the drinking age to 21. For a period of time in the 1970's, there was a glimmer of hope that pot could be decriminalized under a certain amount. The conservatives changed that, with the "Just Say No..." crap. Then there was AIDS. Yikes, a painful, fatal disease one can get from fucking! Those awful public service announcements that said that one sexual encounter could kill you bit. Not the truth about male sodomy, needle drugs, and having multitudes of partners causes AIDS. So, by the end of the 1980's we had college kids who could not legally drink and were too afraid to express sexuality for fear of their peckers falling off.

At least I came of age before the school shootings of the 1990's and the knee jerk, search all students routine became the norm with more rules, more cops and more conformity. The rise of Zero Tolerance, which is really intolerance. If I would have flashed that pocket kknife as a tenth grader in 2004 instead of 1984, I might have been expelled and thrown in jail. Forget having aspirin, that's A DRUG!

I am an 18 year old kid who is going to graduate High School this year. What are my options?

A.) Got to college. That's great if one knows what they want to do. If not, this can be a waste of money, and a lot of money (see student debts).

B.) Join the military and possibly be sent overseas to fight a war

C.) Work some shitty retail, fast food or waiting tables job. Problem is that there