Crash is explaining the "where you show out is where you get laid out" type of parenting. Which is sort of what happened here. She showed out (a profanity-filled rant disrespecting all her parents and a family friend) in public (sorry, if a couple hundred facebook friends can see it, it isn't private) on her laptop, more than once. However, she didn't get laid out. She got a lecture and her laptop taken away.
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Father Teaches Daughter Lesson About Facebook
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Originally posted by Andara Bledin View PostIt wasn't that she was complaining about her parents.
He seemed more pissed that she complained to her friends than that she did it on Facebook.
That's why people feel this is more about punishing her for having an opinion.Jack Faire
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Originally posted by jackfaire View Post
He seemed more pissed that she complained to her friends than that she did it on Facebook.
That's why people feel this is more about punishing her for having an opinion.
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Why do people keep acting as if showing your child there are consequences for expressing your opinion in a disrespectful manner is exactly the same thing as punishing your child for having an opinion?Do not lead, for I may not follow. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Just go over there somewhere.
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Because in this case the punishment is for expressing that opinion. The opinion expressed is inherently disrespectful, if you consider this expression of it to be. There are limits on the amount of respect anyone can reasonably expect, and requiring teenagers not to vent about their parents is beyond that.
(Punishment for "disobedience" when the order disobeyed was to not express your opinions is punishment for expressing opinions.)"My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."
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Except it wasn't. She was not punished for being upset with having to do chores. She wasn't punished for the complaining itself. She was punished for the cursing and the way she talked about her parents and the family friend.
The order disobeyed was to not post things like that on facebook. Something she'd been grounded for previously.Do not lead, for I may not follow. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Just go over there somewhere.
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Originally posted by KnitShoni View PostWhy do people keep acting as if showing your child there are consequences for expressing your opinion in a disrespectful manner is exactly the same thing as punishing your child for having an opinion?
^-.-^Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden
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Maybe it's just me, but this video comes across as more of a threat than any kind of discipline. "It's about to get a whole lot harder" Also,
“The kids today ARE self entitled, spoiled, adverse to working, and basically have NO usable skills taught to them in schools,” he opines. “Yes some of you out there excel. If you’ve graduated high school and at least pay some of your own bills, then I’m not talking to you. If you however are 25 and live with your parents because you’re too lazy to get a job, then yes, I’m talking to you. Half of that is the parent’s fault for thinking that the school system is supposed to raise their kids. The other half is a parent’s fault for letting our school systems get to the utterly pathetic state they are in. It’s your kid.. so no matter what it’s ALWAYS your fault.. get it?”
He sounds like one of those idiots who expects his kids to be out of the house at 18. Well sorry pal but unless the econony gets better, that's a damn unrealistic expectation.
Asshole.
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Sounds to me like what my parents told me and we told our kids: If you are going to college and/or working, we'll let you stay here as long as you need to (provided you don't disrespect us and our house). But if you have no job, aren't looking for a job, and aren't trying to go to college or learn a trade, you're going to have to go.Do not lead, for I may not follow. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Just go over there somewhere.
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Originally posted by KnitShoni View Postand the family friend.
The dad somehow thinks it was disrespectful to refer to her as 'the cleaning lady' He apparently thinks that job title is a demeaning one or something.
That would like saying my friends kid calling me a Customer Service Rep is disrespectful.
As for teaching her the consequences. 99% of the time complaining about someone to your friends has no real consequences. Nor does swearing.Last edited by jackfaire; 02-16-2012, 01:59 AM.Jack Faire
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Originally posted by jackfaire View PostAs for teaching her the consequences. 99% of the time complaining about someone to your friends has no real consequences. Nor does swearing.Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers
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Originally posted by jackfaire View PostAs for teaching her the consequences. 99% of the time complaining about someone to your friends has no real consequences. Nor does swearing.
The issue with the whole "cleaning lady" thing was the idea that she apparently had that because this woman came in and cleaned, that should get her out of doing chores at all. Even if the woman was a full time cleaning lady, not temporarily because of some arrangement, that does not give this girl a get out of chores free pass.Do not lead, for I may not follow. Do not follow, for I may not lead. Just go over there somewhere.
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Originally posted by KnitShoni View PostUnless you're on the job...
The issue with the whole "cleaning lady" thing was the idea that she apparently had that because this woman came in and cleaned, that should get her out of doing chores at all. Even if the woman was a full time cleaning lady, not temporarily because of some arrangement, that does not give this girl a get out of chores free pass.Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers
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Originally posted by crashhelmet View PostHe punished her using the same forum that she used to warrant the punishment.
Originally posted by Andara Bledinso you have to let them be hellions in public and then make sure your punishment is private so they have to find out later on their own what the consequences end up really being.
Originally posted by jackfaireExcept his video gives that impression. He doesn't seem to care much about the venue as he mostly acknowledged that her friends were the ones to see it he seemed to focus more on "You and your friends having a big laugh thinking your so much smarter than us"
Originally posted by Andara BledinBecause it's much easier to attack the straw man of "she was punished for ranting" than to go after the "she was punished for disobeying her parent's order to not be disrespectful on Facebook."
Originally posted by GreendayExactly. A cleaning lady is to help out. Not literally do everything.
Originally posted by GreendaySorry, as a kid, she's bottom of the totem pole and gets the shit work while the adults at the top of the food chain have to do all the real, tough, important work.
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Originally posted by Gravekeeper View Post....Yes, because no where in this thread did we ever discuss any of the other core issues of the problem. Its all been about this "straw man". >.>
You're reading a whole lot more into the exchange than exists and making much ado about nothing.
^-.-^Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden
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