Spanking children

[FormerCallingCardRep]

My Grandmother told me that when she was a little girl her Mother would tell her that in 24 hours she would be punished for what she did. She said the wait was always worse then the punishment. My Great-Grandma had a bad temper and it allowed her to calm down before she disciplined her children.

[DesignFox]

that article scares me. Actually, most things about society scare me anymore. The thing holding me back from having children the most is the state of the world I'd bring them into...

[Boozy]

I must be the small, sole voice of dissent here.
(Please, be gentle. )

I've always believed that violence begets more violence. A lifetime of observation has bore me out.
Spanking children teaches them that it is okay to hit, that violence solves problems, and that violence "teaches a lesson".
I'll admit - maybe I just don't get it. I don't understand how spanking a child teaches them anything. If the goal is to spank hard enough to hurt, and therefore the pain is the consequence to their actions, then you're really just conditioning a pain response, like you would in a dog. Is that the point? If so, that's pretty awful. And if you DON'T spank hard enough to physically hurt, then what's the point at all? Where's the consequence to the child?
I'm not being sarcastic here, either. Seriously, I don't understand the thought process behind spanking, and what parents think its supposed to do for their child. Someone explain it to me.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Children are violent anyway, anyone who thinks that kids can be taught it is naive. My parents used spanking as a last resort punishment, but they didn't use it til we were at least 2. I know someone who bit her baby sister when she was about 2 years old. Her parents hadn't laid a finger on her then, yet, she still was violent towards her baby sister cuz she was jealous of not being the baby any more.

Small kids don't understand reasoning; so it's not going to work on them. They understand pain and violence and embarrassment tho; so that works. My older brother was for example given a smack cuz he pinched me when I was little. The smack taught him that it hurts when you give out hurt, so he learned a lesson there.

Smacking would be bad if you're talking about it being the only punishment, or if the parents are beating the hell out of their kids, but a law against it wouldn't stop those parents. Sure, different methods work for different kids, but why bash a method that works for some people even if it doesn't work for you? Some people praise "time out" to the skies, but it wouldn't have worked for me, cuz I'm able to go off into my own little world so even without books I'd just do that. I used to actually go off alone and sit in a corner alone off my own batt for peace and quiet, so a time out wouldn't punish me at all.

[anriana]

Serious necro yay.

I was spanked as a child. I am also an adult who is heavily into BDSM. I don't know if those two are related or not, but I am probably going to have psychological issues over whether or not they are for my entire adult life.


I don't agree with spanking a child on the bottom, especially naked or on the undergarments. Most of the posters here have said they spank/were spanked on the bum; why? Other cultures punish children on the calves, the upper back, or the hand, why do Americans prefer the area right next to the genitalia? Calves are just as fleshy and knuckles hurt more.


The original article is gone so I don't know how widespread or vague this ban was, but I would fully support a law banning spanking children on their bum.

[Boozy]

I was also spanked periodically when I was a kid, as were my siblings. Everyone did it, and it wasn't considered controversial at all.

My mother tells me that, in retrospect, it was pointless and she wouldn't do it again. My youngest sister was never spanked.

My mother would parent using looks, words, and sheer force of will. The only times she ever resorted to spanking was when she was tired, worn down, and lost it. That's not a good attitude to have when disciplining children. If you choose to spank, you've got to be in control of the situation.

We never settled down and behaved until my mother got control of herself and the situation, and realized that "Oh shit - Mom means business." By the time my mother had reached that point, spanking wasn't needed.

I think a lot of people spank their kids because they don't know what else to do. There are other options. They may not be as convenient, but then neither are children. It's called the toughest job in the world for a reason.

[tropicsgoddess]

I'm all for spanking, as long as it's not to a point where it's downright abusive.

[miffed]

Spanking children teaches them that it is okay to hit, that violence solves problems, and that violence "teaches a lesson".

Not if they're being spanked because they hit their siblings. I was spanked as a kid and never at any point thought that because my parents spanked me, violence was ok. Spanking taught me that violence was wrong.

I never really considered spanking to be violent or to be even near the same context as beating someone up. My parents always did it in a loving and calm attitude, so it never seemed like an act of violence.

Obviously I'm for.

[Boozy]

I just really feel that spanking is completely unnecessary. I think a lot of people say they are "for" spanking children, when what they really mean is that they are for disciplining children, and "spanking" and "discipline" are tightly linked in many people's minds.

My father never once spanked us, and he was a very strict disciplinarian, far more so that my mother. We would never cross him. There are hundreds of ways to instill respect for authority, respect for others, and teach right from wrong.

Why hit children to achieve that goal?

[Zyanya]

Why hit children to achieve that goal?

Because all children are different and there is no one solution to child care. For some children, a stern look is enough. For some, grounding them from a particular activity (and the activities in question vary wildly as well) works. For others, being made to do extra activities they find unpleasant is the way to go. For still others, nothing is worse than a lecture explaining why what you did was wrong.

And for others, a quick swat is the most effective if not the only way.

People are all different. Amazing, isn't it?


And I've often found that when people say 'my parent's never hit me', they are usually more often saying 'I don't really remember being spanked'. My friend B swears her mother never hit her in debates like this. I talked to her mother once, and her mother claims B's arse was black and blue pretty constantly between ages 4 and 6 due to nothing else working until 'B developed the ability to think more than 10 seconds into the future'.

[iradney]

Count me as a BIG FAT FOR

I was spanked as a child. But not for every infraction. If it was a little thing (eg not doing one of my chores) then I would get a talking to, or my pocket money docked. If it was a big thing (biting my sister, being rude to my parents) then it would be grounding or spanking. Ofc, the first (and last) time I bit my sister, she bit back. Harder I learnt my lesson.

Also, something that worked with the sliding rule of punishment, was the 3 strikes you're out. If I do something naughty once, I'm warned. If I do the SAME thing again, I'm warned and given punishment like washing cars, no tv etc. The third time shows that I'm being naughty on purpose (this is when I was about 5/6 - very advanced for my age, at 6 I was reading at Grade 9 level), so I would get a hiding.

The hiding was always administered with a flat, bare hand. My parents used a slipper once, but that's because I set fire to something and nearly burnt down the house. I would get 4 - 5 whacks on the thighs and bottom, and that would be it.

When I got older, I was too old for hidings (teens). Then they started The Lecture. Literally TWO HOURS of lecturing. I would've given anything for a hiding instead, it was over quickly!

[DesignFox]

The original article is gone so I don't know how widespread or vague this ban was, but I would fully support a law banning spanking children on their bum.

The bum is the hugest muscle in your body. It isn't likely to cause injury getting whacked there, and doesn't leave publicly visible bruises...if any.

I guess that's why kids get smacked on the bum, and I think it seems to be the least cruel.

A rap across the knuckles would be damn painful...


At least I never got the belt or the spoon or the "paddle" like some kids used to...but if I was fresh, or talked back, I got a swat across the mouth.

I think I've already made it clear that I don't support such bans. Discipline should be different depending on the child and what the parent feels is appropriate. As long as it isn't flat out abusive (constantly leaving marks, hurting the child to the point of injury, emotional abuse, etc. etc.) parents should be allowed to discipline their children as they see fit. It is each individuals' responsibility to do what works for their families...and unless they see obvious signs of abuse, to keep their noses out of everyone else's business.

[Norton]

When I got older, I was too old for hidings (teens). Then they started The Lecture. Literally TWO HOURS of lecturing. I would've given anything for a hiding instead, it was over quickly!

Haha, I understand completely! When my age hit the double-digits, I convinced my parents I was too old to be spanked. After a few years of dealing with my mother's incessant rambling lectures, I dearly wished she would've gone back to spanking me.

Rarely did it hurt when I got spanked (though I'd cry bloody murder). Only my pride was really injured. It's so embarrassing to be removed from a social situation to go get a spanking (when you're a child. Some grownups get a kick out of it ). In my old church, whenever a child would act up, all eyes would focus on the kid. The embarrassed mother would whisk the child off to the bathroom or outside. Some kids simply needed a talking-to or some fresh air, while others (like me) wouldn't calm down without being spanked. We all learned to behave in church, though. Some kids never even needed to be removed, because they saw how their peers fared after being disruptive.

Being raised like that meant that my parents could take me out in public while I was still in grade school, without worrying about me throwing temper tantrums and raising hell. People often commented how polite and patient I was even in boring situations.

I agree that spanking may not be necessary or right for every kid, but I also don't think the right to spank should be taken away from all parents. There is definitely a difference between a little physical discipline and abuse. It's a parent's job to not cross that line.

[crazylegs]

I'm for, but should I ever have to do that I will use my own hand, I WILL NOT use a weapon (belt/spoon/slipper) against a child.

[BlaqueKatt]

Its all part of motivating the kid to self correct their behavior before you have to punish them.

And that is the very definition of the word Discipline

Short version from dictionary.com(of the 14 entries)

1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.