Spanking children

[Slytovhand]

Boozy... you are not alone (sorry it took so long, I didn't see this one earlier).

While I get where everyone else is coming from, there is one thing that I think needs to be said - most parents have no idea on how to actual parent. They just go with a 'ok - let's try this and see what happens', and most of the time, it'll be either what happened to them ("Cos I got a good spanking, and there's nothing wrong with me"), or they go the other extreme and try to do the opposite.

The 'rules' are merely what those individuals (parents) decide they want to impose, and for the most part, are incredibly selfish (that is, not designed to make the child a better person, but to make them into little clones... and hope for the best).

Rahmota... I loved your ideas that you posted up on the first page

I think that parents look at their kids and see them as kids - not as human beings, and certainly not as future adults.

The same goes for the way 'kids' are spoken to in general. You speak to a child as a child, and they'll act like a child. You speak to them as an equal, and you'll see a massive difference in them.

Discipline can be done in many ways - and 'violence' or spanking should almost never come into it.

(for the record - I don't once recall my parents 'disciplining' me - taking out their anger, frustration, disappointment, vengeance - yes... but nothing I would call 'discipline'. After all, there was no 'justification' expressed - only a 'do as I tell you'... good way to raise a robot to society, and remove self-empowerment).

Slyt

[Zyanya]

Those against spanking...


How many children do you have?

[Slytovhand]

Those against spanking...


How many children do you have?

I choose to have none.

Of course, that doesn't in anyway deny me a right to an opinion, nor that the opinion might be valid

I haven't been the victim or relative of a murder either, yet I can have an opinion on the death penalty....


Slyt

[Zyanya]

Of course, that doesn't in anyway deny me a right to an opinion, nor that the opinion might be valid

Nontheless, it is interesting to note the strong tendency of parents who raise good kids to be supportive of the act of spanking a child.

You can have the opinion that you shouldn't wear a wetsuit while water-skiing on Lake Superior all you want. Let's see what happens when you actually go for a swim there.

[IDrinkaRum]

I was spanked whilst a child. I remember when I was 5, I was curled up in a chair with my father standing over me with his belt in his hand. I've been hit with fly swatters, the hand, the belt, a hair brush, and a wire clothing hanger.

The only time I spank my daughter is if she lets go of my hand and runs away from me in either the grocery store or runs across the street and I'm yelling at her to stop. Once I catch her, one swat on the butt and a stern talking to. (Though she might not understand the talking to, she understands the swat and the fact that mommy is mad).

[miffed]

Why hit children to achieve that goal?

Because it achieves that goal. Sure there's plenty other methods of discipline, but what works for some doesn't work for all (and yeah spanking doesn't work for all, but that doesn't mean then no one should use it). My parents were good at utilizing spanking, not so much on grounding and tough looks since those didn't bother me. But the swats on the butt spoke loud and clear.



My parents continued spanking us pretty much up until our mid-teens, and it was just as, if not more effective than when we were kids. It's pretty embarrassing being punished as if you were small child.

[crazylegs]

Those against spanking...


How many children do you have?

I also have no children yet am for it, anyone is entitled to an opinion on a matter irrespective of experience or training.

Even thoses with years of experience of dealing with children have the wrong opinion on how to care for said children

(Warning, may be disturbing for some)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7370897.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/w...re/7439666.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/eur...ey/7421428.stm

[MystyGlyttyr]

I'm for it. I NEEDED it when I was little. Why? Because by the age of FIVE, I was already stealing, attacking people, and committing arson. I was a mean, vicious little child, and I needed to be "trained" rather than taught. Teaching just didn't work for some reason, I guess I just didn't have any reason to respect my parents by then. Physical pain was the only thing that got through. I probably wasn't a typical case, though, as most things about me are...not typical.

Later on, though, my parents stopped spanking and went to lecturing and guilt trips that made me wish they'd just hit me and get it over with. LOL

So far as my nieces and nephew, I don't know. Haven't thought that far ahead yet. I hope I don't have to figure it out, but I'm sure the situation will come up sooner or later...

[Zyanya]

I also have no children yet am for it, anyone is entitled to an opinion on a matter irrespective of experience or training.

Even thoses with years of experience of dealing with children have the wrong opinion on how to care for said children

(Warning, may be disturbing for some)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7370897.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/w...re/7439666.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/eur...ey/7421428.stm

Okay, would those opposed to spanking PLEASE learn the difference between a spanking and a beating? These kinds of conversations would go so much smoother that way. Not a single solitary soul here is justifying beating your kids.

You are entitled to your opinion. However, an opinion with no experience in the matter isn't worth very much.

[AFPheonix]

Well then. Anyone who posts political opinions without actually having spent time in Congress or Parlaiment doesn't have a worthwhile opinion.

Anyone who has an opinion on the war without working in the military or in the Pentagon doesn't have a worthwhile opinion.

Anyone who has an opinion on gun control who doesn't own a gun doesn't have a worthwhile opinion.

Anyone who has an opinion on abortion without a functional uterus doesn't have a worthwhile opinion, according to you.

They're allowed their opinion, especially since at one point WE WERE ALL CHILDREN OURSELVES and experienced discipline of some sort. Yay for free speech and all.

[Greenday]

Anyone who has an opinion on the war without working in the military or in the Pentagon doesn't have a worthwhile opinion.

Woohoo! I win! My military opinions are valid! Mwahahahaha!

Seriously though, you don't have to have any experience with spanking to have a valid opinion on it.

[crazylegs]

Okay, would those opposed to spanking PLEASE learn the difference between a spanking and a beating?

I am *for* spanking, yet have no children...

What I am trying to say is that your opinion is valid regardless of whether or not you have children

I have an opinion on abortion yet cannot bear children

I have an opinion on the use of the rainforests yet have never been there

I have an opinion on smoking yet I do not so

I have an opinion on drugs yet I do not partake in them.

Do my opinions in those areas not count for those reasons?

[Dreamstalker]

I'm for spanking, if done properly and not as a catchall solution. I was swatted a couple times as a pup...I was an odd child and sometimes talking didn't work or I would quickly find the loopholes in almost any directive. I was never spanked in public (The Look was a very effective substitute).

Both of my grandfathers were ex-military, so possibly just the thought of what could hypothetically (but never did) happen was a great deterrent. Yes, I would sometimes smart off to my maternal grandfather, but he knew I was just playing around.

Some kids, talking doesn't work and you need to do something that the kid will get through their skull.

[powerboy]

I have no children, that I am aware off. But I am for it. If the child acts up, then they should get a spanking. I was spanked once by one of my grandparents. And you know what, I learned my lesson. I was a good son and so is my brother.

I believe that it should be a few swats on the fannie. and also it depends on what the child did. Now if the child asked a question and the child got a beat down for it. Then yeah, that would be abuse.

[CancelMyService]

I've seen firsthand the difference between spanking/disciplining a child and not. A certain member of my family has two kids, the older kid was disciplined by his father, and the younger was not due to his parents getting a divorce. The older kid has a wife and three kids, and a successful career while the younger kid still lives at home (he's 25 now), has no job, and has no motivation to get a job since mommy still babies him.

I know it's not scientific research, but having known both guys for over 10 years it's very clear that the younger son is the way he is because his mother never put any discipline into him.

My wife works in a shelter for teenage boys and pretty much all the kids there (except the ones who have mental issues) are there because there was no discipline at home. These are the so called "bad kids" and she's said more than once that all these kids needed was a smack on the ass when they were younger and they probably wouldn't be at her shelter now.

Also, lack of discipline is the main cause people behave in that lovely SC manner we all come to know and love. How many times have you been in public and heard kids talking back to their parents in tones that would have got us smacked by our parents? Or just seen kids out of control in general to the point where you wonder what's wrong with the parents? Lack of discipline leads to the "my widdle pwecious" syndrome where kids are led to believe they can do no wrong, which leads to obnoxious jerk adults that we end up having to face at CS jobs.