Indiana Mom Sends Son To School With A Stun Gun

[tropicsgoddess]

This 17 year old boy's mother sent him to school with a stun gun to defend himself against bullies. Only to be expelled for it. The mother said that she's tried everything she could to help him with defending against bullies. To top that the school's administration apparently didn't do enough to stop the bullying. The teen was cornered by a group of bullies that were getting ready to beat him up and all he did was raise his stun gun in the air as a warning and they scurried. Yet he still was expelled for it.

School policies usually prohibit weapons being bought in the school and expel students that do right away. I can understand safety precautions for that policy, but what about a teen that was defending himself from bullies? Especially since the administration hasn't done enough to solve this problem?

Link!

[bex1218]

Too bad self defense classes aren't cheap. Your body can be used as a weapon. That, at the worst case scenerio (or it should be), would lead to suspension (I wish it didn't if you were trying to defend yourself). Schools need to start taking bullying seriously.

I never defended myself, made my parents mad I didn't. I was always afraid to. But it never made my parents get to a point where they made me bring a weapon.

[Greenday]

I'm not sure what the problem is. There's no excuse for bringing a weapon to school. Is this supposed to be a bad parenting thread?

[DrFaroohk]

I was never allowed to defend myself. Even in a fight that was 100% not my fault, I was still bigger than them. Dammit DrFaroohk, you have a responsibility to protect people!

[Andara Bledin]

The problem is that the school was useless in protecting her child.

Her only mistake was in not going straight to suing them for failing to provide a safe learning environment.

^-.-^

[Nekojin]

Dammit DrFaroohk, you have a responsibility to protect people!

I know you meant this sarcastically, but you do. Everyone does. I've known since the last fight that I was in during high school that I'm pretty powerful (although I don't look it), and if it comes to a real fight, I could really hurt someone. It doesn't matter if I think the person deserves an ass-beating - I'm not the one to administer it. You see, I have a tremendously long fuse, but when it burns out, I literally berserk. I don't remember most of that last fight... but whatever I did was enough to scare ALL of the school bullies away from fucking with me for the rest of High School. I snapped, I hurt one of my tormentors, and I wasn't mature enough to care how badly I hurt him.

[KnitShoni]

I know you meant this sarcastically, but you do. Everyone does. I've known since the last fight that I was in during high school that I'm pretty powerful (although I don't look it), and if it comes to a real fight, I could really hurt someone. It doesn't matter if I think the person deserves an ass-beating - I'm not the one to administer it. You see, I have a tremendously long fuse, but when it burns out, I literally berserk. I don't remember most of that last fight... but whatever I did was enough to scare ALL of the school bullies away from fucking with me for the rest of High School. I snapped, I hurt one of my tormentors, and I wasn't mature enough to care how badly I hurt him.

Wouldn't the first person you're responsible for protecting be yourself, though?

[KnitShoni]

The problem is that the school was useless in protecting her child.

Her only mistake was in not going straight to suing them for failing to provide a safe learning environment.

^-.-^

I agree. All she did in this case was damage her son's record, and the problem still won't get fixed.

[Nekojin]

Wouldn't the first person you're responsible for protecting be yourself, though?

Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't mean that you don't have a responsibility to refrain from hurting others.

Just to be clear: I absolutely have sympathy for the kid in the OP situation. He was in a no-win situation, crafted by his school, his classmates, and his mother. I applaud the fact that he brandished the stun gun, and didn't use it. I think it's deplorable that it got to that situation in the first place, and the school should absolutely be responsible for failing to prevent the bullying that led to that situation.

[KnitShoni]

Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't mean that you don't have a responsibility to refrain from hurting others.

The problem arises when you are put in a situation where you are unable to exercise that responsibility. If you can't hurt the person hurting you, and you can't get away from them, what then?

[Nekojin]

The problem arises when you are put in a situation where you are unable to exercise that responsibility. If you can't hurt the person hurting you, and you can't get away from them, what then?

As I alluded earlier, I was bullied in high school. I was suspended four or five times in high school for "fighting," with two of those being when I wasn't fighting back (read: I turtled, and they rained punches on my back). I do understand what DrFaroohk is saying when he says he, "wasn't allowed to fight back" (although I think that's a rather melodramatic way to phrase it).

Escape the situation if you can. If you can't, use as little force as possible to change the situation so that you can escape.

And the problem here, as when I was a kid, is that schools don't do a damn thing about bullying until it's too late, and often lump both the bully and victim into the same category for, "fighting." It's deplorable, but it's changing. Slowly. Far too slowly. But it is changing.

[crashhelmet]

Too bad self defense classes aren't cheap. Your body can be used as a weapon. That, at the worst case scenerio (or it should be), would lead to suspension (I wish it didn't if you were trying to defend yourself). Schools need to start taking bullying seriously.

I never defended myself, made my parents mad I didn't. I was always afraid to. But it never made my parents get to a point where they made me bring a weapon.

The problem with defending yourself is that most schools have a zero tolerance policy for fighting. Defending yourself can and will get you expelled.

Bringing a weapon to school, even a less-lethal weapon like a stun gun, can get you not only expelled, but arrested as well.

[kamn]

The problem with defending yourself is that most schools have a zero tolerance policy for fighting. Defending yourself can and will get you expelled.

Bringing a weapon to school, even a less-lethal weapon like a stun gun, can get you not only expelled, but arrested as well.

Yet (sadly) bullies can beat you into the hospital, and all they need to do is face the corner for half an hour...

[HYHYBT]

So what *do* you do when the school does nothing but lie and avoid when you do things the right way?

[Nekojin]

So what *do* you do when the school does nothing but lie and avoid when you do things the right way?

Depends on which "you" you're referring to, and the resources at your disposal.

As the parent, move. If you can't move to a different district, at least try to get your kid transferred to a different school in the district.

If it's within your means, try to raise the issue with your school district council. If there isn't any such council or they won't listen to you, go over their heads to the state Governor. Try to get a News station interested in the story. Make the problem as public as possible, because that's the last thing that the administration wants.

If all else fails, sue. Sue the school, sue the district, sue the county, sue the state, all at once. It's the American way!

As the student, your options are limited based on what your parents are willing and/or able to do. If they can't change the situation, or move you out of the situation, then the only things you can responsibly do are avoid, evade, and endure, and take some measure of solace that, short of a Columbine-level event, school fatalities due to bullying are very rare.

If the bullying is extreme enough, refuse to go to school, and explain to your parents why you're refusing. If your parents are at all reasonable, they may reevaluate the above-listed options on your behalf.