Stop "Glorifying" Single Mothers

[guywithashovel]

http://rightwingnews.com/john-hawkin...ingle-mothers/

Evidently, we're "glorifying" single mothers too much.

The author even says that single parents should live with some shame.

Of course, it's sprinkled with a hint of "Oh, but I love single mothers and want to help them."

[telecom_goddess]

Oh my god....I don't agree with this guy at all. First off he's against abortion but still thinks that women who keep their babies are "leeches". And he talks about how bad it is to "get pregnant out of wedlock" and how "illegitimacy" is exploding. Any child born to a single person is not stamped illegitimate anymore, so lose that archaic term. No one knows the circumstances of your birth unless you tell them, you don't wear a scarlet "I" on your forehead.

Geeeeze some people.

[bex1218]

So, maybe instead of doing everything we can to make single motherhood easier, we should focus on doing a lot more to discourage single motherhood.

Wait what? Sometimes the women can't help but be single. Either the spouse dies, the spouse turns out to be abusive, or really, the relationship just doesn't work out. I'll have to look on this further later and comment.

[Rageaholic]

Of course, it's sprinkled with a hint of "Oh, but I love single mothers and want to help them."

That's very typical on that side of the spectrum. They think they're helping people by discriminating against them (love the sinner hate the sin). He even has the balls to compare it to saving a drowning man in a river. In the same vein, he advocates slut shaming. And I love how he gets on his martyr soapbox, anticipating the hate, but acting like he's some brave hero for daring to speak the "truth".

Typical right wing bullshit. He makes *some* good points, but his problem lies with his "solution".

[Amanita]

This guy sounds like a huge hypocrite. I can understand not wanting to sugar-coat single or teen parenthood- the reality is that it's HARD, especially when you have little support. But there's a difference between that and shaming like what used to happen in the days of "Unwed Mother's homes".

There's no way I would want to see a return of the unwed mother's homes. Abuses were rampant in those days- babies sold or stolen, girls abused by the doctors, nuns, and other staff, who truly believed that the girls deserved it, for their "sins".

But I don't think the other extreme- portraying single (especially teen) parenthood as fun or glamorous is a good idea either.

Edit- I'm referring mainly to mothers who are single from the get-go, not those whose spouse dies or walks out, or those who have to leave due to abuse or other relationship problems.

[Nekojin]

Quite a contrast from 50 or so years ago, when one of the worst things you could be called (as a woman) was, "old maid."

Edit: And thinking about it, it pretty much comes from the same sentiment - you're worthless as a woman unless you've got a man in your life.

[bara]

Ill agree that anything that portrays single parenthood as some fashionable thing to do is crap.
Show it for what it is, a lot of hard work for 18 years. Dont misunderstand, Im sure parenthood can be awesome, but it shouldnt be portrayed as glamorous. Although outside a few select TV shows and talking heads (generally extreme feminists) I dont hear anyone saying it is glamorous.

I dont mind a single parent getting public assistance as long as they are trying their best. In fact, Im happy that some of my tax dollars go for that as its necessary.

What I dont like is hearing about mommy or daddy or both making lots more babies they cant afford.

[fireheart17]

*stabbity*

A friend of mine is a single mother, after her partner turned out to be abusive following the birth of her first child. He was fine, treated her kindly before and during the pregnancy, but once the baby girl was around 18 months, he started abusing my friend.
That same friend also has baby no. 2 on the way (unplanned, same guy). She couldn't abort the child and contemplated adoption for a while, but is going to keep bubs. She's lucky to have a good support network around her, of not only HER parents, but also her friends and even strangely enough, her ex-partner's mother.
She constantly points out how hard it is and will occasionally ask for tips on Facebook (as do a lot of my friends with babies).

People like him are making me stabbity.

[anakhouri]

Apparently when this guy's parents gave him "the Talk" they neglected to mention that it takes TWO people to make a baby,

[Seifer]

"They may hear, “Don’t get pregnant” in school or church, but Hollywood promotes promiscuity at every turn, talks about single mothers like they’re saints, and our government financially rewards people for having children out of wedlock."

1. "Don't get pregnant" isn't going to do jack shit for teens or people (both men and women) who are too stupid to understand how contraceptives work. Now, if schools and churches actually taught people about birth control and how to go about getting it/using it, the younger generation would be better informed and could possibly prevent more unwanted pregnancies. However, I doubt the man in the article wants sex education in schools. He probably thinks that telling teens "Don't get pregnant" should be enough. (For some reason these blowhards can't think back to their own teens and twenties and remember how much peer pressure there was to have sex. It's not like peer pressure is a new thing.)

2. What Hollywood movie talks about single mother's like they're saints? The only movies I can think of that had single mothers in them dealt with the single mother trying to find a new husband.

Yes, Hollywood might show promiscuity in an acceptable light, but remember: promiscuity isn't a problem if you know about contraceptives and protection. This just leads me back to my first point - TEACH KIDS ABOUT CONTRACEPTIVES. They're going to have sex anyway, at least prepare them for it so they know how to protect themselves.

3. The government isn't "financially rewarding" single mothers - they're making sure the mother and her child have food, water, clothing, and a place to live. It's not like the government is sending single mother's giant checks worth thousands of dollars - usually, government aid isn't very much. Just ask anyone who gets food stamps - it can be hard to figure out how you're going to live off what you're given.

[bex1218]

Yes stop glorifying it. But don't stop everything else and make us go back to the early 1900's. I was raised by my mom, but was (semi) lucky enough to have my dad in my life. Along with other figures out there. I think as long as the child is cared for and has role models to look up to in their lives, there is no need to force someone into a relationship if not needed.

[tropicsgoddess]

The writer of the article is very contradictory on his opinion of single parents. I was raised by both of my parents while SO was raised by a single mother (they divorced when SO was little). We both came out good. It shouldn't matter if the child has a single parent or not, but how good their parents raised them.

[bex1218]

I wonder how many kids in those statistics the author showed were from abused homes or parents who just didn't care. And how many of those kids were bullied.

[Rapscallion]

I don't really see anyone glorifying it, but I see people demonising the single-mother situation. I've yet to read the article in question (away from home right now), but that's usually my impression.

Rapscallion

[MadMike]

The author even says that single parents should live with some shame.

Wow. It's nice to know that I should be ashamed because my son's "mother" turned out to be a raging "See You Next Tuesday."