Bride says no

[nekoro]

This was brought up on another forum that I frequent. (etiquettehell.com for any who are interested) I wondered what the opinions are here.

http://apnews.excite.com/article/200...D8MF64PG0.html

The gist of the story: At a non-religous wedding ceremony, the bride says "no" when asked if she was willing to marry her husband-to-be. The officiant promptly breaks off the wedding.

Do you think that the official overreacted? Or was he right to do this?

Do you think that this was a case of nerves on the bride's part, or a joke in very poor taste?

[Rapscallion]

She said that as a joke? Heh - then she wonders why it was taken seriously?

I'm all for jokes, but quips about bombs in airports are not funny. I'd not put this on the same level, but I'd break it off it I were the official. It's supposed to be a commitment for a lifetime.

Rapscallion

[Primer]

I think the ceremony should have been interrupted, and the woman taken back for a private chat with the officiator. Then, if she could convince the officiator that she really wanted to go through with it, they should have been allowed to continue the ceremony. I don't think the couple (and everybody else) should have been forced to wait another 2.5 months.

[rahmota]

yeah i gotta agree a nice quick private chat where she could explain just exactly what was going through her head would be more appropriate. But you know how beurecrats like their hoops to jump through and they may have had a schedule to stick to. I know when my wife and I had our ceremony at the courthouse we where last on the docket before the judge so we had a short window to work within (we had a civil ceremony in the courthouse) before the court recessed for the day.

[Banrion]

There really aren't enough details, but maybe the time she has to wait now will teach her a lesson. Especially since this was not a religious ceremony, this was a legally binding contract between these two people and the state. Your vows are not something to be joking around with.

[Luna]

If it was a joke - it was a very poor one. It sucks for everyone else that had to wait, but I think it drove the point home for her. I vote "good job" for the official who put a stop to it and made them reschedule.

[ArenaBoy]

Of all things to do at a wedding a thing like this is obviously not one of them. Marriage represents a connection in so many ways and that little bit the bride pulled pretty much made not only her husband wary of her, but her family along with the groom's is going to look at the bride very differently for the rest of her life. Good call for the official to stop it. Good riddance to the idiot bride.

[Puckishone]

Okay, I am as irreverent as the next person (possibly moreso), but I have to go with the general flow here and say that this was quite the poorly-timed attempt at humor on the bride's part. Legally speaking, the officiant is probably required to stop at that point unless the answer is "yes," lest someone come back later and threaten a lawsuit ("He married me against my wishes!" or some such thing). I do agree with stopping the ceremony, and as far as responding to the bride publicly, say this: If she was concerned about privacy or dignity or any of that she wouldn't have blurted out what she did when she did. A bombshell in a public forum requires a public cleanup, generally speaking.

Pre-wedding doubts and nerves are completely normal, but if you're feeling the need to vent them, say, at the moment the "I dos" come around in the ceremony, you may need to take a step back and re-examine.

[HYHYBT]

Regardless of how serious (or not) your wedding is overall, there are certain points you just don't joke during. As a guest, when the official says "speak now or forever hold your piece," you don't jump up and say They can't get married, they're brother and sister!" (unless it's true, I suppose... ) and as the bride or groom you don't play around when it's time to say "I do!"