Disruptive Behavior By Autistic Children

[tropicsgoddess]

These days there's quite a bit of debate and headlines revolving around autistic children being kicked out or banned from public places due to their behavior. It may be annoying and disruptive to see and hear children scream, run around and the like when the parents watch and don't do a thing about it, but for autistic children and their parents, it's a different story.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features...6.story?page=1

[Dreamstalker]

Eek...this is a tough one to take any sides on. I'll try to make sense *_*

I do agree in a way that autism seems to be overdiagnosed, which does make it much harder for children with an actual medical diagnosis as some parents see that as a convenient label when they don't want to actually discipline. (note: I'm not talking about the 1-in-150 figure of actual occurrence, but rather a sight-unseen diagnosis that involves comparing signs to a list on the net).

Yes, the public should be sympathetic, but that does not mean 'ZOMG lawsuit" should be trotted out every time a misbehaving child is not catered to and asked to leave. Parents of children on the autistic spectrum have a duty (dare I say "obligation") to know what their children can and can't handle, and if possible to let others know of the condition if they think it will end up being disruptive or just not take the child to that venue (church, theater, etc) unless they are able to behave.

[Sylvia727]

I honestly can't find fault with a public institution banning a disruptive individual. The behavior exhibited by these autistic people went above and beyond minor inconvenience, and some cases it went on after warnings to cease. The fact that these troubled individuals have a medical condition is no excuse for them to bother others. It is the responsibility of their guardians to monitor what they can handle and how well they are responding to the situation. Yes, autistic people need socialization, but not at others' expense.

When a baby cries in a movie theater, do we blame the infant or the parents? The public could stand to be more considerate, of course, but it's not the responsibility of a stranger to put up with severely disruptive behavior like screaming or licking all the Oreos. It's the obligation of the guardians to help them become socialized in doses they can handle.

[IDrinkaRum]

When Autism is brought up, I always take the parents' view. Why? I'm a parent of an Autistic child myself. Now, I will be the first to admit that not all parents of Autistic children are the best at controlling their children. However, are all parents of normally developing children any better?

Certain things do set my daughter off, and my husband & I try to accommodate her. We've realized if we want to do a large grocery run, and we have to bring her with us, we do it very late at night. (Thank goodness the local Harris Teeter grocery store is open 24 hours 'cos 11:30/12 Midnight is the perfect time for us to take her grocery shopping). Large groups of people that she doesn't know makes her grab me and try to hide under my clothing. Large noises hurt her ears and she covers her ears and tells me it's "too loud".

I have also banished her from the Wegmans' (another local grocery store) rest rooms because there are 3 sinks with a different colored soap in a bottle at each and because she has a choice, she wants all 3 and I'd be in the rest room all day. Not going to happen.

I haven't taken my daughter to church since she was baptized. I might do so someday as I want her to have her first communion, her first confession & her confirmation. But not now. I'd have to find a church I like and a Priest I trust. (The one I do is at a church about 1 hour drive away).

And please, trust me when I say: No amount of "controlling" a child, especially one with autism can help you keep abreast of your child. For everyday, or every other day, or every week, month, or once a year, you might find a new trigger that will set your child off.

[the_std]

IDaR, it must be difficult having an autistic child, but already it seems that you're better about keeping your daughter in control in public than some I've encountered, and some mentioned in this article. For the triggers you do know, you do your best to keep your daughter away from them, and that makes a lot of difference.

But I think a big part of this debate is the fact that the public isn't required to make special concessions for anyone, and this includes autistic individuals. A lot of people will, and a lot of people are understanding of the hardships that an autistic person faces, but that doesn't mean that they have to sit by and take interruptions and unpleasant situations with a smile on their face. For example, if the congregation of that church felt unsafe because of the autistic teenager running amok and causing disturbances, then the church should work with the guardians of that teenager to come up with a solution. They tried and an understanding could not be reached, so the church was forced to decide for the majority and ban the teenager. It's unfortunate that it couldn't be resolved another way, but the entire church does not have to be changed to suit one individual.

The guardians might be doing their absolute best to control or help their charge feel more in control, but if other people do not feel safe because of the autistic individual's actions, then steps have to be taken. One of the steps should be to spread information about autism and try to get more people to learn and have an understanding of it. People who understand more about that condition will be less afraid and more tolerant of it. And banning seems to be an extreme measure, not undertaken in the majority of situations.

I do feel sorry for the people that have been banned, and for their guardians, but maybe these cases coming forward will shed more of the public light on autism and help people to understand it and therefore not have to resort to banning.

[DesignFox]

You know what? Sometimes life just isn't fair.

I think that it is very important for us as a society to understand one another and work together to help each other. But frankly, SOMETIMES life just fucking sucks.

In the case of the church banning, I'm sorry. The church was 100% in the right. Adam was over 6 ft tall, 225 lbs and OUT OF CONTROL. A "normal" adult/teenager that exhibited that sort of behavior would be out on his ass and arrested in no time flat. The church only banned him from the premises after trying to work with the parents to come up with a compromise. I think these parents are extremely selfish to subject an entire congregation to a situation which they find uncomfortable at best, and DANGEROUS at worst.

I think people need to stop this special snowflake bullshit and just accept that sometimes, life ain't fair. As a parent, it is your responsbility to know your child's limits and work within them. Sometimes, something new will crop up- but then it is your responsibility to deal with it.

IDaR- it sounds like you are doing these things. You and many other parents DO work within your child's boundaries. You DO think not just of your child's needs, but also the needs of those around you.

Not for nothing, but disabled or NOT isn't that what we should ALL be doing for one another?

Sometimes, it isn't fair, but you have to do what is best for the majority.

[Lace Neil Singer]

As in the case of the autistic child and his mother removed from a plane, the majority must take precident over the minority. If everyone else is behaving themselves and possibly could be put in danger by the presence of one person, then it's hardly fair to force the many to fit around the one disruptive child, autistic or not. If your autistic child, and by that I mean diagnosed by a doctor, not by Mommy Dearest, can not deal with certain situations and places, then you don't force them to do so just for your benefit. Part of being a mother of any child is to fit your life around your child, not the other way round. Seems like IDaR is already doing that; and I commend her.

As some people here already know, I have Aspergers; it was recently diagnosed, but when I was a kid, it wasn't really known of. My parents still understood my limitations and never tried to force me into situations. One thing I still have problems with is personal space. I feel a bit panicky on crowded buses and trains. What I do to deal with that is sit by a window, and read a book, while plugged into my Discman. Yes, Discman. No-one's ever going to try and steal that. XD

I don't expect, however, that the bus driver should chuck out every other person on the bus to accomodate my personal space issues. That to me is what some of these parents think other people should do; bend over backwards to accomadate their child's special needs, when they are causing a disruption.

[Flyndaran]

What is with so many people with Aspergers also having social phobia?
I have an anxiety disorder and crippling social phobia. I almost feel lonely not having the big "A" as well.
Though my mom still thinks I have it.

[Dreamstalker]

You know what? Sometimes life just isn't fair.

I think people need to stop this special snowflake bullshit and just accept that sometimes, life ain't fair. As a parent, it is your responsbility to know your child's limits and work within them.

Parents of autistic/otherwise disabled children have even more responsibility than the "average" parent. They have no right whatsoever to expect everyone else to do their parenting for them (that includes putting up with a special snowflake that is endangering themselves or anyone else).

If I acted out, mom/grandpa absolutely followed through with threats of removal. Maybe I was more observant/had better long-term thinking abilities than the average autistic-spectrum pup, but I somehow knew even at the age of 5 that if I continued, I wouldn't get something I wanted (be it a Nintendo rental, visit to a rock shop, trip to the library, etc).