Need a clever title for this..

[Mytical]

cause I couldn't think of one. While talking to a friend of mine I made a comment "I think I am broken." Not my body (though that is), however. Also..I don't really think I am broken, but I do think a lot differently then most people think I should.

What we were talking about was attractiveness. I want to go on record that I am a straight male. I think women are absolutely beautiful. However, when I tell a woman she is attractive/beautiful..I don't mean "I want to get into your pants." type beautiful, I mean exactly what I say. Which brought my friend to say "That sounds like it would come from a female more then a male." When brought my joking reply "I think I am broken."

Things like porn, nude photos, etc do nothing for me. My cousin took me to a strip club one time, and I almost fell asleep. That is the last time I will go, except as a designated driver (say for a bachelor party). I find women beautiful..Amy Lee (from Evanescence, Mila Jovovich (dang she is sexy), etc..but I am a lot more asexual then anything. (I know I am rambling, you all should expect that from me by now).

Give me intimacy over a one night stand, and I have to get to know somebody really well before I will even think of having sex with them. So, the question is .. am I broken? Or what?

[bara]

No, you seem to be more interested in finding a long term relationship rather than immediate gratification. Nothing wrong with that at all.
Speaking from experience, I feel that sex without any emotion is about the same as masturbation.

I like to tell pretty girls they are pretty but often don't because I'm worried I will get accused of sexual harassment or something else equally stupid.

[TheHuckster]

On a certain level, I understand your preference of intimacy over one-night stands. Throughout my life I've always thought about finding a soulmate rather than just getting laid. That said, however, I consider myself a sexual person who has been tempted to just get laid with a random girl from time to time.

To me, when finding love, sex is just one awesome thing among many other awesome things in a relationship. A romantic relationship is all about mutual sharing, and that includes not only the most intimate sharing, but also sharing jokes, favorite TV shows, gossip, fun roadtrips. If I only enjoy sex with a partner, but nothing else, I'd feel about as empty as I would the inverse: a relationship where we enjoy everything together except the sex.

So, no, I don't think you're broken. If/when you find romance which eventually leads to sex, I do hope you find what all the hype is about, though. The only thing I suggest is when you go the route of waiting to know someone before sex, there is a risk of getting extremely heartbroken if it breaks apart. I'll quote from The 40-Year-Old Virgin and say, "don't put the pussy on a very high pedestal."

[Nekojin]

Things like porn, nude photos, etc do nothing for me.

Translation: I don't have the (extremely common) fetish* for voyeurism. Nothing wrong with that.

My cousin took me to a strip club one time, and I almost fell asleep.

Strip clubs have an even narrower appeal than straight-up porn. I visited Olympic Garden in Vegas once, and I was bored silly. I've only occasionally had the urge to try a strip club again, but never bothered. Just as the men in a strip club view the dancers as sex objects, the dancers view the men as walking wallets. The entire purpose of the business is objectification, and it goes both ways.

Give me intimacy over a one night stand, and I have to get to know somebody really well before I will even think of having sex with them. So, the question is .. am I broken? Or what?

Is it "broken" to treat someone as a person first, and a sex symbol much later? I don't see it. While I can be quite the perv at times (ask Andara), I don't view women I meet as potential conquests, or even potential sex partners, unless and until they show some potential interest in me. Andara goes out of her way to point out women who are, shall we say, "pleasantly packaged," because I generally don't notice it.

In adult material? Yeah, I'm all over the sexy factor. In real life? Sorry, no - I've got my mind on talking with the person in front of me, not whether she'll let me play with her goods.

* Yes, yes, I know, "fetish" as a clinical term means something very specific, but we're not talking in the clinical sense, are we?

[Andara Bledin]

I don't think you're broken: I'm of the opinion that most people don't actually think the way they think they think, but do so as a form of protective camouflage to make them blend in with how they think everybody else expects them to think, and because they've been raised to believe that that's how everybody really does think so they pretend that they think like that so that they don't think that they're broken or otherwise not normal.

My boyfriend and I are notably not asexual, but neither of us is really into anything found in a typical skin mag, and are also bored by what goes on in strip clubs. *looks up* Oh, hi there, boyfriend.

Everybody has different tastes from one extreme to the other, and I'm of the opinion that the populous is scattered pretty much evenly across the whole spectrum and any tendency to clump in the center areas is more a matter of expectation and bias and fear of standing out than honest interest.

I'm of the opinion that the word "normal" has no real use in society and is often only good for repressing people's individuality.

^-.-^

[Duelist925]

You're only "Broken" in the sense of "not conforming to standard male steryotypes which don't actually affect as many men as sitcoms would have you believe"

You want intimacy before anything else. Nothing wrong with that--just means you place a higher value on a longer term mental and emotional gratification over the shorter term physical. ^_^

In short: You're about as broken as...something...not...broken. Um. I had an analogy, and then I lost it, so....yeah.

[Hyena Dandy]

You're not broken because you're not the stereotypical man. You're just not the stereotypical man. There's nothing wrong with being uninterested in porn. Or with being sincere, or not wanting quick and meaningless sex.

No more than there's anything wrong with liking the color pink, or being a pacifist, or a vegetarian. You're not the stereotypical man... But that doesn't make you bad.

[Duelist925]

No more than there's anything wrong with liking the color pink, or being a pacifist, or a vegetarian.

Or enjoying a show about skittleponies.

[SkullKing]

You are not broken.

Though some people may think otherwise, there is nothing wrong with what you said, enjoy being yourself

[Mytical]

Don't know about skittleponies..but I like My Little Ponies : Friendship is magic . Just seems all my life I've been told that there is something wrong with a guy if he is not talking about cars, chasing women, and talking about the women he 'caught'. My collection of Unicorns is thought of as 'strange', the fact that I enjoy tactile things like running my hands over silk or touching flowers..or the like the same. That I can just stair at the ocean for hours and feel .. peace. All in all around here, I've been considered a very odd person.

To the point where, because I've not had a string of conquests, half my family thought I was gay. Sorry, guys just do absolutely nothing for me (no offense guys). I've often been confused as a female on forums (ok so sometimes I do not take the time to correct that ). I think I've found that special somebody (Marmalady), however..and am extremely happy..though I wish it was not such a long distance thing. I'm not a robot, I don't fit a mold.

[Rapscallion]

If you're broken then I am. I can see a woman bend over and think, "Nice,", and that's it. It's a mental disconnect for me between finding someone appealing and wanting to go any further. Quite frankly, I've been happy to leave romance to people who know what they're doing. If I find either of them, I'll let you know.

It's not like mates haven't tried to persuade me towards romantic endeavours and further. One dragged me around three brothels in three nights, and I didn't really feel any temptation. I also didn't inhale, for those wondering. I don't have any moral scruples saying prostitution or casual sex is wrong, I just don't see why I should be involved.

It's who and what I am. I may be unusual, but I'm me.

Rapscallion

[Jester]

I am a man who enjoys porn, loves sex with women, has enjoyed a decent amount of one night stands, loves action movies, is a football fanatic, loves sports in general, swills beer, and loves my cars. In other words, what many would call a stereotypical American guy.

And as such, I will say without question that you are NOT broken.

You are different than the stereotypical American guy, sure. So what? Here's another example of a guy who's different from that stereotype: he is straight but can still dress very well, he loves cooking and cooks very well, he doesn't find the Three Stooges all that funny, he doesn't see the point in fake tits, he doesn't think Julia Roberts was ever all that hot, he can't for the life of him fix anything that breaks on his vehicles, and he finds microwaved food and fast food revolting. Definitely not the typical American dude, right?

Well, guess what? That guys is the exact same guy as the one described in the first paragraph: me.

So you don't fulfill all the expectations society has of you as a straight guy? So the fuck what? Does it make you broken that you prefer intimacy to meaningless physical intercourse? That you don't enjoy the blatant sexual capitalism that typifies most strip clubs? That you can appreciate a woman's beauty without wanting to bang her? Big whoop.

Society may think you weird. They may think you odd. They may even think that you are, in fact, broken. To which I say, quite simply:

Fuck 'em.

You stay true to yourself, and don't ever, EVER let anyone tell you you are broken. Including yourself. There's a reason round pegs don't fit into square holes: they were never designed to do so. So stop trying to fit something into that which it was never designed for. And stop worrying about it.

You're not broken. Society may be, but you're certainly not.

So again: fuck 'em.

[Kaylyn]

Definitely not broken.

Google "demisexual" and you might identify with a LOT of what you find out.

[Rageaholic]

I hear you on the porn thing. I've seen it before and all I could think was "this isn't sexy at all!". If anything, I find it revolting and degrading )and I'm not even religious!). I don't think I'm asexual or gay, I just get turned on by different things.

Now erotic literature can sometimes be engaging, but for the most part, it's a rich source of narm.

[Lyse]

You are *not* broken. There is absolutely nothing wrong about knowing what does, and doesn't, do anything for you. Nor does preferring one meaningful encounter/relationship over a dozen empty ones.

Everyone has different standards on what makes them happy. The only thing *wrong* is imposing your standards on others.