Cyber Bullying Must End.

[Rageaholic]

And I don't have to go far down on the comments to get my daily dose of RAGE!!!

I am sorry this young woman was not equipped with the brains to understand that showing your body naked on cam is a really stupid thing. Is she victim or a volunteer? I say she's a volunteer and through her one stupid mistake she brought on to herself too much wrath for her to handle. It's important to raise your kids with strong moral values so that they do not make this very serious first mistake.

Without fail, there is always some self righteous asshole who thinks it's the victims fault.

Of course that's just one asshole who made a comment online. At least he didn't take the time to follow her around and send death threats to her. To those people, I can think of two tropes that describe them perfectly.

[Panacea]

We shouldn't expect teachers, on their own, to stop it.

As often as not, their hands are tied in what they can do.

That's only true some of the time. The worst beating I ever took in school, happened in the class room in front of the teacher. He ignored it because the bully was one of his "special" kids that he made a point of to "save" every year. They were allowed to get away with bloody murder.

I was beaten so badly, I had to lie on a couch in the principals office for the rest of the day (as in, most of it). The principal refused to allow the secretary to call my mother, or an ambulance even though I was semi conscious most of the day. I had to be helped onto the bus, and helped off of it into the house by the bus driver. Who, of course was clueless as to what happened when my distraught mother asked. I wasn't much help; I actually only found out what happened later because the real story did get to the principals office when I couldn't get up to go to my next class after the fight.

Mom took me to the doctor, who said I had a concussion. I was getting better by then, so he decided against a CT of the head (new technology then, and very expensive) and just had my parents watch me carefully for 24 hours.

The secretary burst into tears when Mom called to confront her, saying the principal had threatened her job if she called Mom.

The next day, Dad went into principal's office, slammed him into a wall and told him the next time I came home with bruises, the principal would have a set to match. That got me moved out of the bully's class, but didn't end the bullying.

That didn't stop until I got into two separate fist fights the following year--I started fighting back. The word out out that Panacea wasn't a carpet anymore, and the worst of it stopped. I don't know what would have happened if the Internet had existed then, however. Because other, non-violent, forms of bullying continued until my senior year.

I was told to ignore the bullies by my teachers and my mother. My father told me to strike back. My father was right.

You're damned right your father was right. My dad was the same way. When I finally did fight back (in high school, my previous story was middle school), the vice principal tried to suspend me for fighting (the school had a suspend everyone rule), even though I didn't start the fight or throw the first punch. Dad refused to allow it. "I've been trying to get Panacea to fight back her whole life, and now that's she's finally done it, you are not going to punish her for it!"

The vice wasn't a bad guy. I rather liked him. The suspension when on the books, but I didn't miss school, that was the compromise.

What we often forget when these discussions come up is that children are not adults, and they are learning how to socialize. Quite often, childhood bullies and tormentors grow up to be really good people, sometimes because they grow out of the bullying, sometimes because they acquire more confidence and no longer feel like they need to push people around to hide their uncertainty, sometimes because they are shown through actions or words that their bullying is bullshit.

While I would like to think this is true, Jester, I really don't think so. One of my childhood tormentors murdered a man shortly after graduation. He's out now (served his time) and posts comments on Facebook that show he has not changed one little bit.

The scary thing is, when he went away so many people were completely taken by surprise and talked about what a good guy he was. I bluntly told them they didn't know the Real Donald Cronaker, and that he'd been a total dick since the 3rd grade. He bullied the unpopular kids, never the popular ones.

Does anyone recall the recent story of the bullied girl who was nominated for Homecoming Queen?

That was me thirty years ago. The exact same thing happened to me, only I didn't get the happy ending. My parents insisted on taking me out of school for three days (I wanted to tough it out and let the election happen). I missed my Senior Homecoming as a result.

After I got back to school, I found out I would have won. A lot of kids were very angry about what happened to me; they thought I was a good person and didn't deserve to be treated that way. I discovered a lot of new friends, good friends, because of that.

My biggest consolation was the asshat who cooked up the prank didn't get into the Naval Academy because of it.

So I guess there is some justice in the world.

[Rageaholic]

That's only true some of the time. The worst beating I ever took in school, happened in the class room in front of the teacher. He ignored it because the bully was one of his "special" kids that he made a point of to "save" every year. They were allowed to get away with bloody murder.

I was beaten so badly, I had to lie on a couch in the principals office for the rest of the day (as in, most of it). The principal refused to allow the secretary to call my mother, or an ambulance even though I was semi conscious most of the day. I had to be helped onto the bus, and helped off of it into the house by the bus driver. Who, of course was clueless as to what happened when my distraught mother asked. I wasn't much help; I actually only found out what happened later because the real story did get to the principals office when I couldn't get up to go to my next class after the fight.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THE PRINCIPLE THINKING? I don't know if I want to know what goes on inside these peoples heads.

[Jester]

The secretary burst into tears when Mom called to confront her, saying the principal had threatened her job if she called Mom.

The principal was a Grade A Douchebag.

The next day, Dad went into principal's office, slammed him into a wall and told him the next time I came home with bruises, the principal would have a set to match.

Your father sounds like my kind of guy!

While I would like to think this is true, Jester, I really don't think so. One of my childhood tormentors murdered a man shortly after graduation. He's out now (served his time) and posts comments on Facebook that show he has not changed one little bit.

Panacea, I said "quite often." Not always, but quite often. I know that there are bullies that grow up to be complete shitstains and wastes of skin. Plenty of them. But the vast majority of kids that pick on other kids grow up to be perfectly fine adults. I am sure many of us were among those who picked on other kids, even if we ourselves were bullied. I certainly did. Do I think I bullied anyone? I don't think so, but it is certainly possible. Not to the level that they would recall me as a bully, I don't think, but I guess it's possible. But kids are kids, and kids will pick on other kids. It's the nature of the game.

My point was that MANY childhood tormentors don't grow up to be horrible people. Do plenty of them do? Oh, undoubtedly so. Your murderer is a perfect example. Is he an example of the norm? I dare say he is not.

Does anyone recall the recent story of the bullied girl who was nominated for Homecoming Queen?

Whitney Kropp. Here is the latest story I've found on her. I am sure if you google her name you can find more. And there is a great facebook page supporting her, started by a complete stranger to her.

[Panacea]

WHAT THE HELL WAS THE PRINCIPLE THINKING? I don't know if I want to know what goes on inside these peoples heads.

The man could not control his own school. The place was a zoo. Very dangerous. He tried to keep everything in house, and smooth things over so reports wouldn't get to the Superintendent of Schools. He thought he was a peacemaker. He was a wimp.

Your father sounds like my kind of guy!

Thank you. In my humble opinion, Dad walked on water.

Panacea, I said "quite often." Not always, but quite often. I know that there are bullies that grow up to be complete shitstains and wastes of skin. Plenty of them. But the vast majority of kids that pick on other kids grow up to be perfectly fine adults.

Fair enough, and quite likely. I supposed I can't really say I know for sure. I left my hometown two years after graduation (when I finished nursing school), and only went back to visit my parents a few times a year. Now that Dad's gone, and Mom's in assisted living, and the house sold, I will never go back. I haven't even been to a high school reunion. My 30 year reunion is next year, and it's highly unlikely I will go.

The scars run that deep. It took a long time and a lot of therapy to move past it. And I still haven't forgiven my tormentors.

Whitney Kropp. Here is the latest story I've found on her. I am sure if you google her name you can find more. And there is a great facebook page supporting her, started by a complete stranger to her.

Thanks for the links. I've avoided looking up much on her; the story brought back a lot of bad memories, though maybe I should look into it more.

[Jester]

Apparently some of Amanda's tormentors weren't content to have driven her to suicide....apparently some of them are posting hateful messages on memorial boards and pages dedicated to her. I can believe that some of these people are just random idiots looking to be assholes, but I have a feeling some of them are her tormentors, and this is just beyond ridiculous. The positive is that Amanda can't be bothered by these fuckheads anymore. The negative would be if they go unpunished for what they did to her. I doubt there is anything illegal about what they are doing now, but having driven her to her death, I would like to think that they can be brought up on manslaughter charges, or something similar.

Or that Amanda has a vindictive spiteful friend like me in the area who doesn't take kindly to shit like that......

Fair enough, and quite likely. I supposed I can't really say I know for sure.

I haven't even been to a high school reunion. My 30 year reunion is next year, and it's highly unlikely I will go.

The scars run that deep. It took a long time and a lot of therapy to move past it. And I still haven't forgiven my tormentors.

You might want to look them up on facebook or google. Not contact them, mind you, just look them up and see if you can find out what happened to them. Maybe knowing that some of them turned out to be normal people, rather than the one murderer you mentioned, will make you realize not everyone that bullies becomes a complete fuckwad.

Then again, it might open old wounds. Just a suggestion, so please, take it as nothing more.

Thanks for the links. I've avoided looking up much on her; the story brought back a lot of bad memories, though maybe I should look into it more.

Her story has a brilliant and happy ending, and I'd be shocked if it didn't make you smile, inside and out.

[Jester]

More on Amanda Todd: Apparently one of the people who posted hateful comments on one of her memorial pages was tracked down by a woman who found that disgusting, and she emailed the man's employer...who fired him.

Also, the group Anonymous has released the name of the man they say originally started all this by extorting Amanda with the questionable pictures she provided him with online. While Anonymous has posted the name of the guy they say has done this, and I originally posted it here, there is enough questionable information online to make me uncertain if that name is the correct one. Whatever his name actually is, I hope he burns in hell....slowly.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

All the victim blaming going on is making me nearly homicidal.

"If she hadn't shown off her boobs, this wouldn't have happened."

No. If the bullies hadn't decided to bully her, this wouldn't have happened. Her showing her boobs in no way required them to bully her, at all.

There is so much rage in me right now that it's a mainstream mindset that the fault is always at the origin point, and not at the CHOSEN RESPONSES to said origin point. Based on the logic of the mainstream, I wear a low cut shirt that I think looks nice on me (mind you low cut shirts do not look good on me, but let's pretend they did!) It is therefore my fault that some guy had no sense of self control and had to attack me/harass me/rape me.

A girl made a mistake and took some pictures she thought made her look good, attractive, or sexy. Why should she think otherwise with all this media focused on women with big boobs tromping around in their underwear/scantily clad? But nope, it's her fault. Her fault that others decided to bully her. Just like it was apparently my friend's fault that her (now very much EX) boyfriend raped her because, hey, he's her boyfriend and so she owes it to him, right?

The law needs to catch up with technology. Right freaking now.

[Panacea]

Apparently some of Amanda's tormentors weren't content to have driven her to suicide....apparently some of them are posting hateful messages[/URL] on memorial boards and pages dedicated to her. The negative would be if they go unpunished for what they did to her. I doubt there is anything illegal about what they are doing now, but having driven her to her death, I would like to think that they can be brought up on manslaughter charges, or something similar.

It's illegal in some places, not others. It's also hard to prove, and hard to get law enforcement interested.

A friend of mine's daughter went through this in California. Her tormentors actually managed to hack her cellphone and send very nasty texts to other people as if they came from her, which just isolated the poor kid all the more.

I urged her mother to get the FBI involved, since cyber hacking laws had been violated, but she'd had such a bad experience with local law enforcement she said, "What's the point? No one will do anything."

Until law enforcement steps up to protect kids from cyberstalking, these tragedies will continue.

Or that Amanda has a vindictive spiteful friend like me in the area who doesn't take kindly to shit like that......

I wish I'd had a vindictive spiteful friend like you when I was in high school

You might want to look them up on facebook or google. Not contact them, mind you, just look them up and see if you can find out what happened to them. Maybe knowing that some of them turned out to be normal people, rather than the one murderer you mentioned, will make you realize not everyone that bullies becomes a complete fuckwad.

Then again, it might open old wounds. Just a suggestion, so please, take it as nothing more.

Her story has a brilliant and happy ending, and I'd be shocked if it didn't make you smile, inside and out.

The ending to her story did make me smile inside and out. I felt good for her sake, very glad she had parents willing to let her ride it out and turn a negative into a positive. I feel she will come away stronger for this.

I've friended some old friends on Facebook but I do very little posting there, even with my old friends. I suppose I should try to reconnect; likely I would find that people have grown up and changed.

Also, the group Anonymous has released the name of the man they say originally started all this by extorting Amanda with the questionable pictures she provided him with online. While Anonymous has posted the name of the guy they say has done this, and I originally posted it here, there is enough questionable information online to make me uncertain if that name is the correct one. Whatever his name actually is, I hope he burns in hell....slowly.

I hope they got the right guy. If so, I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine.

[Jester]

I've friended some old friends on Facebook but I do very little posting there, even with my old friends. I suppose I should try to reconnect; likely I would find that people have grown up and changed.

If you do reconnect, or put out feelers, understand that you may be reopening some old wounds. It may help you heal those wounds, but it may make them worse. And while some of those people who tormented you may have changed, and may be genuinely sorry for what they did to you--or not even aware of how much it affected you--be prepared for some of them to be total asshats who haven't changed one bit.

It's a gamble, and you need to know this before you take that step.

I hope they got the right guy. If so, I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine.

I don't. I don't want him to get a taste of his own medicine. I don't want him to be harassed and bullied. I want him beaten silly, slowly, painfully, and then roasted on a spit rotisserie-style, so he slowly, painfully burns to death.

Some people believe in an eye for an eye. Not me. I believe in an entire head for an eye.

What? I DID say I am vindictive and spiteful, did I not?

[wolfie]

I don't. I don't want him to get a taste of his own medicine. I don't want him to be harassed and bullied. I want him beaten silly, slowly, painfully, and then roasted on a spit rotisserie-style, so he slowly, painfully burns to death.

Some people believe in an eye for an eye. Not me. I believe in an entire head for an eye.

What? I DID say I am vindictive and spiteful, did I not?

Jester, I'm shocked and disappointed. "An eye for an eye" is not supposed to define the punishment that SHOULD be inflicted, but instead to set a MAXIMUM punishment. How can you be properly vindictive and spiteful if you set an upper limit (even if it's a multiple of the original damage)?

[Duelist925]

Some people believe in an eye for an eye. Not me. I believe in an entire head for an eye.

What? I DID say I am vindictive and spiteful, did I not?

How about repeated punches to the scrotum whilst wearing a gladiatorial cestus - for an eye?

Or if you want to get really nasty, replace the cestus with a scissor?

[Jester]

Jester, I'm shocked and disappointed. "An eye for an eye" is not supposed to define the punishment that SHOULD be inflicted, but instead to set a MAXIMUM punishment. How can you be properly vindictive and spiteful if you set an upper limit (even if it's a multiple of the original damage)?

First of all, I did not know that "an eye for an eye" was supposed to define maximum punishment, but instead thought of it as most people do, a formula for revenge. Recent reading has told me that, of course, what you say is the correct version, but that is the original version, the one that few people really know about or understand.

Even though I KNEW that, when I posted my comment, I was still using the generally understood (if technically incorrect) interpretation of what a fair punishment is.

I think if you've read a decent number of my posts, you know that I don't necessarily have a "maximum" level for punishment of the really horrible people in our society.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the only reason certain people are alive is that I would be imprisoned if I killed them.

[fireheart17]

Oh, this is getting better and better.

Now the bully's MOTHER has told them to back off.

[Panacea]

Oh, this is getting better and better.

Now the bully's MOTHER has told them to back off.

Well, she's actually right about one thing: this could be the guy, might not be. Just because Anonymous says so doesn't make it true. The vigilante mentality go end up going after the wrong person.

But mom is wrong about one thing: if her son is into kiddie porn, he is a creep.