Stuebenville High School Rape

[fireheart17]

That is NOT the same thing as blaming women for getting raped, and anyone who deliberately blurs the distinction between telling someone ways to minimize their risk of being attacked...

I have heard stories of women who are raped while wearing a full length tracksuit, complete with hoodie. The only way to supposedly reduce the risk of rape however, often seems to be...

-don't be friends with men.
-wear clothing that covers you from neck to feet and right down to your wrists too. (My argument for the "she was dressed slutty" part is often "what about Muslim women who are completely covered up?")
-stay sober for the whole night when you go out. In fact, don't go out at all because the scary rapist could put something in your drink.
-if you must go out, ensure that you wear a chastity belt at all times.

You know what else isn't funny? The fact that men are convicted in the public eye before any facts, regardless of their side in the case, are revealed. Even after they're acquitted, they still bear the scarlet "R" for the rest of their lives.

I videotape every class/session I teach to cover my ass in case a student with a grudge against me, or trying to cover their own ass for something else, accuses me of rape or any other inappropriate behavior. I shouldn't have to do this, but that's the other part of the "Rape Culture" that exists in this country.

I don't think it's the rape culture per se, it's more the "male teacher is a pervert omgz" culture.
On the web page for the teachers registration board in my state and in another state, you can read the case summaries for a number of incidents that are brought before the board. Some of them I've mentioned on the cs.com website. But there are a huge number of cases involving male teacher and male/female student. There are a few cases involving female teacher and male student or female teacher and female student, but they are dwarfed by the male teachers. It's sad.


There are around 12-15 of us who are pre service special needs teachers. Of them, around 2 that I know of are male. Everyone else is female. The remainder of men I see in my postgrad classes are all mainstream teachers. Of those, the lone man is now considering changing his focus to secondary.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Consent is a freely and non-coerced yes, not merely the absence of a no-that ISN'T taught. Just "no means no", so if she can't say no it's ok? don't believe me?

read this

funny you mention that....
The "accidental Rapist"-courtesy of the "good men project"

Wow I hadn't seen this.

Thanks for sharing this BK, it's really a good insight.

[Nekojin]

Wow I hadn't seen this.

Thanks for sharing this BK, it's really a good insight.

It's a so-so insight. He's taking far too much of the blame on himself. A lot of it is societal - we're all trained to play "signaling games" (and not just with regard to sex) to such a degree, that it's hard to just be direct and honest about one's own feelings. His partner fully admits that she could have said no (or at least, "not tonight, dear," and convinced herself to give in for his benefit.

[Greenday]

It's a so-so insight. He's taking far too much of the blame on himself. A lot of it is societal - we're all trained to play "signaling games" (and not just with regard to sex) to such a degree, that it's hard to just be direct and honest about one's own feelings. His partner fully admits that she could have said no (or at least, "not tonight, dear," and convinced herself to give in for his benefit.

Yea, if you don't see the physical signs, you don't see them. If a person says yes, it's fair to assume the person wants to do it, whether they are acting like they are a porn star in bed or just being chill and keeping it low key.

[kaycivine]

I was raped once, then sexually assaulted twice . Three different men, three different situations. But after the first time, after reporting it to the police, and getting the whole "oh you must have done something wrong" and "girls mess up like this all the time".

Its not just USA that has a problem with victim blaming, Asia is still wayyyy behind in how they address the issues in a lot of the countries as well.
Of course, then there is the fact that since I am very open about talking about it, that I must be faking it or something, there is that line of thought I encountered too.
However, because my own cousin was falsely accused of rape himself, I understand it'll be hard to be believed, and after the first time of reporting, I just couldn't bring it up to the law again, and taking it to court...I didn't have the courage. Plain and simple, I'm a coward in that regard.

This is a hard thing to deal with, on any side, in USA I feel, as a "victim" (although I hate calling myself that...)

[BlaqueKatt]

He didn't know it was wrong to penetrate her unconscious body?

I'm sorry, but I don't buy that for a second. That is literally common sense.

I actually had a male acquaintance sexually assault me, and argue with the police that "since I didn't say no, he was in the clear", never mind the fact that I was terrified, and much smaller than he was-the only thing he understood was "no means no" so not saying no=fine.

Common sense isn't common, and the guy I mentioned after a plea deal for probation and mandatory counselling, he finished college, so there goes you're "dumbest person on the planet" It wasn't an excuse, he HONESTLY believed if a girl didn't or couldn't say no, that was consent.

[Greenday]

he HONESTLY believed if a girl didn't or couldn't say no, that was consent.

It's beyond disturbing to me to find out there are people who actually believe this and it's 2013.

[Nekojin]

I actually had a male acquaintance sexually assault me, and argue with the police that "since I didn't say no, he was in the clear", never mind the fact that I was terrified, and much smaller than he was-the only thing he understood was "no means no" so not saying no=fine.

That's what ball gags are for!

(Okay, yes, that's way out of line. But still funny, when not said seriously, right? Right?)

[crashhelmet]

That's what ball gags are for!

(Okay, yes, that's way out of line. But still funny, when not said seriously, right? Right?)

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

[HYHYBT]

The thing is, in general, unless there's a witness or a camera going or something, it comes down to two people telling opposite versions of events with no proof either way. How are you supposed to know who to believe?

[Greenday]

The thing is, in general, unless there's a witness or a camera going or something, it comes down to two people telling opposite versions of events with no proof either way. How are you supposed to know who to believe?

The one who now has a video of the douchebag rapists where they admit to raping her?

[Seifer]

Someone needs to get Nancy Grace on this. She'll blow it up nationwide and talk about it for weeks. Let's see the town keep it hush-hush when everyone else in America is screaming for blood.

[Greenday]

Someone needs to get Nancy Grace on this. She'll blow it up nationwide and talk about it for weeks. Let's see the town keep it hush-hush when everyone else in America is screaming for blood.

Nancy Grace needs to be banned from participating in the media.

[lordlundar]

That's what ball gags are for!

(Okay, yes, that's way out of line. But still funny, when not said seriously, right? Right?)

Did you not say earlier in this thread that there's no "rape culture" in America?

Now you just shoot your entire argument by acting the same as that dick in the video.

And no, I won't even entertain that there's some humour in it because there isn't. The only way this attitude is going to stop is by calling it out when it happens and actively discourage it.

[crashhelmet]

Someone needs to get Nancy Grace on this. She'll blow it up nationwide and talk about it for weeks. Let's see the town keep it hush-hush when everyone else in America is screaming for blood.

Nancy Grace works for Fox news now. Do a search for the town of Steubenville on their web site and you'll find nothing about this case at all. In fact, the most recent article you'll find concerning that town is Parents accused of forcing kids into plastic boxes from last August.

The other articles are about the candidates stumping there or about the fight against Obamacare.

Are they silent because it's bad press for a Republican supporting town? Silent because of the current common opinion on rape or women in general?