I'd rather not have the Iphone.

[Rageaholic]

If there's going to be all these rules attached to it.

Mother blogs about giving her son an Iphone for Christmas, BUT makes him sign an agreement to abide by 18 rules. Here are some of the rules.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

This raises the question of why you'd even give the kid the phone in the first place if you don't trust him. Oh I know! To have control over him. She sounds like the type who is never going to let it go that she gave him the phone.

I also wonder how this ended up on national news. Slow news day now that the election is over?

[crashhelmet]

I call this great parenting. She's teaching him responsibility and isn't outright spoiling him like so many other parents do.

[siead_lietrathua]

i agree that she is doing a good job. after all, the kid is only 13. if he was 16, 17+ i could see issues but he's barely a teen.

edit to post the rest of the rules. they all seem very sensible.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

[Rageaholic]

Great parenting my ass.

There's sensible rules and then there's control freak behavior. This sounds like the latter. I think the only reason she gave him the phone was to put him on a leash. People like her make me sick.

[Andara Bledin]

Honestly, more kids (and adults, really) need a list like this before they're let loose online.

I like the fact that she gives reasons for some of the rules rather than just lays them all out.

Even if that first one is a little much.

^-.-^

[crashhelmet]

Great parenting my ass.

There's sensible rules and then there's control freak behavior. This sounds like the latter. I think the only reason she gave him the phone was to put him on a leash. People like her make me sick.

Control freak behavior? Seriously?

The kid is 13 years old. I think it's asinine and that kids younger than him have them. I'm not even going to get into the fact that it's an iPhone. A VERY popular device that is also expensive and frequently stolen.

His mother is trying to compromise. She gives in to social pressures by letting him have one, but teaches him to be respectful and responsible with what he has.

[Jaden]

Great parenting my ass.

There's sensible rules and then there's control freak behavior. This sounds like the latter. I think the only reason she gave him the phone was to put him on a leash. People like her make me sick.

Yeah, telling your 13 year old son not to send pictures of his junk and to be a good friend sure is control freak behavior, and deserve language like "she makes me sick"

She's trying to help him not be attached to the damn thing, like everybody (including me) is to their electronics these days. He'll probably be way better off than me in several years. He's young enough that these rules are completely sensible. In two years or so, certainly some of them should be stripped or revised, and I doubt this woman will argue with that.

[kaycivine]

I'd rather not have the iPhone either.



Samsung Galaxy is MUCH more of my style.


And honestly, this is strict, but its not really controlling. At 13, kids can be so out there, and she's trying to give responsibility. May be a bit much in some parts, but at least she is not telling him "YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ME AND DAD AS CONTACT" or something REALLY outrageous.
I think most kids need this kid of rule if they're under 16 and with a hi-tech phone.

Then again, unless my kid is REALLY into after school activities like sports or theatre, I don't plan on letting them have a cell until age 16, and they have to buy the model they want. (I buy the plan, but if their model costs extra, thats on them)

[HYHYBT]

A reasonable list of rules would not contain "if it rings, answer it." Especially not when other rules say it must be silenced in certain situations. Pick one or the other (and the latter is far better.)

Similarly, a rule about what types of music to listen to? Really?

[Jaden]

Similarly, a rule about what types of music to listen to? Really?

She's telling him to broaden his cultural sensibilities. The rule isn't "You can only listen to this type of music" it's "Try and be varied in the types of music you download." I don't see a problem with that.

[Mr. Anubite]

Considering the child is 13, I can understand the strictness. However, these rules need to go when the child gets older. I went to High School with someone who's mother would lock away his laptop and cell phone at 8:00 PM. This was when he was 17.

Now he goes to the local community college, because his mother can't control him if he goes to Harvard, where he was accepted. I hope the mother in this article isn't that sort.

[Rageaholic]

Yeah, telling your 13 year old son not to send pictures of his junk and to be a good friend sure is control freak behavior, and deserve language like "she makes me sick"

She's trying to help him not be attached to the damn thing, like everybody (including me) is to their electronics these days. He'll probably be way better off than me in several years. He's young enough that these rules are completely sensible. In two years or so, certainly some of them should be stripped or revised, and I doubt this woman will argue with that.

No, she doesn't make me sick for telling him not to post pictures of his junk. That's actually reasonable. No she makes me sick for taking it to the next level and putting all these restrictions on what could have been a good gift. Had she not trusted him with an Iphone, she didn't have to give it to him. Otherwise, this is a loan, not a gift.

[fireheart17]

Out of those rules, here's my thoughts on them:

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

Aside from the "aren't I the greatest?" line, it does make sense since SHE paid for it.

2. I will always know the password.

I'm a little bit half and half on this. The reason being that she could then decide what is and isn't appropriate (even if it IS appropriate i.e. Gangnam Style) and delete it.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

That is a point. We tend to get caught up in every other function that most often, it is too easy to forget that first and foremost, it is a PHONE. As far as the answering for "mum/dad" thing, it makes sense if they're checking up on the kid and knowing where he is.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

And what about those houses where the kid DOES answer first?

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

This makes sense. How hard is it to actually go up to somebody and say "Hey, I'll meet you in the cafeteria at lunchtime?" or similar. WHY do we need to text them?

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

Agreed. Especially given the number of people who tend to do that when they first get their phone. (although ideally, he should buy a cover for it to help with that)

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

And how on earth is she going to be able to monitor that?

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

Apart from the first two, again, how can she monitor this? (although if the son is feeling particularly clever, he could delete the text messages/emails)

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

This might be a case of YMMV. What the parents may feel is inappropriate might be different with someone else's parents.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father.

This makes so much sense it isn't even funny. While I have no problems with porn in itself, kids at that age should NOT have porn. If he's still feeling squeamish, he can ask an adult at school if he doesn't want to talk to his parents.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

The only reason why they would need to be out is to check the clock, especially if you're in a place that doesn't have one.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

This I agree with. She's trying to stop him sexting.

A few of these are control freakish in nature (the parental monitoring of everything), but some of them actually make sense for teenage boys.

Although I have to wonder if she also monitors his home internet use...

[AmbrosiaWriter]

These do not feel control freakish to me considering the age of her son. He is still at that age where he doesn't understand the complete consequences of some actions that people can take using a phone thinking they are safe (sexting is one of them, another one is texting cruel things/taking cruel, embarrassing pictures and sending them around.)

The first rule is very important, because I've seen way too many brats with expensive phones bitching that they didn't get the next newest shiny toy for Christmas when their "old" phone is only a few months in use. That rule is good, strong "You will not be a spoiled brat, I am raising you to be better than that."

Once he gets older, some of the rules should and I'm guessing probably will be revoked or revised.

People always bitch and moan about "Why didn't the parents KNOW these kids were doing these things?! THEY SHOULD KNOW AND FIX IT!" But oh! When parents take proactive steps to know, they get bitched at for being control freaks and disgusting parents.

Great.

[Lachrymose]

I pretty much agree with the list as well.

That is a point. We tend to get caught up in every other function that most often, it is too easy to forget that first and foremost, it is a PHONE. As far as the answering for "mum/dad" thing, it makes sense if they're checking up on the kid and knowing where he is.

For a 13 year old, yeah, I guess. Especially for the mom/dad calling part.

But speaking as an adult, the phone is for *my* convenience, not anyone else's. I decide when/if to answer a call. No one else. If they complain about that, tough cookies.

And honestly, for me, personally, I use my iphone as a phone the least of the time I'm using it. And I'm happy with that.